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Trust issues.. Controlling.. Messed Up..





Zuex
I can't trust my girlfriend, and i know i'm being too controlling.
We've been together for 1 year and 10 months, it feels like a marriage.
I'm 15 and she's 16.

I don't like her dressing up too openly, i don't like her talking to certain boys, i don't like her going out without letting me know who with, where, how long for etc. Most reasons for this is by the way i was brought up, and possibly the fact that i have an islamic background.

She tries her hardest to not do most of that, yet i still can't trust her. Honestly, i can't trust no one, i've been let down too much in my short life to trust another person, espically a female..

My GCSE's are getting closer by the hour, and i want to sort myself out. I've got so much pressure on me, i've got to see my girlfriend every weekend, leaving no time to study or learn scripting. I want to make something of myself, don't want to be a office worker. I know that school education isn't exactly going to get me that.. Yes i'll have qualifications, but it takes real experience/knowledge to become a successful rich business man. So i want to start from now by learning as much as possible. I just need to start making money for myself seeing as my parents aren't really giving me anything for about 2 years now. To make matters worse, i can hardly make a photoshop image without spending an hour for something simple, with 192mb of RAM im not suprised. Everything's just messed up in my life right now..
Bikerman
Well, if you want the advice of a middle-aged bloke - forget the romance for the moment.
It sounds to me like you have enough going on in your life without complicating it. Settling down with another person is best done when you are sure of who you are - then you are able to share that with someone else. Until that point you will have problems. It is not fair to your girlfriend to expect her to deal with your problems in sorting your identity out. What you are going through is perfectly normal (although I'm sure that hearing that from an 'oldie' doesn't necessarily ring true to you).
Life is a one-shot thing, so get yourself sorted out first and only then should you think about sharing your life with someone else.
It might take another few years - it certainly did for me.
Zuex
Thanks alot, that really made alot of sense to me, but the problem now is, how am i supposed to end a relationship thats lasted so long and i love her? Apart from that, your advice is very understandable.

Thanks alot ~ Zuex
TiffanyTerrorXO
yeah i am the same way i cant trust my boyfriend.
when hes around girls when im not around i absolutely freak out.
but i know that if i want things to work out i have to let him of the "leash".
or else he will start to get annoyed and possibly leave me.

but he understands how i feel.
which is a good thing,
because he tells me everything that goes on when im not around.
and im actually starting to trust him A LOT more.
Flarkis
You could always do what I'm doing. Just leave your girlfriend for a year. That's a true test of trust. I'm going to Germany to study for a year and we agreed we don't want to break up. But both her and i are fairly protective. So we will see what happens.
Zuex
A year? My friend, you truely are brave, i could not survive a year without seeing my girlfriend. You should really think about what your doing, if you truely love this girl, and you are looking to have a future with her, i think you'll be making a huge mistake. Even the strongest of relationships could get damaged. Well thats my opinion anyway, i hope (if your going ahead with Germany) that you and your girlfriend will still be together after the period, and it all works out Wink.

TiffanyTerrorXO wrote:
yeah i am the same way i cant trust my boyfriend.
when hes around girls when im not around i absolutely freak out.
but i know that if i want things to work out i have to let him of the "leash".
or else he will start to get annoyed and possibly leave me.

but he understands how i feel.
which is a good thing,
because he tells me everything that goes on when im not around.
and im actually starting to trust him A LOT more.


Me and my girlfriend are like that, we both kinda got each other on "leash" we tell each other everything that goes on, if im talking to a girl, or if she's talking to a boy. We both understand why, and its simply because we love each other, and at our age, their's plenty of sluts, and plenty of pricks. If we didn't have this "leash" we couldn't of lasted this long, and i know relationships should be about trust, but we'll get there soon.
c'tair
Well, me and my girlfriend both have some trust issues, she's jealous and nervous about me being with certain girls, Im nervous with her being around some other people, but we know of this and both know what would happen if the worst happened, and since I truely love her, Im showing her that I can be around other girls but not flirt or even fool around with them, because she is all that matters. And even though Im upset by her sometimes, I try very hard from doing anything thatm ight seem like controlling her, because I believe that to be one of the worst things to do to another person, especially somebody who you love dearly.
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