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i guess i need a relationship now....





jossylala
for a long time now,i have been having problem entering into a relationship bcos i am scare of being rejected.please i need your advices and i would like to make friends here....(am a male)
RubySlasher
Realize that you're what's worth the most in your life, and you'll be invincible. (Of course don't tell anyone you love that you're the most important thing to yourself, you don't want to be hurting feelings.)






.
psycosquirrel
If you need friends, look in real life! Online friends can be okay, but they are by no means a substitute for the real thing.

Find a girl you like and tell her how you feel. The worst she will do is refuse to date you. It's not the end of the world, and it will teach you that it is okay to be rejected. There are tons of people out there. If it doesn't work out with someone, it was not meant to be. It's as simple as that.

Getting turned down and rejected is part of falling in love and being in love. There's nothing abnormal about it. Bottling up your feelings and living in fear of rejection is unhealthy. Think of it this way... If you ask a girl and get rejected, oh well! No big deal. But, what if you never ask, and for the rest of your life, regret not having the balls to ask her in the first place. You're so much better off just going for it.

You'll always get rejected in one way or another - even if you're in a relationship. I get rejected in the bedroom all the time! Laughing
Kelvin
it's true that rejection is just part of life that one has to face up with. YOu will always get rejected one way or another. If you are just so afraid of rejection, then just compare it to work, you go for a job interview (the interviewer is the girl) and both of you talk for a while,.... the conclusion is either you get a chance to go for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc... interview until you finally get the job (being the girl) or you get rejected (you don't get the job offer of working as the boyfriend). If rejected, then you just have to look elsewhere. Don't tell me you won't look for work in fear of being rejected?

What is important is that you should not have any regrets in life cause living in regrets is no fun. There are just toooooo many WHAT IFs you'll have to face up to for the rest of your life if you do not take the initiative to react. Once you get over this part of fear of rejection, then you will be much better off and happy. All the best and pray to God for courage.
blackheart
If you fear rejection, then don't look for a romantic relationship. Mix with people casually, and make friends. Get to know them, become comfortable around them, and eventually you'll notice someone you find attractive... and it'll be easier to ask them out.

Don't feel you need a relationship right now, it'll come eventually if you just let yourself meet people.
KatanaSky
Sometimes you just gotta jump in and start a conversation with someone. Learn to practice the basics, ask questions, listen, comment on their answer or ask another question based on their response. If they ask you a question, answer fully. Avoid asking questions with one word answers (e.g. yes, no), and avoid answer with a simple yes or no. If they ask how are you, don't just say fine, elaborate some. I can't speak for every female but I know that I wouldn't want to get with a guy that Never talks about himself and a guy that Only talks about himself. I'd want to know that he can hold a decent conversation. So many relationships are ruined (or they just don't take off) because of the lack of communication.

If you do get turned down, it's all good... move on - understand why you got turned down and decide whether it's something you have to change about yourself, or just figure what kind of girls not to ask out.

Be confident, but not cocky. Be/Have fun, but don't be irresponsible. Be a gentleman, but not a wuss either.

Good luck with everything.
vegi666
jossylala wrote:
for a long time now,i have been having problem entering into a relationship bcos i am scare of being rejected.please i need your advices and i would like to make friends here....(am a male)




its all about confidence.. think about how many women are in this world, being rejected by one or a couple isnt really anything to be afraid about. It also depends on the type women you go after. There are alot of stuck up self centerd women out there but also keep in mind that even the trashiest girls want love to. So remember man its all about confidence, just be yourself .
vegi666
KatanaSky wrote:
Sometimes you just gotta jump in and start a conversation with someone. Learn to practice the basics, ask questions, listen, comment on their answer or ask another question based on their response. If they ask you a question, answer fully. Avoid asking questions with one word answers (e.g. yes, no), and avoid answer with a simple yes or no. If they ask how are you, don't just say fine, elaborate some. I can't speak for every female but I know that I wouldn't want to get with a guy that Never talks about himself and a guy that Only talks about himself. I'd want to know that he can hold a decent conversation. So many relationships are ruined (or they just don't take off) because of the lack of communication.

