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At a loss....

I'll start off by saying:
1) I know im an ass for what i've done
2) this is gonna be long

I just really need somewhere to kind of get everything off my chest.

I'm a junior in college right now and things have gotten a little crazy and messed up in my love life. it really started basically about a week ago. but the backstory for all of this goes back much farther. my roommate had been talking to this girl basically all summer who he grew up with and lost contact with. turns out she is coming to our college. so he's talking with her all summer and he tells me all about her and everything. (to be honest he isn't the best looking guy out there so this is a big deal). and i see how happy and excited he is to finally see her at school and all this.

so we get to sschool and i finally meet her and she's wicked cool and all that. but the mess begins after i go with him to hang with her and her roommate. what ends up happening without any action by me, as i was actually interested in the roommate, is that the girl who my roommate was talking to actually ended up having feelings for me, stronger than the ones for him. so instead of ending stuff right then and there, i welcomed it so to speak. i was like in the middle on it. i refused a lot of her advances, but one time i actually broke and we hooked up. afterwards i felt so bad and i ended up stopping talking to her. this would eventually bite me in the ass later on.

forgot to mention how before all that about 2 weeks ago or w/e my roommate expressed his feelings about the girl to her, and she turned him down. so thats what kind of leads to the next bit.

this past weekend, my roommate had his ex up, who'm i was "introduced" to over the phone on a night she wasn't doing to well. and ever since like i would talk to her every once in a while over the span of about 6 months before this weekend when i actually met her. and just like i thought itd b awkward meeting her, but that went away quickly.

later that night she was here we all started drinking, and all that. and she gets to the point where she wants to lay down so we go back to our place, she lies down. kinda forget exact details about why i stayed in the room. but it ended up with me and her making out a couple of times. the next morning i ask if she remembers, and she says she did and didnt think i would. so then me and her really start talking like through texts cuz cant let my roommate know whats going on. shady i know. throughout the next day and the next night it basically happened again numerous times where we would just start kissing and what not. so following this weekend his ex is now into me and im def into her.

then last night stuff blew up. the girl from the summer needed some stuff back, and mind u i had been ignoring her all weekend in hopes this would blow over. so my roommate goes over and then i while comes back. and i knew he was pissed. turns out everything came out and shit hit the fan. basically getting what i deserved.

i know im prob forgetting a bunch of details but for the most part, im into his ex and shes' into me. big obstacle with my roommate since i basically screwed him over once, and the fact his ex is the only other "optino" for him at this point, itd kill him that i'm doing this.

im just at a loss....
wow, what a post.

I'm sorry I can't be of more use, but I think that...

you should confess with your friend (the roommate), and you may find out that he wont care.

An example of my experience was when some guy (a friend of mine) walked up to me and said' oh, why are you flirting with my ex'.

My responce was simply, the fact that she is your ex, she is no longer 'property' of this person.

So if your roommate gets really pissy about it then I suggest you tell him that she is his ex, and that she and he should be able to do what you want without the need for his permission!

Hopefully this information maybe of use to you, I might have mis read the massive post.

Hope I helped.
.........................wonder how you are feeling now?

.............don't think you did anything wrong as long as you are following your heart

........ well pulled in two ways by friends but sometimes it happens

....maybe it will all work out the way it should be - trust that

..........................writing sometimes helps you think it through, if things seem to go fast
thanks for your input. its just a crazy situation. and just so much that i've wanted to say but can't as most of my good friends are at college with me and fear of things getting back to my roommate without me saying anything. then its just one big mess.

the whole thing is just crazy because i never expected it to happen over the months that we would talk here and there online. but as soon as we saw eachother, things just started.
now we talk online a lot and text and all is well there. i just dont know where things are going with this or if anything will come of it.
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