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Being friendzoned




Is it strange that I actually want female friends who are just going to be friends???

Whenever I have issues with girls it be good to get a girls POV on it, my dude friends are useless. Their advice consists of "Lets get drunk" or "man just go off with another chick".... Guy advice is really useless.



13 blog comments below

Not strange at all to want platonic friends of whatever sex you're attracted to.

Also, it sounds like your guy friends are kinda lame humans if that's all you can get from them.
Ankhanu on Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:23 am
Yeah, my friends are pretty much the dog player types. I used to be that way years ago, but not anymore, it is time to grow up.
TheLimey on Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:59 pm
TheLimey wrote:
I used to be that way years ago, but not anymore, it is time to grow up.

That's great news Smile
Ankhanu on Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:07 pm
Females make good friends... It's not that weird. It would be weird if you only wanted females to be your friends... but that's not weird anymore.
the_emissary on Tue May 28, 2013 1:51 am
Well I had a few female friends, but now they are spreading drama and lies lol. Hope this is not the norm!
TheLimey on Tue May 28, 2013 2:40 pm
I only ever talk about anything with my female friends that I'm not worried about becoming 'public'. There is much more gossip between my female friends than among my male friends, and I'm not making a general statement of women, just an anecdotal observation of my own social circles.

Also, my female friendships are only platonic in the sense that I conduct myself in a platonic manner because that is the way they may look at me. If I like/love a girl as a friend then that doesn't suddenly stop me considering them hot or not.
Maybe some men genuinely think of their female friends as 'sistas' or whatever but I don't because, urm, they're not. I'm always honest about this though if a conversation leads to it and quite a few times certain interactions after the truth have been far from platonic.
I prefer honesty in all my friendships, otherwise it isn't really what I call a friendship.

I think a fair amount of 'platonic' friendships are just pretend for whatever reason, can't be with them because of another partner, don't want to be in a relationship with them for other complicated reason, professionalism at work etc, but platonic meaning 'never thinks they're hot and would say no if girl wanted an intimate moment?' nah, I think many lads are probably just being less than honest because of their particular situation - Certainly most of the guys I've ever spoken to about this subject have agreed the same Wink
watersoul on Tue May 28, 2013 5:25 pm
I'm a guy and it's been the case my entire life that I tend to make more and better friends with girls. Friendzoning can go both ways, but it's usually a matter of miscommunication, expectations, and not being honest with yourself. Guys will be guys and give you a hard time about it, but I think it shows incredibly positive character if you can communicate with girls and not see them shallowly as just objects.
AlexanderBolinsky on Wed Jun 05, 2013 7:05 am
Quote:
I think it shows incredibly positive character if you can communicate with girls and not see them shallowly as just objects.

I think if you look at anyone as "just objects" then of course that is a shallow way of looking at other human beings.
I am tired of this trend in society for guys to deny they ever think of women sexually, even when they are friends. I have many female friends and acquaintances and could answer sexual thought related questions I have about any of them in an instant.

I am a heterosexual male. I am attracted sexually to women, therefore I will think "she's hot or not" with any female who crosses my path. I of course do not share such thoughts if is not appropriate to do so, but if we're expecting a world where the thoughts themselves no longer happen, then I think such an idea is delusional - and frankly it smacks of 'thought police' to me Evil or Very Mad

I would agree with your statement if it had been more along the lines of:
"I think it shows incredibly positive character if you can communicate with girls and keep thoughts of sexual attraction to yourself."
watersoul on Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:10 pm
These are all good points. I do not look at females as "objects". However, Once they get emotions towards you then you might as well throw that friendship to the side for a bit until the dust settles. The girl who this post was specifically about originally has successfully got me and my girlfriend to split up from each other. It causes more bad than good once emotions get involved.
TheLimey on Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:44 pm
I am now dating this girl. lol
TheLimey on Mon Jul 15, 2013 1:45 pm
Is this a good or bad turn of things? Just curious about how you are feeling about the way things unfolded. Take care and hope things go well.
pauline123 on Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:21 pm
This is actually a great turn of events... My friend owns a cottage and invited us all out. Me and her ended up sitting on the end of the boat dock talking for hours with our feet in the water till like 2am haha. Very cliche romantic like. The cottage is in the middle of nowhere on the lake. Never seen that many stars in my life.
TheLimey on Mon Jul 15, 2013 8:23 pm
Congrats!
Good for you.
rx9876 on Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:38 am



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