Just wanted to say "hello" from the Ms Gulf Coast. I am a mother of a 21 year old young man who seemed to have had the attitude you currently have now. He moved out a bit older than you, he was more like 19 and still staying with us so he could go to college.
I also have a bright almost 17 year old daughter. I would say a world of difference between the two, I love them both and appreciate each for their personalities, creativity, and managing to stay on speaking terms with me--sometimes enjoying each other's company.
It seems that a "higher" intelligence sometimes brings out what some folks construe as anti-social behavior. I deeply appreciate that you want to protect a vibrant relationship with your parents.
At your age it is sometimes difficult for each side to understand the other. Your parents have likely paid many "dues" in the school of hard knocks. Our greatest hope is that we can spare our maturing children some of the heart ache and expenses we had because of how we chose to live our lives when younger.
I hope you don't mind is I say it is rather normal to be thinking of going on your own. It is exeptional to want to protect your family relationships. I don't necessarily recommend moving out unless you are ready financially. Often our maturing children do not realize that some things come at a cost. i.e., air, water, Internet, Cell Phone, Gas to get to work...
From the daughter:
I was sitting on the couch texting when my mom told me to come over and read your post to see if I had any thing to say- so I am! =)
My parents and I used to NOT have a good relationship. My mother and I couldn't spend a couple of hours out together without upsetting eachother.
I think a lot of parent- child issues stem from a lack of understanding of one another and clashing personality traits. What has to be done in situations like this is for both parties to make a conscious effort to make change happen. You don’t have to completely change yourself and your mother doesn’t have to completely change herself. If you can both be humble enough to come to a compromise about the issues that cause the rift to continue, than you will be able to live in tolerable if not harmonic circumstances.
If you can sit your mother down and talk calmly (without either of you jumping into anger) about the situation and come to a conclusion about what you can both do to make life together more peaceful, it will be much better for you.
About your hate for the materialistic tendencies of people and society in this day and age- I completely understand and for the most part agree. However, closing out the rest of the world because of your irritation will not help you to find solace either. The trick is to search out people who live more freely- less suckered into the cookie-cutter lifestyle that society gives us. Whereas I am continually frustrated with the actions of people all around me, I still manage to maintain an extremely close group of friends about 20 in number that all focus more on the more intelligent and abstract side of life on this planet. I cannot describe to you the sense of love and belonging that there is to be found when you find people that are like you. I’m on friendly terms with nearly everyone in my grade and all those I know in the grades below me even though I don’t agree with the way most of them conduct themselves.
To deal with the frustrations that build up when observing the way people live- in that zombie state of consumerism obsession- try to remember that they are indeed still PEOPLE, and dig a little deeper to find what makes them unique and what makes them worth knowing.
Not everyone is as bad as their outer shell makes them appear to be.
I hope this helps a little. =)
Welp, my first ever blog post... not sure how these go... should be... interesting, to say the least.
Okay, well, I'm 17, living with my mother, only herself and I, looking to move out with a room mate because too much difference with my mum and I causing fights therefore a rift between us, I'd rather move out and minimize that so that we can have a good relationship all my life.
I am very Anti-Social don't mingle with many people, mainly because most people in this day of age is a brainwashed zombie doing whatever the media tells them to do. I hate most mainstream music only because it is corporation backed highly edited tripe made purely to get popular fast and die out so people buy merchandise and CD's to give the corporations mass profits. Damn consumerism
So yeah, most of my posts will be rage induced incoherent crap that probably isn't always true but is my view on the world and how it works...
What else is there to say about my life? Uhm? I hate the society we live in because its such a monogamist place to be...
I dunno, if your reading this and interested/agree/disagree with anything please reply so i have more content to talk about...
1 blog comments below
msphoto on Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:09 pm