one of those moments that sticks in my head, seemingly, forever...
yeah, this really happened. not so surprising, but it makes a great short story in the retelling.
please, i'm not a writer, and i know it better than anyone...
just wanted to share
Hot day, nearing the end of august. Too hot to spend lunch inside, we'd all migrated to the small amount of shade offered by the roof overhang on the side of the warehouse. Great view for an afternoon meal, a parking lot and our friendly neighborhood freeway offramp. At least there was a breeze off the bay.
What little conversation there was abruptly came to an end as the noisiest, oldest, most beat up looking VW bug I think I've ever seen, made it's way up the slight rise to the light at the end of the ramp. Surprisingly enough, it made it all the way. The cacaphony was shortly drowned out by the bass thumping from the van which pulled up behind it. I know I'm not alone in thinking that the VDub sounded better. Eventually the light turned green. The van inched it's way forward as the VW was jammed into gear. As older cars (and inexperienced drivers) are prone to do, the car rolled backwards as the clutch engaged. Unfortunately, it rolled backwards into the van. Ever so slowly, Ever so softly, It came to rest against the bass-thumping bumper.
Quicker than we could drop our sandwich wrappers and lick our fingers, the van driver had pulled his keys and was out on the street yelling. "YouMotherF***er Where'dYouLearnToF***in'Drive? I'mGonnaSueYouForAllTheMoneyYou'veGot! AllTheMoneyYourWholeF***in'Family'sGot! YouS**OfAB****! YouShouldn'TBeAllowedOnTheF***in'Road!"
As slow as the driver of the van was quick, the VW driver made his way out of his car. He looked to be in his late 60's compared to the late 20's of the younger driver. Taking his time, he walked to the back of his car to examine the non-existant damage to either vehicle. "That'sRightA**hole! TakeAGoodLookAtWhatYou'reGonnaBePayin'For! IHopeYouGotYourF***in'CheckbookOutMotherF***er! YouOweMeNow,C***sucker! YouOweMeBigtime!" The old man half glanced in our direction (by this time they'd drawn a small crowd), and back at the other driver. "WhatYouLookin'AtPops? Ain'tYouGotNothin'ToSay? F***YouOldMan! ForFiveCentsI'dKickYourA**!" Before he could say even one more word, and I swear to God this is true, that old guy had hauled his fist back and coldcocked the young man right in the jaw. No kidding. He crumpled backwards to the ground. Reaching into his pocket, the old guy pulled out a quarter and tossed it on the other's chest, who looked at it groggily. Then he spoke his only words before walking back to his car and driving away.
"Keep the change"
That's really the way it happened, And amazingly enough, no one seemed to be able to quite remember what that old man looked like, once the police got there to ask questions. Seems no one remembered to look at the old man's license plate either.
1 blog comments below
I like stories like these. Sort of sounds like there is a real moral to this story!
deanhills on Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:50 pm