* Indecision is the key to flexibility.
* You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
* There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
* Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
* Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
* Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
* The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
* The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
* Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
* Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
* Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
* Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
* I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
* Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
* If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
* All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
* If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
* One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
* By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
* The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
* This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
* Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
* The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
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