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How can jealousy be cured?!





daljirman
It has been a while when i stopped loving girls, but i have found one beautiful young girl whom i called the girl of my dreams. How ever this girl claims to be in a real love with me and she takes much time with me and i completely trust her as i found her as a true love for me Cool . Till now we have a little problem. whenever she sees me standing with another girl she thinks that i am dating her and when i come back to her i see her difference in mood, upset and disappointed. when i try to cool her down she tells me that she is dying for me and i wouldn't care. I tell her every time that i don't have another girl that i love more than i love her. I tell her that i am even going to marry her. She tells me that she trusts me and whenever i talk to her she cools down but she still keeps getting jealous whatsoever even if i am talking to my sister.
I don't know what to do>>>
myleshi
Quote:
She tells me that she trusts me and whenever i talk to her she cools down but she still keeps getting jealous whatsoever even if i am talking to my sister.
I don't know what to do


How old are all you people? This sounds like adolescent trifling to me, the kind of stuff we used to do when I was 14. Confused

Get’s jealous when you talk to your sister? You have to be kidding. Then you say she “trusts you”? I don’t think so. Then I read you want to marry this person!! Shocked

My advice would be to slam the brakes on and take a long breather. Life is far too short to get mired down in some god awful relationship - believe me.
Slinky
I tend to be extremely jealous when my partner is around other guys. Its a problem I have yet to find a cure for.
swizzy
Hey! no one needs to feel jealous or feel insecured from others if their partners are talking with the opposite sex.....

Actually before coming to your life he or she might be having friends of the opposite sex, so why to change/challenge all those things......just give some space to your partner to interact with others and slowly slowly all your problems will be solved..... Rolling Eyes
rightclickscott
Emotional rollercoaster much? I've dealt with this type before. Usually, it's best just to avoid them, but you're in too deep with her! However, this isn't too bad! She's obviously possessive, so you're going to be dealing with this kind of stuff all the time. This means that she's also an attention ******! The best way to keep her in check is to bring her around where ever you go, and make sure you're always holding her hand or something while you participate in any activity. Really, it's the simple things that matter, and if she's going to be immature, then use some immature tactics to keep her appeased! Really, just give her more attention, especially, and I can't stress this enough, when you are talking to other girls. Try to bring her into the conversation and make sure you're always keeping light physical contact with her.
apple
again the age question pops in....how old are you guys?

if she trusts you even tho shes jealous, she won't get tooo upset about it.

the main problem with jealousy is, sex. when you hang out with a member of the opposite sex, your partner who is obviously insecure with herself, thinks that its because you find the 'other' women more attractive or plain out, that you'd like to bed them.

if this is valuable to you, then stick it out.

I used to be insecure, it took a long time and now, I'm totally not fazed. he knows what ticks me off and he just does not do it. I ahve no issue with him interacting with a woman.

If however, they are really cozy then I gotta raise my eyebrows!

does your girl know your female friends? would it matter if she did? do you give her any reason to be or feel insecure? (for example, bar hopping and picking up girls...)
Coen
I think it's important to know how old you are to offer a possible solution for your problem. I do think that what was previously suggested about the physical contact is a good way of solving it. Make sure she can hear what you're talking about with the other girls so she knows you aren't dating them.
Flarkis
Jealosy is part of a health relationship. A little bit of jealosy means she cares. But this girl is taking it over the top. You need room for your self in a relation ship and if she wont let you have that why are you even considering marrying her. I have been with my girl friend for about a year and a half now, we have had our ups and downs. But not once have i ever said that i would marry her just to calm her down.
tapina
Looks more like she is insecure.

Anyway, I suggest that you get down with her and communicate with her regarding her insecurities. Seek to understand how these emotions are triggered. Is it because you get too close to the girls you will be talking to, that makes her upset. You also need to let her know that is she continues behaving that way, this may hurt your relationship, as you obvioulsy live in a world with women that you talk to everyday.

If all else fails, it may be time to throw in the towel.
burntup56
Ya im pretty sure everyone has dealt with an overly jealous significant other it can be very unpleasant. It seems that as I have gotten older girls have gotten less insecure for the most part and less jealous.

I would say you should try talking to her about the issues regarding her getting mad/jealous and see if there is something you can do. I have ended a relationship before because of jealousy issue and some people just need a little more maturing regardless of how old they are.
rightclickscott
tapina wrote:
Looks more like she is insecure.

Anyway, I suggest that you get down with her and communicate with her regarding her insecurities. Seek to understand how these emotions are triggered. Is it because you get too close to the girls you will be talking to, that makes her upset. You also need to let her know that is she continues behaving that way, this may hurt your relationship, as you obvioulsy live in a world with women that you talk to everyday.

If all else fails, it may be time to throw in the towel.


Are you kidding me? You may have a vagina, but if you've dealt with the crazies as much as I have (and trust me, I have had some VERY crazy girls), then the best thing to do is exactly the opposite. It's ok to show interest, but you can't just randomly go "Honey, let's talk about our feelings." Insecure girls like that would much rather take romantic nuance over conversations about how crazy they are, even if they are with the best intentions in mind. Now, if she wants to talk about something like this, say she is the one who triggers the conversation, definitely go along with it. It's not an entirely bad idea.
James_Hicks
She's insecure. Don't even bother trying to fix that problem. Dump her and find someone else. Unless you get jealous if she talks to random guys, then you two are perfect for each other. Jealousy... what a waste.
flyfamilyguy
daljirman wrote:
It has been a while when i stopped loving girls, but i have found one beautiful young girl whom i called the girl of my dreams. How ever this girl claims to be in a real love with me and she takes much time with me and i completely trust her as i found her as a true love for me Cool . Till now we have a little problem. whenever she sees me standing with another girl she thinks that i am dating her and when i come back to her i see her difference in mood, upset and disappointed. when i try to cool her down she tells me that she is dying for me and i wouldn't care. I tell her every time that i don't have another girl that i love more than i love her. I tell her that i am even going to marry her. She tells me that she trusts me and whenever i talk to her she cools down but she still keeps getting jealous whatsoever even if i am talking to my sister.
I don't know what to do>>>

Jealousy is within those who are not confident in themselves...who are guilty of betrayal themselves (so EVERYONE must be like them!). They know that they are not honest, so they think that everyone is not honest. They see the worst of themselves in those whom they have an emotional investment.