If you do get turned down, it's all good... move on - understand why you got turned down and decide whether it's something you have to change about yourself, or just figure what kind of girls not to ask out.

Be confident, but not cocky. Be/Have fun, but don't be irresponsible. Be a gentleman, but not a wuss either.

Good luck with everything.





sort of a flip flopper there huh.. women dont know what they want, men do, women just cant comprehend it
Tom7
just practice at a mall or somthing. like just make eye contact and smile at them, maybe say 'hey' as you walk past. Good luck
jenss
It usually works out that you find someone when you're not looking. If you feel like you NEED someone else to make you happy then you need to work on your self image. I would recommend going to things you like to do to meet people. Try some community ed classes or special trips through local organizations. I knew me current boyfriend for over a year before we started dating and now we've been dating for over three years. Don't worry, it doesn't usually take that long. I was just preoccupied at the time. However it's not going to be tomorrow and it's not going to happen if you sit on your duff at home and don't get out and meet people!!

Jen
mmurph14
Hey,

As someone who still feels awkward with dudes sometimes (ok, I'm a girl, so you might feel weird abound me) my best advice is......start with the simple things. actions speak way louder then words.

hold the door open, pick up something a girl drops - and not just "the" girl - but any girls! practice practice practice. Light her cigarett, carry her coat, pull out her chair.
These things.....some girls will go all feministic on you, but the good ones will appreciate your kindness.

And finally, if conversatoin isn't going well with whoever whereever....YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY THERE! conversations have 2 sides, and sometimes, it just doesn't flow.

Try to become comfortable with yourself, and if things get too bad, there is no shame in talking to a therapist who may help you work on your communication skills
Da Rossa
jossylala wrote:
for a long time now,i have been having problem entering into a relationship bcos i am scare of being rejected.please i need your advices and i would like to make friends here....(am a male)


Oh good! You know the only obstacle in your way. You may be veeeery ugly, poor or even stupid, or anything else, you still can get a girl. The only way for you NOT to get one is to mind this obstacle. Once recognized and spotted, work around it. It's not too easy, I understand. This is about self-talking. When you put everything on the table, you look to your problems from the front, and they will get scared.

Tip: there is a software, unfortunately paid, called mindmapper pro 2008. There may be a free counterpart. This helps!
ssthanapati
fear of girls rejecting u??? Then get the girls propose u... It works for me.... Even i was scared of proposing girls... Actually i am still now.... But that never stopped me from getting girls
Coen
Rejection isn't something you should fear. It isn't the end of the world. A couple of days ago, I asked a girl out for the first time. I was freaking out a bit but I thought: If she says no, she'll just have said no and that's the end of it.
I asked her and she said yes, wasn't that hard really. You can do it, just try. If someone rejects you, that's sad for a while but there'll be other chances, other people and you're bound to find someone that'll say yes.
Kelcey
Rejection isn't something you should fear. But it is something you do fear. Rejection makes someone feel, well, not all that great despite not actually losing anything. But if you really wanna get a relationship, you should put yourself out there. Rejection will come... but you'll most certainly get acception too.
tronics
Dont push you to a relationship, let the time come and the it will go the righty way
enricos
Have you ever attended a dating seminar ? You sound like you need to build confidence and i think those guys know just how to help you.

Look there is no shame in being afraid of being rejected. But if you don't get over it you will be single and miserable for the rest of your life.

What do you have to lose , why not try one of those seminars. OR maybe get a book you can read.
jossylala
Hello mates,right now i have seen one i love,sheis in my church and presently i do go to greet her after church and hopefully,i would get her to be my friend.Do u have any advice on how i should go about this?God....She is so beautiful!!!!!
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