I had a terrible dream Saturday night. I felt so beaten down come Sunday I just didn't want to get out of bed. I don't feel like this often, I feel silly and terrible because it did...
I dreamt I was back at my public school (always at my current age, same with anyone else and there were so few actual kids!). I was making my way around from room to room and I'd see teachers I actually had in public school as well as some from high school. As I walked through my teachers were getting a little upset with me because they hadn't seen my parents. I found my dad, huddled away somewhere, just standing against the wall in a big coat of his. His shoulders were hunched like he was cold and he didn't want to me. He didn't really look at me.
I kept making my way through the halls and even ventured outside into the school yard. The sky was grey and overcast and a little windy. The yard looked deserted and it kind of freaked me out. I couldn't find my mom. I looked everywhere for her. I think I was calling out for her but no one answers.
As I made my way through the crowds of people and the noise I thought I saw my mom. When the woman turns I saw that it wasn't her. This happened several times and it seemed like mom could have been here at many different ages, her hair would be long or short or the darker colour it used to be or the blonde she dyed it or just the silver she accepted.
Each time I would find someone who looked like mom from behind they would turn around and it wouldn't be the right face. Parts were familiar. Sometimes the eyes, the mouse, the nose, cheeks. Sometimes they had her glasses...
It was so frustrating running around trying to find her but never ever finding her. I woke up and I was pretty damn upset.
This isn't the first dream I've had that was like this. Looking for mom and not being able to find her, just people that looked close enough.
2 blog comments below
Time is just not letting go. My family is not close.
standready on Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:06 pm
I've had dreams like that too, but not recently. I seem to recall the worst part is when the dream goes from vivid memory to snatches and not really knowing what was real of the dream or what was not. I sometimes think the dreaming is a different reality to when we pull it apart with our awake conscious minds. So it's almost like a double loss then. Very disturbing.
deanhills on Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:07 pm