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When You Feel Moderated




I know I post quite a bit on Facebook. I kind of wonder what would happen if I didn't post anything for a week... or 2 weeks... I could do it... but I wonder.

Anyways. I'm only feeling weird about Facebook because I do have some people from work on there. Some of them are pretty cool, some people find my posts interesting. Some are around my age and others are older. Some work at my 'level' while others are obviously higher up.

I think my issue is that my Facebook has kind of allowed my personal and work life to collide. If I just had my Facebook setup with my friends I'm quite confident I could say whatever I want. But with the work folks in there, and partially because they're older... I feel like I have to sensor my thoughts and ideas. I feel this more because I felt I'd gotten a friendly warning and I'm basically being moderated a bit...

Granted I can see both sides. I'd made a general post highlighting that the next day would be my 'Friday' and also that'd I'd worked on someone's laptop. I referenced more their general title, not their name. But it's an obvious title so... even if no one knows they're name they have an idea of who I'm talking about.

A comment flowed in asking what had happened and I made jokes that it was malware. I'd been dealing with so much of that. It's just becoming a major part of the job now. A couple other comments came up and I'd mentioned it just seems so easy and the malware/virus was rather aggressive. Someone asked how people manage this and joked that they must be agreeing to everything that comes up. I kind of feel this is true and said as much.

The friendly warning email came the next afternoon. They suggested I remove the post. I did. They felt it was a grey area as it could be seen as a violation of the person's privacy and the abuse of my power of where I work. Other people I worked with had commented on that and maybe it wouldn't be long before people in upper management saw it and might try to make something of it.

It kind of scared and annoyed me. Scared me because I felt threatened. Annoyed me because I hate how people in different positions get special treatment. It's unfortunate that you can be seen as low on the food chain and people can innocently threaten you in that manner. And the higher up you get and the more money you make there is this entitlement the creeps in and they have to be treated like they're more than human.

No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. Everyone does something stupid. In a sense the post makes you feel like 'this person is human like the rest of us'. Others seem to think 'oh no, this person can do no wrong and we shouldn't let people think such a thing would ever happen to them.'

Irk, irk, irk!

It just makes me want to ditch all the work people off my Facebook. Or create a separate one just for them.

I also ended up feeling paranoid about my privacy settings and I tried to look up the section about who could see my stuff. I checked and really, only my friends can see my posts. If I take someone then their friends can also see my posts. I'm sure that, even though some of my work people commented or liked the post I made, no one outside my friends list should be able to see it. I want to believe that but unless a big flashing sign says it I'm not sure... I checked my activity log and it shows posts I've made as only being visible to my friends. When I tagged someone it's as I said, my friends and theirs could see it.

Arg! So frustrating.

Well, I'm going to try and make a separate Facebook for them... see how that works.



13 blog comments below

you can put a!l your friends and work friends into different groups,and when you make a post,you can select to post to all,or just a specific group,so only that group can view your post.
truespeed on Fri Nov 14, 2014 7:38 am
Separate into groups, friends and people in your work, choose the group when you are posting...
rafael2112 on Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:29 am
Separate account probably won't work because there is always "water cooler talk" and someone will accidentally comment about something and you are right back where you are now. It happens no matter what you try.
Keep post very general if you must talk about something - no names or titles.
standready on Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:59 pm
Think I get it. It's your spontaneity that got every one reading your Facebook posts at a time when you felt you had complete freedom to say what you feel. Now you have to think before you post. Takes the fun right out of it.

Truespeed has a good solution, but then sooner or later that may also collide. A friend at work may mention a post or forward a post to another friend who was not included in the group.

Stand has probably the better solution. Keep it general. Better yet, focus on topics about home away from work. Forget about work.
deanhills on Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:58 pm
All very good ideas. There were a couple other times where I had someone from work ask about a post or two. They were unrelated to work. One example I think was when I went out shopping with a friend and we stopped at the beer store. A almost never go so I stockpiled and I had all these different cans of ciders and different craft beers and even a bottle of wine. I arranged them and took a picture. While some of my friends asked me what I thought I had that one work person caution me. It took me probably 3 or 4 months before I actually cleared through those drinks because I might have one every few days or just the weekend. It's the whole "oh try not to look like an alcoholic" bit that irked me because I know what an alcoholic is like, I was raised by one. I don't ever plan to be like that.

I can't think of other examples because it's just unexpected when it comes up. It feels like the politics at work are being thrown up in my world and I dislike politics to begin with. One of my friends basically said the politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. That is just a facepalm moment. So basically I picture of bunch of birds puffing up their chests and showing off their colours. Then you pan out and they're just tiny and boarding on monochrome compared to other folks.

