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Confusing breakup?

My ex and I dated almost 2 years. He is 19 and I'm 20. We are each others first boyfriend and girlfriend. Our relationship was amazing and healthy. Everything one should be and we were both very happy and respectful of each other. We deeply loved and cared for Another. I'm in college right now for my second year and he is finishing per reqs for his biology major to become a dentist. We go to the same school. Last July he broke up with me out of the blue and i was devastated and so was he, crying, ect. He said the reason was because of school and because he didnt know what he wanted, but had nothing to do with us, me or how he felt about me.

Over that month he was bothering me non stop telling me he misses me, ect and depressed. He asked me to get back together, we went at it for another month (which everything seemed to be moving very much back to normal). Until out of the blue he did it again. Once again he was very upset and crying and explaining to me how "he cant do school and me at the same time", he cant give me the attention i need (which i dont need a lot at all). He constantly reassured me that he does not not love or care about me, i didnt do anything, he is still attracted to me, im still his best friend (he doesnt have any other best friend), the most amazing person he has ever met and he doesn't want to see other people and that he doesnt want to "lose me completely". It's so frustrating. I have decided to not have contact with him.

It's been two weeks and he has tried to contact me twice and i haven't responded. He tells me the past two weeks have been very difficult for him and that he's still here for me to talk to, blah blah. Who breaks up with someone and texts them saying it's been hard for them?! Confusing right? He is my love but i have realized that he cant handle stress well. I'm a "distraction and when he sits down to study all he can do is think about me." Seriously? Get over that. It's a shame that this is where it is because he thinks he cant handle a non needy, busy gf while he is taking 2 classes. I'm heart broken and don't plan on talking to him for months (which i know would probably upset him). He always told me never to worry about breaking up, that i am his emotional and chemical counterpart and that he works hard so that we can have a future together one day. It's just such a slap in the face, because ill be honest when I say we were perfect and healthy together. He didnt get the grades he wanted the past couple quarters. Which is not my fault. I think he has blamed me for that. If anything he was always telling me "you never ask to hang out first or hang out with me enough". After all of this I still care for him and love him, a great guy but needs a wake up call on what stress really is in the real world. Is it likely for him to regret this? Do men always regret breaking up with a women that has only treated them well and supported them? He told me multiple time that he is emotionally unstable.

Thank you

3 blog comments below

It's because his personality, but not the gender.

A person who can't handle his/her own life (for his case : school & relationship) will keep failing until he/she understand how to find the balance.

Some people will desperately rely on the other, and make the life of the other miserable also.
Drowning people will drag the others down.

If you have the willing and ability to help him grow up, you could try to to it.
It's very exhausting, because I'm helping my girl friend now.
I would not say that I have never regret to do it, but I never said it to give her hope.
rx9876 on Sat Sep 29, 2012 1:17 pm
Thank you for this response. It was exactly what i was looking for. Yes, he is very immature when it comes to handling stress and such. He does have a lot of growing up to do (needs a huge wake up call). I have realized time apart is helping me, because I can't be taken on his emotional roller coaster ride with him. I think we will get back together but won't be for months.
marina703 on Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:00 am
There are books I suggested.

"Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears"
"Hold Me Tight:Seven Conversations for Lifetime of Love"

You could read these book.
If he could realize what he did is to push you away but not keep you around,
suggest him to read too.
It could only be solved by the person who really caused the issues.
rx9876 on Sun Sep 30, 2012 12:35 am

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