Hope you can get over it.
There is a saying that 'To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.'
(Lewis B. Smedes)
In this dream I'm back with my ex, as if I'd never left the apartment. We're struggling to keep our spaces separate. Frustrated I wander off to deal with my guinea pigs and try and set them up in a little cage/hutch thing so they can eat some grass and enjoy the weather (apartment it's kind of sunny and warm out as opposed to the middle of winter).
When I come back the see that the ex has tossed some of my clothes around that were right next to the hamper. I get annoyed with him and make some comments but otherwise I just pick up my close and sort them out and put them away. When I go into the closet area and try to find some hangers I notice he has a lot of clothes just jumbled inside. I comment on that and we kind of have a little fight because he's pushing some boundaries of our 'space' issues.
I shove his clothes aside and get mine in, then storm out and walk around. Parts of this get weird because as I'm walking around there are people driving specific cars, kind of like taxis, and you hear something like "If I were to floor it and hit that curb, what would happen?". For a moment you stop and look at the car in question and wonder if they're seriously going to do that, but then the car just drives off normally. I heard stuff like this a few times as I was walking around this city.
I meet up with a woman who is either a friend of the ex or the sister of the ex, either way she reminds me more of a librarian from the University I work at. We start to drive around and she's trying to explain why the ex is being such an ass. She goes on to say that he actually misses me and what we had. I look at her and say "What? Are you kidding me?"
She explains that he just doesn't know how to handle the situation, but he still cares for me and wants me back. I can't believe what she's saying and we ride the rest of the way in silence. My life flashes before my eyes a few times during this drive because this woman suddenly struggles with the concept of ONE WAY STREETS! She drives up the wrong way of about 3 streets until finally, I'm back at the apartment.
When I woke up from this dream I wasn't thinking about it. It was almost as if it never happened. I was more concerned with whether or not I was still feeling sick (which I do) and how to tell my supervisor that (again) I'm sick and might not make it into work. This half lead to a lucid dream where I was texting her back and forth and she was saying she was also feeling rather ill and would know if she could make it by 7AM.
I'd thought some more about this when suddenly anxiety gripped my chest and I remembered the dream. I remembered the woman saying that my ex still liked me and wanted me back. But I knew the harsh truth that he could have cared less about me. Maybe he did his best to let me down but I knew he was lying about still liking me and wanting to be friends. Now I feel even worse and I feel a little more ill than before. My sickness is not only because of what I ate last night, but also because of the dream and resulting anxiety that is throwing me through a loop.
1 blog comments below
rx9876 on Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:34 am