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problems with the heart





Mrs_Robota
thanks for the help
Bluedoll
Mrs_Robota

It is not uncommon to have feeling for more than one person. I do not thing guilt feelings will help you, so perhaps you should not have them. You have to make decisions in life, some good, some not so good and we learn from them. I do not think you should be beat your self up over the past. The past is over but you do have the future.

I know when you are alone you can feel very sad. If people are meant to be with someone else, I believe that will happen. Just be yourself and trust your good feelings is really all we can do. Just from your writing you sound like a caring person, capable of having a loving relationship.

We do though need to stay in a relationship long enough to know if it is working and good for us. This takes time and so we must give it time. I think the longer we are in a relationship the more likely we are going to stay in it. But that is just my opinion. I know it varies from person to person.

Being alone can give us time to think, to explore ourselves and find out what it is we really want. Self improvement I think too is also a good pursuit when we are single. When the time comes that we find ourselves again in a relationship, we are more prepared to develop and enjoy it. Do you agree? The only real advice I could ever give is to trust your heart and you will find love again.

hope this helps you some

Blue
deanhills
Mrs_Robota wrote:
I would like an advice... in those things i am not expert... I was in a "relationship" about 4 years, with ups and downs but all right, I knew this man only by internet and when i met with him the first time, he loves me more... we had a good time together.... but in this same moment I felll in love with another... this other man is 30 years more old than me but he showed interest for me too... despite I really wanted to accept him I rejected... because i tried to be sincere and loyal... but now i feel me guilty... I really love him and make me so sad that I lost him forever... now I "finished" with my boyfriend.. I am alone again... don't know, I think i made a mistake, maybe I was right in refuse to this new love because there were not future, just an affair or an utopic dream... but the truth of my feelings make me feel guilty enough for end with the man that was loving me for many years... I always thought that I could love him all life, but now I am not sure... I still feel something for him.. but I can't avoid of think in the other... both of them live in the same country very far from me... I feel me sad.


Dear Mrs. Robota. If there is one thing that is for certain it is that life changes all the time. Today's love could be tomorrow's disappointment, and today's disappointment tomorrow's love. We need to keep moving all the time and it would appear that you are looking backwards and seem to be frozen in time, thinking more about what has happened in the past instead of being excited about the best that is yet to come! So many people to meet yet. You need to be out and about, doing exciting things for yourself and meeting and mixing with people. Both relationships were good for the moments that they were alive in. Even if you would move back to them, you will find that they will not be the same, they will be different. So why not rather start fresh. Life is full of adventures still waiting to happen. And one thing is for sure - people come - people go.
cod3rbro
Mrs_Robota wrote:
this other man is 30 years more old than me but he showed interest for me too... .

Too old, I think he is a predator
Mrs_Robota
cod3rbro wrote:

Too old, I think he is a predator


no, he is a gentleman


thanks for your advices... I think I was very sensible this day.... is not common in me to talk about those things, even sometimes I prefer to hide my feelings... actually i was one of these persons that never believe in love... I am alone again and anyway I think this is not for me
deanhills
Mrs_Robota wrote:

thanks for your advices... I think I was very sensible this day.... is not common in me to talk about those things, even sometimes I prefer to hide my feelings... . actually i was one of these persons that never believe in love... I am alone again and anyway I think this is not for me


No need to apologize Mrs Robota. All of us are in the same way. And you are particularly brave saying what is worrying you and I admire you for it. I think all of us think we are alone, but we could never be. It is all in our thinking. Perhaps you need to try and share your thoughts with people you trust in your life. Or if there are none that you can trust enough, or the relationships were of the kind that you cannot talk freely about to people you know, you can talk to a professional. I sometimes think guilt and shame are bedfellows. And talking to a therapist is almost the same as in this forum. You can say everything you want and that is in total confidence. You will not be judged. A good therapist will help you come to the realization in a professional way that you are OK. And it is only your thinking that needs to change.
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