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Sent letter to ex - should I continue with my bf?

I am seeing this guy for 7 months. Before we started dating, we were friends. I didn’t start dating right away because he used to hang out with his ex and they were pretty close. So, I just hung out until I was assured that they were just friends. And after 3 months, I felt that they were just friends and I was sort of proud that people can have their exs and felt perhaps he was just a cool guy. He said she was like a sister to him. The odd thing is that after we were going out and he told her that we were together, she disappeared from his life. He told me that she had wanted a possible reconciliation and he dating me was the last straw for her. That is when I started to question the quality of their friendship. I enjoyed my time with him, but little bug seemed more persistent. One day, I couldn’t sleep and decided to snoop (I know wrong) and she what kind of friendship they had. To my surprise, 2 after we were dating (plus 3 months of courtship) I found 2 page love letter that he had written to her. The page included remembrance of the time they had spent as well as a full paragraph of the reason he said WHY I LOVE YOU. One of them is that she had nice breasts and butt….in one of the paragraphs he lamented having lost her for a fling and that this other girl (me) was a “distant second” compared to her. Well, that is hardly a letter anyone would send to his sister! I found 3 other emails of him saying how much he missed her and that the has cried and thought of her everyday. I’ve asked him since then (without disclosing that I snooped) if he was happy with me and how he felt having lost the friendship with her. He said he was happy and it was good that the friendship ended, since it “wasn’t working out”. I feel like a second choice and that perhaps he is still dealing with his past and not fully healed. In the letters he seemed inconsolable by the fact that she was no longer in her life. Any input you can give would be a great help. Thank you for the great work that you do!

1 blog comments below

Hi, I couldnt ever say it was ok that you "snooped" and found this out by a sneaky/sly method, but the fact is that you have "found out" the truth of where his head is thinking and it's not nice.

You've read it with your own eye's, and only you can make the choice, but I know I'd be thinking of walking away and finding someone who really wants me instead of trying to make something work that isn't real.

People are all crazy, and we all say one thing and perhaps mean something else, but if the path you are chasing isn't "real" then it's maybe time to face it and find a beautiful flower in a different meadow. Walk your own path everytime, but keep your eyes open, always.

...and good luck yeh, my Dad always said "life is never fair" and that would frustrate me, but its true though, just keep searching for the path or person thats the least'll find it one day Smile
watersoul on Mon May 25, 2009 2:13 am

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