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I have posted this twice already but as I wrote this in my journal I feel that it fits best here. I will be placing it in quotes so that I do not get points for re-posting.
I don't even know what I have been feeling lately, but what I do know is that it is not good. It is like something is eating away at me killing every last bit of joy and hope. I can't fight it because I don't even know what is causing this to be happening. They are not making it any better, they just keep kicking and spitting on me. I really just want them to go away, but for now it seems as though they are here to stay.

I feel that I am may be going insane... I think that this is their goal to drive me insane, to keep kicking until I can't get up. I don't know what I should do. I think that they are getting stronger every day.

Lately I have been very sick to my stomach, and I can't eat anything. I am starting to loose weight maybe that is a good thing though, although now I am beginning to become more like him. Part of me wants to be like him, the other side of me wants to keep him away. It is like I am locked in a battle with myself. and it is starting to tear me apart.

I don't know what is going on, all I do know is that I want it to stop.

2 blog comments below

Dude seriously.

This is my advice. Talk to your family/ someone close to you. Tell them what you're feeling. And LISTEN to them! Don't get dragged with what's going on in your head right now. If you don't feel okay, you should trust people close to you. Right now, you can't trust what's going on in your head.

This is definitely my suggestion! GO SEE A DOCTOR!

Ahh.. This is useless. With your condition right now, I bet you're even suspicious with me.
Nobody can help you but your family.
loremar on Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:43 am
Just read some of your blog posts. And you're starting to talk about parasites.
This is posing concern. You do know that it is possible that our brain can sometimes think of delusions, right? Especially when we are emotionally unstable.

Yeah I'm saying you're getting delusional.

And this is not my first time, I've encountered one. And I can't say I'm good at handling it.
Someone in my family had a major clinical depression more than a year ago and him experiencing delusions was the hardest for us. It felt like he was already different, more like dead(like a zombie). He's saying lots of Paranoid things like the government is on to him. Yeah like you, he thinks he's opened his eyes. Opened his eyes his ass! He's delusional. For example, he thinks there's something wrong in his body, he thinks something is poisoning him, or something was implanted into him. That's not far from your parasite theory. You should suspect your extraordinary thoughts especially if you're down and depressed. Sometimes, you just can't trust your brain.

I'm saying talk to your family, and see the doctor. This has to stop. I'm just concerned.
loremar on Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:04 am

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