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Short Story Part 1

So Just as a random post here is what I have done for my short story for my Creative Writing class.

Finn took his place at the dinner table next to his father, who was already scarfing down the roast beef his mother had prepared. His mother walked in to the dinning room from the kitchen carrying a bowl of mashed potatoes. She placed them on the table and smiled at him. Finn just reached forward, spooning some of the potatoes onto his plate. Her smile faded to a look of hurt. The silence was interrupted by his Father grunting as he looked up only to grab more food before he continued shoveling food into his mouth. Finn looked at the plate of juices, where there use to be a roast beef before his father had inhaled it. He picked up his fork and began eating the dry thick mashed potatoes.
Once his father had finished eating he stood up violently the either he had been drinking all day making him seem heavier. Finn watcher as he grabbed his mothers hair yanking her from her place at the table, and dragging her into the next room. Finn sat silently watching as his mother’s feet disappeared around the corner. He could hear the sounds of slaps, and screams from the next room. Slowly Finn lowered his fork to his plate, and got up. Grabbing the dishes from the table he brought them to the sink. The screams and slaps were getting louder now. He was being more violent than normal tonight, that damn ether.
Finn turned on the water, and began rinsing the left over food from the dishes. Every night this week his father had been bingeing on ether. The devil liquid poisoned him, and made hime violent for no reason. For some reason his mother has never tried to get away, or anything to protect herself. Maybe she had just given up just like Finn. He heard the loud bang as his mother was slammed into a wall in the next room. Finn winced at the noise, a tear began to form. He remembered when they were happy, and they would go to the parks and play almost everyday. Now he couldn’t even remember what his father looked like when he was sober.
Three years ago the Grand Web had been launched to orbit with the earth. Close to half the size of the earth the two orbited in unison around the sun. Everyone was supplied with an uplink transformer in their homes where every night they would simply plug into the Grand Web with the jack on their hips. Everything from that persons life; what they saw, did, their memories, everything was stored in a database. Even their thoughts. Finn along with his mother had jumped right on board with this, but not his father. His father resented the technology. He refused to ever uplink. Instead to drown out the new reality of the world he took to the ether. He started with just inhaling it, but now two three years later he has enough tolerance to drink it. Finn never understood his fathers hatred for technology. In the end was it not technology make his ether as strong as it was?
Finn couldn’t take this life anymore. It was time to fix the problem by eliminating the problem. He knew that this would not take much planning his Father had drank enough ether to paralyze a whale. Turning off the running water he opened the drawer next to the sink. Finn grabbed a large knife. He started to hear a faint beeping in the back of his mind. The knife was covered by a thin layer of dust. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate something that was actually a solid. Closing the drawer with the knife in his hand he stared to walk towards the screaming. The beeping in the back of his head getting slightly louder.
As Finn turned the corner he saw his mother on her knees in front of the couch tears streaming down her face. His father standing in front of her with his back to Finn rearing up for another slap. Finn charged at him as he started to bring his hand down. The beeping was getting louder and louder. Time felt like it was slowing down. The ground began to shake beneath him. The closer he got to driving the knife into his fathers the back the louder the beeping got. It was all he could hear. At the tip of the knife entered his fathers back there was a loud crash. Planks started falling from the ceiling, and the ground was shaking. Finn almost lost his footing as he drove the knife farther into his fathers back. Finn could not even hear the screams, or the rumbling anymore only the beeping. Then it all went black.
Finn lurched forward in bed. The room pitch black. The only thing that could be seen was the small alarm clock sitting on a night stand next to the bed that read 6:05 am. Its alarm was beeping like crazy. Finn reached over and flipped the off switch.

4 blog comments below

Its not done yet this is just what I have left. If you want a spoiler/prolouge to the story you can find it here. I warn you though if you actually like what I have done so far dont read this. It will spoil the surprise at the end of the story, but if you dont really care here you go.

I am actually planning on making this longer than just a short story so this idea is going to be expanded a lot once I have this condensed version for class done.
foumy6 on Wed May 15, 2013 9:13 pm
A sad story I hope part of it did not come out of your personal experience.
You do have some proof reading to do before you turn the story in.
standready on Wed May 15, 2013 10:00 pm
Very intense story. And I agree with stand, has a few errors and some wordchoice I'd swap out, but the story itself has great potential. Do you plan on adding to the story or was that it?
lkglacier on Wed May 15, 2013 11:10 pm
Oh its only just begun
foumy6 on Thu May 16, 2013 5:55 am

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