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The Student Four Letter Dictionary

BARS: most popular social place, more popular than WORK
BEER: relaxing liquid beverage - widely available
BIKE: mode of transport which means it's gonna RAIN as soon as you get outside the door
BILL: piece of paper laying claim to a big chunk of your grant
BOOK: a means by which to prop up a wobbly table
BORE: another word for lecturer
CALL: something you do to your parents when you run out of DOSH
CARS: another, more expensive, mode of transport, has a drawback - see PARK
CLUB: something you join at the start of the year, but never go to
COOK: something your mum does when you go HOME
COPY: thing which (of course) no-one does with their homework and lecture notes
DOOR: thing you get slammed in your face at job interviews
DOSH: something you never seem to have enough of
DOZE: popular past-time, especially in lectures
EXAM: written bluffing test, now standard at end of each semster
FILE: cardboard device for mixing up lecture notes
FOOD: luxury only affordable upon receipt of grant
FREE: denotes something which is just within a students price-range
HEAD: part of physical person which appears to spin after excessive BEER
HOME: almost heavenly place visited about every three months, usually as a FREE guest
HOST: the only person at the house-warming, who doesn't end up sleeping in a bed
KEYS: things which have the habit of disappearing more often than Paul Daniels
LAZY: label, given by lecturers, to the hardest WORKing students
LIES: another word for the excuses given as you why you want an extension
LIFE: as yet, defies definition
NAME: the one thing you can never remember about the person who you're TALKing to
PARK: one thing you can't do with CARs after 09:10 weekdays
PASS: unfortunately this is not accepted in University examinations as an answer
PENS: writing implement which'll stop working as soon as you haven't got a spare
POND: pathetic attempt to distract people from the amount of concrete on campus
POST: thing you get from your parents asking you why you haven't phoned
QUID: approx. amount of spending money left out of your grant after paying BILLs
RAIN: thing which happens as soon as you start cycling or after you've put washing out to dry
READ: means by which to cure insommnia, esp with respect to TEXT BOOKs
ROOM: something else students don't get much of, esp. in residences
SIZE: this is NOT important
TALK: means by which students discuss anything but WORK
TERM: naughty word that you shouldn't say anymore - that's offical
TEXT: recommended, heavy, paper-based object which is usually the most boring in that subject
TIME: something which you think you'll always have enough of, but invariably don't
TYPE: one thing most students actually do end up doing for long periods of TIME
WALK: method of movement which becomes less co-ordinated after BEER
WANT: something which students end up doing a lot of.. see DOSH, HEAT, FOOD etc..
WEEK: this lasts seven days in the real world, but here seems to last less than five minutes
WORD: something you are not allowed to utter one of during lectures
WORK: Disgusting word - rumoured to be very unpleasant
YEAR: length of time it takes to shake off the BOREs you met in week one.

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