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1st time long distance....ex is playing mind

I don;t get men. Not at all.
I'm finally in a healthy relationship. After 27 years of...not so much....and of course he ends up 15 hours away. BUT

I'm relatively certain as soon as J moved out of state, my ex (who I broke up in feb with....because it really wasn't working....we didn't fight or was just not. working.) has decided that he's going to attempt to slide right on in. Dude, WHAT?

He hasn't said this, mind you. but we dated long enough for me to know there is a game going on. I can tell because he puts his hand on my waist at random times in public.....he stands more within my personal space then is completely comfortable, he follows me outside and smokes a cigarette when we end up at the same bar (he doesn't smoke.....or at least....didn't)

So, whats up? we're in the same circle. If I can, I want to avoid the whole "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND< BACK OFF" because, the whole drama that can insue makes me tired just thinking about it.

but, can I get him to ease off without drawing a think line?
Being blunt is probably your best bet. If he gets hurt, then that's what has to happen. You could avoid him altogether and not go out for a while, but it'd be much easier if you just told him to cut it out. He isn't going to learn if he doesn't get hurt. If there is any drama, then he's just being immature about it. Trust me, guys can be very possessive with exes. The same thing happened to me with my ex. I tried that same routine, and it didn't help. It was just really foolish. If you have to, then just say you don't feel comfortable with the way he's acting. That's probably the best thing you can say. Other than that, if you have to be blunt, then don't be afraid of it. Tell him how you really feel and don't sugarcoat it. If he starts being dramatic, then he's just being immature, and it'll eventually pass. Just tell him to save the drama llama for his mama, and get on with your life.
I agree with the bluntness.

Tell him to f*** off. You've moved on, and he clearly needs to too.
I'm with the others here...tell him to haul ***!!!!

If you don't want him to place his hand on you when he does move it away, you don't have to slap it but you can move it and say..."please don't do that".

You set the pace, if he's in your space take a step back, if he comes closer tell him you need to breathe!
This is some sort of human law. It has happened to me a million times. The SECOND you move on & find someone new, the ex will want you 100 times more than he ever did before.

It is all a game, and you can't give in.

Remember, you are happy with the new guy. You said it yourself, this is the real deal. So don't risk screwing it up because you don't want to be rude to the ex (or whatever it is you're worried about). Be blunt, be firm, say BACK OFF - YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE.
Stop hanging out at bars.

Make sure you can trust the guy before you can have a relathionship. And yes stay out of bars unless you want to get laid.. lol
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