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Well Life comes at you at high speed....

A few months ago I went on one date of an old friend of mine, we hung out a couple of times both decided it would not work and became really good friends instead.

We both have been through the same things and that is why we got along so well. We were both married young and that ended in adultery and we were the victims, so we have that in common. Also we both got suckered into a cult, I was not there as long as her myself however it is something we have in common. We left around the same time.

The other thing is we have known each other for about 5 years as well. So after the dates we decided to keep it friends. Which at first was great.

She knows I have a long distance gf and she seemed cool with it. We would hang out together with groups of people. She took me along to ikea for my first time ever haha. But now last weekend, she got emotional and told me she feels she is in Love with me, and her friends have confirmed this.

I have not known how to react, however I have slowed down communication and such. It just sucks to lose such a good friend. Any help?

5 blog comments below

Since you're good friends, I'd be open and honest with her and as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more likely she can misinterpret things.
deanhills on Wed May 01, 2013 8:37 pm
Yep, open and honest is the only way, if it hurts her feelings then that is unfortunate but better sooner than later. If she's got no chance then every hour before you tell her absolutely no she is probably thinking about you, all hopeful that she'll get her man. If you think that could be the case then you're not doing her any favours by waiting.

I've had similar situations with female friends but I'm always immediately honest in any conversation like that. It may not be what they wanted to hear but better sooner than later.

Oh, and watch out for any sly tricks like getting you after a few drinks and being seduced into so called 'no strings' sex. Honestly, it's happened to me a few times over the years, even though I've said at the start that it doesn't mean anything, or that I don't want to be with them in any long-term relationship.
The more time which passed it always got more difficult to end when it seemed like a relationship in all but name, especially when the girl is hoping she can keep you through the sexual side of it.
I say don't go there if you don't want tears, and be kind but blunt with your honesty if you want her to stop thinking she has a chance of winning you.
watersoul on Wed May 01, 2013 10:07 pm
Friends tell each other stuff. It is ok to put on the breaks. I just wonder why people give up on friendship. I have but only when it is abusive or just too darn negative/hurtful. I get this thing, we were good friends but it ended when we slept together business only I don't think it's true only an excuse. Maybe I'm wrong but that's just me.
Bluedoll on Wed May 01, 2013 10:10 pm
This girl has now caused a lot of grief and stress. I know it is my own doing, however, she is now trying to get involved in my life. Spreading around nasty rumors about me and trying to destroy anything good.
TheLimey on Tue May 21, 2013 8:37 pm
It's pity that she choose that method to get involved in your life, which is actually pushing you away.
I hope there is a solution for this, and it comes to your mind as soon as possible.
rx9876 on Wed May 22, 2013 3:18 am

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