I don't even know what I have been feeling lately, but what I do know is that it is not good. It is like something is eating away at me killing every last bit of joy and hope. I can't fight it because I don't even know what is causing this to be happening. They are not making it any better, they just keep kicking and spitting on me. I really just want them to go away, but for now it seems as though they are here to stay.
I feel that I am may be going insane... I think that this is their goal to drive me insane, to keep kicking until I can't get up. I don't know what I should do. I think that they are getting stronger every day.
Lately I have been very sick to my stomach, and I can't eat anything. I am starting to loose weight maybe that is a good thing though, although now I am beginning to become more like him. Part of me wants to be like him, the other side of me wants to keep him away. It is like I am locked in a battle with myself. and it is starting to tear me apart.
I don't know what is going on, all I do know is that I want it to stop.
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