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Some people always talk

Every morning when my wife and I are having breakfast we see two woman from the neighborhood walking their dogs. When they pass by our house it is always the same woman talking while the other one is listening. Every single day !

I used to have a boss. When he called me into his office I always knew it would take 2 hours and during these 2 hours he would be talking and I would be listening. In rare situations when I made it to talk I saw him yawning after a short while. His eyes seemed to turn to his inner part, it looked like his brain was shutting off.

Shouldn't communication between people consist of a somewhat balanced amount of talking and listening ? Why do some people always talk ?

6 blog comments below

Well, some people can ramble on and still say nothing.
standready on Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:27 pm
I sometimes like it when I don't have to do the talking. I also can zone out at the same time. We're still communicating but only one is doing the talking. Can be relaxing. Razz
deanhills on Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:32 pm
Right, standready, talking and saying something is not the same !

Hehe, deanhills, I am probably like you. Many of my meetings are done as a phone call and I have some meetings where some ( always the same ) people always talk. So I love to relax as well, go on mute and do something else. Just have to have one ear in the call in case my name is called and I have to say something.

I am not a fighter when it comes to communication. If people don't want to hear my opinion I am not the one insisting to speak. I am probaby too lazy for this. Or what is called an 'introvert' ?
amagard on Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:02 am
Nice article about communication on Lifehacker today: "Be More Charismatic In Conversation with the "Two-Second Rule".

Good conversation involves the back and forth of a tennis match, active listening, and avoiding being rude at all costs.

This tip might work in a face-to-face communication scenario, but not in a meeting with many people:
...try to count out two seconds in your head before you reply to what people say.

If I wait two seconds in a meeting or phone call I never will get a time slot to speak.
amagard on Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:22 am
Another nice article about communication on Lifehacker today: "Make Better Conversation With the 50/50 Rule for Listening and Talking".

I always think that a great conversation should be made up of equal sharing by both parties. Sometimes it may be 40-60 or 60-40 depending on the circumstances, but by and large, both parties should have equal opportunities to share and contribute to the conversation. What this means is that you should be sensitive enough to pose questions to the other party if you have been talking for a while. It also means that you should take the initiative to share more about yourself if the other party has been sharing for the most part.

While this is more about a face-to-face communication scenario I think this also can be applied to meetings with some attendees. The optimum number of attendees for a meeting is certainly something to discuss, but for a real working meeting this number should be similar to what is said to be the optimum team size: 5 - 8.
amagard on Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:40 pm
That definitely works Amagard. It sometimes is surprising to me how people open up more when we share something personal with them. I'm almost certain that your experts who like to know what's going on use this method as a technique to get others to tell them what they want to know. They start by sharing some personal "secrets" of the kind that starts with "please, this is confidential, don't tell anyone" and then get plenty of equally personal information in return. Like almost compelling the other party to open up in return.
deanhills on Mon Jun 29, 2015 8:18 pm

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