The cure is within HER! There is NOTHING that you can say, or do that will make her act differently in the future. She is emotionally sick, and only SHE can fix it. This is NOT a person that is capable of a healthy relationship, so I strongly suggest that you RUN!
malaria1212
Is this disease?, i never heared about it.
molif
jealousy is not an issue unless you are caught cheating.. dont be jealous for nothing if you don have prove.. jealousy can be pretty tricky.. so, if you do feel jealous, ask yourself, why do you feel jealous..
fpwebs
If this was a question on how to cure jealousy for yourself then I would be able to answer it, however I can not help the situation with her. Think about it this way though.

Jealousy isn't some kind of disease that you can actually cure, but it is something that affects all of us and was intentionally supposed to be a good thing, but has not turned into a bad thing as our culture increases. How can jealousy be a good thing again? By treating jealousy as it should be: as a motivational tool.

The normal cases of jealousy that I witness results in anger and depression which is becoming more normally as motivation becomes obsolete. We humans are givin everything that we ask for so we have little respect and motivation for anything. If you can change jealousy as being productive is the ONLY way to "cure" such jealousy. Jealousy drives motivation if you have more respect for such.

If you are jealous that you see a guy with a really nice car and you want the same for yourself, instead of being angry or upset you should direct your jealousy to something productive. Meaning, if you change your jealousy to: "I'm getting a job so that Ican afford that car for myself" then you have changed the jealousy into something benificial.
blackheart
There's no cure for jealousy. She thinks you're the most amazing guy on earth, and presumes every girl you meet is going to try to steal you from her. Cos since you're so amazing, why wouldn't they?

If people other than you think she's being excessively jealous, then she could be insecure. Has a previous boyfriend cheated on her? Does she suffer from depression of any sort? etc.

Unfortunately you'll just have to put up with it, and with time she'll get more comfortable with you around other girls.
Until then, try and see it as a compliment.


(If people other than you would describe it as psycho, maybe evaluate wether she's worth putting up with the insecure behaviour. aka have you considered leaving her?).
vegi666
malaria1212 wrote:
Is this disease?, i never heared about it.





lol it sure seems like it huh? no buddy thats just how women are. They will always require alot of attention and affection, but would you rather prefer some nasty girl who partys and drinks like a whale? i thought so
cvkien
em, sound like puppy love. maybe this is her first love. so try to persuade her. anyway, love needs understanding and trust. tell her that. love won't works without understanding and trust.

so maybe you can bring your girlfriend along when u talk with your friend. hold her hand while you talk to your friend. it'll show that you still with her even u talk with other people. it just like she is more important than everything. then when ever your friend ask you question, u ask for her permission or ideas.
psycosquirrel
Girls that act like this generally have issues starting from one significant event. Was there a prior relationship in her past, where a guy left her for a close female friend? Did something like that happen to her family, or have you ever cheated on her in the past?

Just as likely, as other people have said, is that she might be jealous because you are her first. Girls are always too attached and overprotective of their first. If this is the case, you have to be a gentleman and be as respectful as possible... But remember that relationships are all about compromise. Let her know that her jealous and controlling demeanor is effecting your relationship.
ainieas
Hey its quite human to be jealous. But if you find that your gf's jealousy is affecting your relationship you guys might want to think about taking a break for sometime.
fpwebs
i tend to be extremely jealous when it comes to guys i like. i think the only thing that can be helpful in this situation is control. everyone is jealous but some people dont show it. i think that is what people should do. and people should learn to trust their partner and that would help a little bit.
Deuxansenchine
Slinky wrote:
I tend to be extremely jealous when my partner is around other guys. Its a problem I have yet to find a cure for.


Me to, I have that kind of probleme, I cannot do anything about it. But I think it was better with my last girlfriend, i had more confiance on her so I cared less if she was going out alone with her friends.

An other problem, is even after I left her, I still be very jalous, and my best way to feel better, is to stop talking to her. I want to keep in touch with her, but no way, im to stupid to make a distance in myhead. I was reading the other post, I see i'm not the only one with that kind of situation!!

Good luck every body with this sensible question!
iyepes
Jealousy is not a health feeling, it's a sign of insecurity. How could it be modified? with the help of a therapist. Rarely this kind of conducts leave by their own.

Jealousy is different to have reasons to stop trusting in someone, chatting with someone is different to receiving calls in late night and cheating in general.

Usually the jealousy person looks for an unfaithful person, so he/she can continue the eternal drama of being betrayed. Health people stay away from both kinds of people, but they usually find each other.

There's something, I don't think it falls into jealousy, but people tend to mark their "territory", If a pretty woman appears in the scene, other women grab their husbands or take their hands. I think it's instinct, to show the others who isn't available. Men usually do the same.
enricos
Is there her first relationship ?

I know a friend who dated other girls to get over his jealousy .
cavey
You should not let her react like that when you talk to other girls (even your sister?!?!).
Tell her that it is not acceptable, and that she should see a therapist for her problem.
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