interesting story

eekieskywalker

I wanna translate a chinese novel to english. this is the 1st 4 chapters.

SO i'm wondering maybe you are interested to read in spare time. possiblly give me some feedback so i can improve in future. if i feel noone interested, i may not keep on doin this. Cheers

http://socialadvanture.googlepages.com/

Vladalf

Seems like a very interesting story. I just finished reading 1.1 Bully. Your english is very good, just 1 or 2 mistakes here and there. The story so far dosen't have any serious idea but I'll read chapter 2 too and see if something shocking happens. Good luck translating the rest of the parts.
-Vladalf

EDIT: Read it all now. Seems really nice. Looking forward to the rest.

saratdear

I suppose English is not your first language?

Reading through the whole thing written till now, I have to say it is quite good considering the original novel is Chinese and English is not your first language.

One main thing I would suggest is not to give extra information. People should understand from the novel itself, or perhaps, they do not need it at all. For example, while introducing the tall bully, after Sean called him Qiang, there is no need for you to tell that his name is Qiang, as you have done. In another situation, you have talked about the no. of floors in the school, its layout etc., inside brackets. There is no need for all this, unless it is necessary for the storyline. Also, in that situation where the boy who cleans the class asks Xie why he was staying up late when it is already 6 o'clock. There, it is not necessary to say the school closes at 5:30. It is unnecessary detail and can be avoided.

I hope I do not come across as very harsh. I've got to say the theme of the story is very good, you have to improve on some areas. Very Happy