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Asking for advice





medievalman26
Ok, I like a girl, really really like her. I am pretty certain that she has no idea that I do, and has no interest in me. I am struggling with asking her out on a date. Anyone have any constructive advice for me?
Sejanus
The most important thing is that you do it. Think about it this way: Whats the worst thing to happen? She'll say no, and you wont get a date. So in the end, the worst case of asking her will get you the same result as not asking her. Besides, you wont aks yourself "what if" questions afterwards.
apple
What does 'date' mean? Does it mean just hang out or something more intimate? You could always invite her to see a movie or something with a group.
daljirman
I am kind of bold person, though boldness may screw something up sometimes. But, I know, many guys are different.

There is a simple way to approach a girl. Simply is to make her feel special. Just be kind for her, invite her with small home parties, take her to movies. Finally, she will love you before you tell her that you are interested in her but she will not tell you that she loves you, it is you that will ask her that you want to switch the normal friendship to Boyfriend/Girlfriend life. Use boldness to tell spell those words over her and if she rejects, do not worry, she will accept it sometime in the future as you keep telling her that you do love her excessively.
selevan
Just tell her what you feel, i know it could be painfull but... dont waste time about just thinking about it, do move ! Wink

Or if you arent confident.. try to interest her by yours hobby, humour etc., read David DeAngelo books.
cavey
If she has no interest in you, it may be because you haven't showed her what an interesting guy you are! Start giving her compliment, and be kind to her, in a way that do not make her embarassed or uncomfortable.

Do not wait several month before you tell her that you like her. Or else someone else might win her :)

Good luck!
ainieas
medievalman26 wrote:
Ok, I like a girl, really really like her. I am pretty certain that she has no idea that I do, and has no interest in me. I am struggling with asking her out on a date. Anyone have any constructive advice for me?


Jump on her in a dark alley- that should set the things in motion! Cool
Sorry....couldn't resist! Laughing

I agree with what everyone has said. You gotta ask her out. But it usually works if you are already acquainted. In case you guys aren't in the same friend circle then try to get someone to introduce you guys. Then spend a week or so with hi-hellos and shy smiles and THEN you can go ahead and ask her out. It worked almost everytime I tried it. And yeah....GOOD LUCK!
deanhills
medievalman26 wrote:
Ok, I like a girl, really really like her. I am pretty certain that she has no idea that I do, and has no interest in me. I am struggling with asking her out on a date. Anyone have any constructive advice for me?


Power of positive thinking and visualization. Keep on imagining for one week straight that you are asking her and she is very happy to go out with you. This is to boost your self-confidence. Just imagine if someone should come to you and ask you for a date when they are less than confident in themselves? So once you have programmed yourself, I will do it as subtle as possible. Perhaps a phone call will be the best, so that in the event that she is not interested, that neither of you will really loose face. Try and make it as casual as possible, not a big deal, as when one shows intense interest from the bat on, this can also be a off-putting. Casual can be like a game of tennis, or some sport if you have that in common, or attending a game, something on which both of you can focus without being too much in one another's faces. Play it cool and don't appear too eager in the beginning. Will work out if it is meant to be, i.e. mutual chemistry.
cod3rbro
If you like a girl, don't even think to hurt her, trust me if you lost her you will cry
my_love
cod3rbro wrote:
If you like a girl, don't even think to hurt her, trust me if you lost her you will cry

I agree..I just thought that the first step to love is to like...you like her so much so that you wanted to treasure her...treasure not posses alright? that's two different thing..anyways..just make a light conversation and good laugh with her will do a start. goodluck Wink
James_Hicks
Just do it. All you can do is feel the full-blunt force of rejection if she denies you. But think of it this way, if you don't ask then you won't know so what's the big deal? Get yourself in line and just ask her out. Don't be nervous. Just do it. If a no comes out then you at least know that there was never a chance.

I have no good lines to offer because the best ones are simple. "Hey, I like you a lot and want you to sew my seeds to make me an army of minions to tend to my crops." It shows that you want to settle, have a family, and that you love making children.

If that's not your/her thing, then "Hey, I like you a lot. I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. We could practice safe sex for the long term goal of making me an army of soldiers to tend to my crops when we are both ready for such a responsibility."

She'll like your courage for askin' but probably question you if you're all nervous. Confidence goes a long way. Trust me. I use to not have it and got nowhere. Had to become a rebel to get anywhere and have had a great run with a number of ladies ever since.
medievalman26
thanks for so much great advice. I forgot to mention one little detail...I have known her, and been friends with her for the past 13 years. I have grown up with her. The main issue I am having trouble with is I don't want to damage the relationship I have with her currently. That is what I truly need advice on. I am going to ask her out in about 2 weeks. Oh, and I define a date as any activity between the two of us, only the two of us eg a dinner, move, or stuff like that.
Satori
medievalman26 wrote:
thanks for so much great advice. I forgot to mention one little detail...I have known her, and been friends with her for the past 13 years. I have grown up with her. The main issue I am having trouble with is I don't want to damage the relationship I have with her currently. That is what I truly need advice on. I am going to ask her out in about 2 weeks. Oh, and I define a date as any activity between the two of us, only the two of us eg a dinner, move, or stuff like that.