The frustrating bit about the Facebook groups is I work with people I'm also good friends with. It's like in college how I met all these new people and I got along with some. I started working here and I met a lot of people and they're more than just coworkers. It just seems odd that you can't really be friends with the people you work with? Makes for a bit of a lonely life... A depressing thought I should probably squash.

I don't know... Social media... It's one of the ways I have of communicating with people. My schedule makes it hard to hang out with people and some of them are far away or maybe we only have a couple things in common and actually meeting in person would be awkward.

Ah well... I'm going to rustle up some food and find a game to play... or maybe I'll read a book.
TheGremlyn on Sat Nov 15, 2014 1:30 am
Because of my career and clients around the world, I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account. Not taking the chance of offending a current/potential client's values. I do look at some Facebook pages but never reply.
standready on Sat Nov 15, 2014 5:48 pm
I'm almost certain they are envious of you TG. I know you could probably do without this envy, but from a positive angle shows you where your talents lie. People read what you write! You're GOOD at it. You get them thinking about it, gossiping about it, getting sanctimonious about it, get to irritate you about it. But you're read!

Have you thought about doing something more with your writing, like maybe thinking about making some money with it? As you obviously have talent and should try it out. Here's a good book on how to make money from a blog:
"Problogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income" by Darren Rowse and Chris Garrett
deanhills on Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:20 pm
She Is a good writer agreed,if she could find d a good niche to write about she could have a very successful blog.

I would say the same about you Dean,you're a well travelled man who is very productive in his writing,if you could combine your writings with your travels,add lots of photos and videos,you have the makings of a readable blog.
truespeed on Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:26 am
I certainly agree with you truespeed. Both TG and Dean would make excellent bloggers. I think TG has potential for two blogs - one technical based on her support desk and another just on life in general.
standready on Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:40 pm
I thank you for the kind words. Now, because I'm generally so hard on myself and always have, I'm going to take a brief moment to be flustered.

I could see the blog on life in general. That makes the most sense to me based on what I've written in the past. Mind you I really should keep a tighter rein on how 'passionate' I become on certain topics. I'm not entirely proud of some of my past blog posts. Although when I think of some popular bloggers out there they stand out because they're rather aggressive. Although I expect there are others out there, I just don't know about them.

To your comments, Dean, I feel I'm more envious of everyone else. Part of it likely has to do with the realization I'm one of the youngest people in the department :S So most people have families and they go on all these trips and vacations. On a note closer to home, they all seem more connected with their families and extended families. I feel detached and far away... Of course, let's keep in mind I'm kind of leaning towards a bout of depression with the snow and Christmas cheer all around.

I think the kind of blog I'd like to write isn't far from what Dean already does. I want to travel and go to different cities and villages and places. I want to take pictures and then blog about those adventures. One aspect has me using my camera and working on that skill and the other has me writing and working on improvements there. I'm always so critical of myself so I feel my use of the English language could be better. If I took more time to read I'd likely absorb a few things there : words and their meaning, sentence structure, punctuation, etc etc.

It's something more to ponder... If I could stick with the idea maybe... One of my coworkers does have a blog and he talks a bit about his life and his struggles and what has helped him, who has helped him. Mind you I find he can be somewhat vague but not everyone wants to be an open book. I'd almost rather be an open book... Give as much detail as I am capable of...

Anyways, I've got some time left before work so I think it's time for more coffee!
TheGremlyn on Tue Nov 18, 2014 2:42 pm
Hey TG, I won't go into families other than to say I have a few neighbors that are much more 'family' than any of my own. I heard you about depression this time of year.
standready on Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:09 pm
@Truespeed. Thanks mate. That was great to hear, like TG, never thought about it that way.

@TG. It's not so much the topics but the heart and soul you put in your posts. The way you tell your stories. If I were you I'd just try something without being too organized about it. Start your own personal blog. Take Website space, do the Google Ad thing, maybe a little SEO, helps you're already an IT savvy person and you will no doubt be good at figuring it all out. Create your "own home" in your blog. Paint the walls your favourite colors. A widget here and there about bios of your pets, maybe a little video of Eve's latest antics. Then just write the way you do here at Frihost. Let the topics come as they will. And see what happens. Should be fun.
deanhills on Tue Nov 18, 2014 6:41 pm
@deanhills.
Totally agree about your idea about blogging life events. People all like to watch stories and videos about cute pets, and TheGremlyn has many of them.

@TheGremlyn.
Since blogging is not writing a novel or news, I consider the blog articles does not have to be too rhetorical. What important is popular topic, general and popular term.
Writing a blog to attract people's attentions from search engine,
you have to choose the words wisely just like common people around the world,
so those people have the same problems could use their keywords to google your articles without efforts.

Looking forward to your blog.
rx9876 on Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:26 am



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