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I just had a dream where the ex and I were... somewhere... seemed like it was an apartment but it was some weirdo's house at the same time and he kept getting annoyed or weird with us and kept talking to us and generally annoying me as well... And he likes Mac computers and that just made me rage a bit.

Anyways, at first we seemed to be trying to work together and then that turned into asking him why he broke up with me, to explain it better, to talk to me and say when he's obviously been holding back. He would almost look like he was going to talk to me but then he would stop and say nothing. Typical dream to do this because I don't actually know the reasons, I don't know what he's supposed to say.

His silence bothers me and I throw a few things at him about what I think has been bothering him (home, family, divorce, work) and again ask for some more information from him, a better explanation or to at least talk to me. Again, he ends up being silent.

This carries on for some time and I get angrier and angrier at him. He seems to be getting rather annoyed as well but he still doesn't say anything. I think once I hit him in the arm or smacked his chest as he just sat there looking at me. I nearly storm off and rage at the weirdo walking around. Each time I walk away I whirl back and demand some answers. I think the dream ended when he said OK but he still said nothing else after that. Then I woke up with the dream spinning in my head and I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming or if it had actually ended.

I hate these dreams. I've been through these breakup dreams and they have a terrible effect on me. Maybe this will be different because we're still living together (for the moment). I just have to watch I don't throw myself out of bed and start raging.

2 blog comments below

I should also add, near the end of my dream my ex tried to imply I had cheated on him. The Me in my dream was basically like "Whaaaaaat??? Are you kidding me????"

One of the top things that pisses me off is when he would try to suggest that we'd only breakup if I cheated on him. I turn into a she-hulk over this because:

a) I was raised around parents who were faithful to each other. They had a pretty big influence on me because I was somewhat sheltered from the world (didn't get our to any friends though I didn't have many, didn't do extra curricular until high school and that was band, just didn't get out much). I am a faithful person and if I have an issue with them or I'm not happy, I make the decision to not be with them and go back on a quest of personal development and discovery (we're talking a few years).

b) It takes me waaay to long to actually get into a relationship with someone and be comfortable with them. It was almost 4 years because I tried to see if I could date anyone, then it was over a year since that test that I got into my currently failed relationship. I can't just hop into bed with someone I don't know or barely know. And people in the friend zone stay in the friend zone.

c) It's just a huge insult to my character and it's not fair to push their own fears from their past onto me. It's asking for trouble.
TheGremlyn on Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:39 pm
There are seldom really answers in a break up because honesty just will not happen. Silence is quilt. You did nothing wrong. You held up your end of the relationship.
I hope these nightmares stop for you soon and you again see in yourself all the positive things you have to offer the world.
standready on Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:59 am

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