If the two of you are truly good friends, then even if you do ask her out and she turns you down, you both should be able to easily move past it. If you ask her confidently and she turns you down, don't let it phase you. The worst thing you could do is get all hurt and emotional just cause she turned you down. That would certainly cause some awkwardness in your friendship afterwards. Be ready for her to turn you down...and then you'll be able to glide right past that and move on as if nothing had happened, or you'll be pleasantly surprised when she accepts. Either way, make a choice, act confidently, and have no regrets.
ssthanapati
Just ask her???? Wats so much to think about it.... U are not gonna make it any better by not asking
apple
ahhhhhhh now I have a better picture of the situation.

I have a friend and after 16 years of only friends we decided to go out one night, then we got to talking and he said he'd always hoped that one day I'd feel more than 'friends' about him.

We had a laugh and I told him..."all you had to do was ask, dummy"!!!

that did not work out but we are still great friends Smile

so just ask her love
Aredon
What you fear is that you're not enough to please her. You can start off by racking in the cash and heading down to the gym. Once you have those two down, you should be comfortable with any woman you desire.

medievalman26 wrote:
thanks for so much great advice. I forgot to mention one little detail...I have known her, and been friends with her for the past 13 years. I have grown up with her. The main issue I am having trouble with is I don't want to damage the relationship I have with her currently. That is what I truly need advice on. I am going to ask her out in about 2 weeks. Oh, and I define a date as any activity between the two of us, only the two of us eg a dinner, move, or stuff like that.


I still stick with my advice since those two are huge in defining the mature as mature even if their personality isn't.
Satori
Aredon wrote:
What you fear is that you're not enough to please her. You can start off by racking in the cash and heading down to the gym. Once you have those two down, you should be comfortable with any woman you desire.

I still stick with my advice since those two are huge in defining the mature as mature even if their personality isn't.


I would have to add to these, learn to dance Smile And I would in fact place it above the others. Doing so does wonders for your confidence level (I'm speaking completely from my own experience.) I'm neither raking in the money nor can I remember the last time I lifted anything heavy. But I will say I'm a decent dancer, after having done so twice a week for over 5 years. I think the biggest thing though is the confidence. I used to be pretty shy. Now you wouldn't find anyone who'd describe me that way. And confidence does wonders when you're trying to attract the opposite sex.

Find a dance you enjoy (mine happens to be swing and blues) and find somewhere to learn near you and then do it! It may take some time, but the payoff is well worth it! I didn't start dancing to pick up girls though...I just got hooked and love it so much. But I will say, as an added bonus, it's become much easier to pick up girls Smile
pmehta51
Let her know that you like her, Wait for reply
rightclickscott
James_Hicks wrote:
Just do it. All you can do is feel the full-blunt force of rejection if she denies you. But think of it this way, if you don't ask then you won't know so what's the big deal? Get yourself in line and just ask her out. Don't be nervous. Just do it. If a no comes out then you at least know that there was never a chance.

I have no good lines to offer because the best ones are simple. "Hey, I like you a lot and want you to sew my seeds to make me an army of minions to tend to my crops." It shows that you want to settle, have a family, and that you love making children.

If that's not your/her thing, then "Hey, I like you a lot. I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. We could practice safe sex for the long term goal of making me an army of soldiers to tend to my crops when we are both ready for such a responsibility."

She'll like your courage for askin' but probably question you if you're all nervous. Confidence goes a long way. Trust me. I use to not have it and got nowhere. Had to become a rebel to get anywhere and have had a great run with a number of ladies ever since.


I'm really startin' to like this guy. He's pretty darn funny!

medievalman26 wrote:
thanks for so much great advice. I forgot to mention one little detail...I have known her, and been friends with her for the past 13 years. I have grown up with her. The main issue I am having trouble with is I don't want to damage the relationship I have with her currently. That is what I truly need advice on. I am going to ask her out in about 2 weeks. Oh, and I define a date as any activity between the two of us, only the two of us eg a dinner, move, or stuff like that.


Ahh, the Just Friends zone. It's haunted people for so long, when it should put you in a good position, she may see you as completely asexual. Normally asking her out won't work. You need to do something to sweep her off her feet. Chances are, there are other guys she's more interested in, but never fear! You can still take her out somewhere, just the two of you, as friends. Make sure it's a very fancy restaurant, girls dig that kind of stuff. A movie won't work here, since it's too cliche. You have to do something original. If you live by a river or any other body of water, take her our there late at night to watch the stars. The most romance comes from natural places. If the two of you can find a secluded area at night, somewhere outside, then you've got the perfect time to ask her out. Say something cute like "You know, I really like you." Make sure you don't make it so subtle. Usually, after a really awesome night like that, she's bound to say something like "I really like you too." At the least, you'll get a maybe. Just remember, though, it depends more on the girl than the relationship you have with her.
tapina
Just be yourself. Ask her out. It's an advantage that you two are friends so, you sort of knows her ineterests, so you shouldn't have any problems knowing what, and where she wants to go.
Bluedoll
Defuse the present feelings by removing the tension of being indecisive. Maybe you can talk to her a little, give her time to get to know you, find out what you have in common or don't. What you like to talk about when around each other. Explore interests a little before going out on a date. You might enjoy a date move if you do a little comfort zone exploration. Hope that helps yah!
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