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This is hard..





TiffanyTerrorXO
Okay so my boy friend is really nice.
my parent like him and thats all fine.
but his past isn't too fine.
i guess his ex girlfriend(his first girlfriend, I'm like only his second one.)
turned him in for rape.
but he didn't do it and everyone knows he didn't,
because they never had sex she just got really mad at him for breaking up with her.

the details:
his girlfriend never liked me until him and i started dating.
well when she found out we were together.

but now she constantly wants to hug my and talk to me and just be near me.
and he said that like a year ago(its now been to years since the "rape")
she wrote him a letter saying how she was sorry and wanted to be with him again and that she still loved him.

The hard part:
well two weeks ago his ex was at the book store and i was there with my dad and she came and gave me a hug.
then when we walked out of the store i said ew and my dad said who was that and i said its [his] psychopath ex who ruined his life and said he raped her.
and all my dad said was oh.

but last night i heard my parents talking about it last night and now they are all worried that hes like going to rape me or something.
and when i told my mom the true story she didn't even really care and my dad hasn't really said anything to me about it.

but when i told my boyfriend i accidentally said something he got really mad.

{the way i think of it is at least I told my parents EARLY in the relationship, instead of some random person going up to them and saying, oh didn't he rape a girl?}
loryl
Quote:
but he didn't do it and everyone knows he didn't,
because they never had sex she just got really mad at him for breaking up with her.


There's one thing you have to be clear about: is the above belief something your boyfriend has told you so many times that you've internalized it or something you know from common knowledge (ie: mutual friends)? It's important to differentiate between the two.

Your parents are just out looking for you.

That ex of his seems rather devious... I wouldn't trust her too much.

No one involved (the ex, your bf) is completely guiltless, but anyone will twist the story to make it seem that way.
TiffanyTerrorXO
Ive been told by all my friends, his friends, his exs friends/boyfriends and his mom that it wasn't true.
and the judge even let him go because they found him not guilty.
thegoswebs
Well I believe the story, no lie since a lot of that kind of stuff happens. I've had something similair happen to me, but anyways that really sucks. Parents never really trust their son, or daughter's significant other and I really never understood why. Probably just "protection" but I guess if you can somehow prove to them that your boyfriend isn't a bad person then you may be able to convince them to like him. Since he didn't really do anything wrong it may be easier to do something like that. Well good luck on solving the problem. and I hope that things work out because being in that kind of situation really sucks and I myself hate it. Shocked
TiffanyTerrorXO
Yeah.
well my parents liked him before.
and they really didn't say they didn't like him now.
and so far they have dropped the subject,
since i explained how she is a psycho.

they just get mad if I'm laying down near him or hes laying near me.
like were going to be stupid enough to do something right there in front of them.

parents are just crazy.
ssthanapati
Give it time and let him prove to ur parents that hes not that harmful.
TiffanyTerrorXO
yeah.
well i actually think they already know that but they just wont tell me.
cavey
What did she write in the letter to your boyfriend (where she said she was sorry)? Is there any proof that she accused him for something he didn't do?
TiffanyTerrorXO
she said she was sorry and she still loved him and wanted him to wait for her when she turned seventeen.
and yeah there is proof she told on him for doing it because he is now on probation and has to go to sex offender counciling
cavey
I meant, if there was any proof that she "faked" the rape. Maybe she admitted it in the letter or something.

I can't believe that some people can ruin other peoples lives like that!
TiffanyTerrorXO
Yeah she eventually told the cops it was a lie.
but he was seventeen and she was fifteen..
and the NY law is that the legal age to have sex is seventeen and since he was but she wasnt he got busted anyway..
Arnie
And you are what age now? Parents aren't stupid, they're just concerned.
TiffanyTerrorXO
im sixteen ill be seventeen in five months...
taytay
i wonder how concerned your parents will be once you Are seventeen... lol
Flarkis
My advice:

People are stupid, just ignore her
TiffanyTerrorXO
taytay wrote:
i wonder how concerned your parents will be once you Are seventeen... lol

ha yeah i know.
yeah i told my mom last night how the legal age was seventeen,
and she almost had a heart attack.
Pochettino
they are just trying to help you ....

but ofc parents can be dumb and stupid without they realize it themself

just speak to them and really talk not cry or shit ... just a serieus conversation, that can do alot
RubySlasher
You even know it; She wants to get close to you both so she can pry you both apart and make you suffer.
It's like what loryl said, she does sound rather devious.
I've seen characters like this in shojo manga, it makes a lot of drama happen. Beware.
TiffanyTerrorXO
yeah i know what his ex is like.
she has a new boyfriend well not new they have been together since before Christmas but she is a sophomore and he is a senior that just graduated and he wants to go to college but she doesn't want him to so she has been trying to get pregnant just so he wont go.
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