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Confused lover





daljirman
Hi, ladies and gents. i want you to tell me something that made me really sick this days...
It really is something i didn't want to tell any body till it evoked my brain. it is a mystery that needs help
i had a long time relationship with a girl that i have never seen through the internet and i don't even get her face as a picture. Any how this days i started dreaming having her with me on the bed and it rally made confused and don't sleep at nights because of her. i remember her even if i am in the toilet i really fell in love with her. i believe she is as nice as a candy. although as she stated she is 6 years older than me, but i don't care about the age believe me. i didn't tell her that i fell in love with her, she respects me as a brother. what should i do......
Shocked Crying or Very sad
wumingsden
daljirman wrote:
Hi, ladies and gents. i want you to tell me something that made me really sick this days...
It really is something i didn't want to tell any body till it evoked my brain. it is a mystery that needs help
i had a long time relationship with a girl that i have never seen through the internet and i don't even get her face as a picture. Any how this days i started dreaming having her with me on the bed and it rally made confused and don't sleep at nights because of her. i remember her even if i am in the toilet i really fell in love with her. i believe she is as nice as a candy. although as she stated she is 6 years older than me, but i don't care about the age believe me. i didn't tell her that i fell in love with her, she respects me as a brother. what should i do......
Shocked Crying or Very sad



If I were you I'd get her out of my head, heart and life.

I'd also be suspicious as to why I haven't seen her even in a picture. But even then I'd still be suspicious.

The first thing you should do is find out whether she's the person she says she is. Because at this moment in time for all you know it could be a very old man, a twisted friend, etc.

If she is the person she says she is ... and the ONLY way your going to know is if you see her face on a webcam ... then tell her how you feel.
Don't freak her out completely with it though. Just tell her that you have strong feelings for her and was wondering if she may want to meet up sometime.

You might feel like you love her. And you possibly do, its not my job to judge.

But remember that you CANNOT fall in love with a computer screen. And you CAN ONLY LOVE HER FOR WHAT YOU KNOW SHE IS ... for what she has told you about herself which might not be entirely true.
ainieas
daljirman wrote:
Hi, ladies and gents. i want you to tell me something that made me really sick this days...
It really is something i didn't want to tell any body till it evoked my brain. it is a mystery that needs help
i had a long time relationship with a girl that i have never seen through the internet and i don't even get her face as a picture. Any how this days i started dreaming having her with me on the bed and it rally made confused and don't sleep at nights because of her. i remember her even if i am in the toilet i really fell in love with her. i believe she is as nice as a candy. although as she stated she is 6 years older than me, but i don't care about the age believe me. i didn't tell her that i fell in love with her, she respects me as a brother. what should i do......
Shocked Crying or Very sad


First thing first, we do not need ALL the details!

You don't care about age, what about her? Does she? She sees you as her brother, you don't. Don't you see that answer to your question lies in your post itself. Don't try to take it any further, it might all just come crashing down. Take it easy, it may seem impossible but you'll meet someone your age and things would definitely work out then. For now, get out of your infatuation.
jmlworld
Very Happy You love someone you never glanced his face. Did you hear her voice? I think NO...
Daljirman, you know the internet is not safe place these days, an old man or an old woman or 8 years old kid can pretend that s/he is one pretty and friendly lady. Do not believe in her. Just seek a real life girlfriend and try to take some time with her.
rafifaisal
Sorry to say but some people just have a complete messed up real life that they just pretend to be perfect in this great world we call Cyberspace.
That is also one of the reasons why some games offering you a life in a parallel world are so succesfull today.

My advise, find a partner through the traditional channels mate.
Look around in your social life.
mattyj
Dont listen to the people that are saying you cant fall in love over the computer...

Me and my wife met over the internet...Of course, we didnt fall in love untill we met face to face..

I think you need to get a photo of her or talk to her on the phone or something because she might just be some dirty old man....
Satori
mattyj wrote:
Dont listen to the people that are saying you cant fall in love over the computer...

Me and my wife met over the internet...Of course, we didnt fall in love untill we met face to face..

I think you need to get a photo of her or talk to her on the phone or something because she might just be some dirty old man....


Sort of a contradiction...you say basically "yes, you can fall in love over the computer" then "my wife and I met over the internet, but didn't fall in love until we actually met." Doesn't that imply you didn't fall in love over the computer? But rather, made contact over the internet and then fell in love after meeting in person?

Anyway, daljirman, how can you possibly think you're in love with someone you've never seen or met? Don't you see that you're in love with an idea? A collection of words? You have no idea who this person is, only what they claim to be. You have no inkling of whether or not they speak truth. I'm not one to say that you can't find and connect with someone online...but any feelings you have are essentially based on words that could possibly all be false.

Don't do that to yourself! You are taking a much bigger risk than you would be if you developed feelings for a person you'd actually met. There is always risk involved in relationships, but seriously...hold off on the feelings until you absolutely know that this person is who you think they are.

Just my thoughts...hope you get something useful from them!
mattyj
Satori wrote:
mattyj wrote:
Dont listen to the people that are saying you cant fall in love over the computer...

Me and my wife met over the internet...Of course, we didnt fall in love untill we met face to face..

I think you need to get a photo of her or talk to her on the phone or something because she might just be some dirty old man....


Sort of a contradiction...you say basically "yes, you can fall in love over the computer" then "my wife and I met over the internet, but didn't fall in love until we actually met." Doesn't that imply you didn't fall in love over the computer? But rather, made contact over the internet and then fell in love after meeting in person?

Anyway, daljirman, how can you possibly think you're in love with someone you've never seen or met? Don't you see that you're in love with an idea? A collection of words? You have no idea who this person is, only what they claim to be. You have no inkling of whether or not they speak truth. I'm not one to say that you can't find and connect with someone online...but any feelings you have are essentially based on words that could possibly all be false.

Don't do that to yourself! You are taking a much bigger risk than you would be if you developed feelings for a person you'd actually met. There is always risk involved in relationships, but seriously...hold off on the feelings until you absolutely know that this person is who you think they are.

Just my thoughts...hope you get something useful from them!


SOrry that did sound contradictory in a way didnt it...lol

But i still feel you CAN fall in love with someone over the internet/phone etc....But without seeing a photo or talking on the phone? probably not...
RubySlasher
Give it some time, grow up a bit. If you're having the same problem 2 years from now, you definitely need to meet her. It'll either make you forget about her, or it could start off something between you two.
daljirman
My friends all I'm saying is that i have never seen the girl but i know her friends as they told me she is the best and that is for real i am sure about that. The only problem i am having is that she is older than me 6 complete years,but she is as beautiful as a model.

Some people might think i am crazy talking about someone i have never seen in my life,but love doesn't have limits.
wumingsden
daljirman wrote:
My friends all I'm saying is that i have never seen the girl but i know her friends as they told me she is the best and that is for real i am sure about that. The only problem i am having is that she is older than me 6 complete years,but she is as beautiful as a model.

Some people might think i am crazy talking about someone i have never seen in my life,but love doesn't have limits.


Your are definitely right that love doesn't have limits .... HOWEVER. Personally I think thats restricted to things like age, sex, gender, appearance, etc. Its impossible to be in love with someone that doesn't exist.....

A friend of mine was in a similar situation. Unfortunately it turned out the girl he fell in love with was actually one of his good friends who had made the person up. There was no reason, apart from the fact she was a compulsive liar. She lied about the person he fell in love with, along with "friends" and "family" of hers. She took it to the extreme of creating this person in real life and on the internet (email accounts, myspace's, facebooks, etc) of the girl, the girls family, the girls friends. everyone.
Please don't start thinking theres absolutely no possibility. The internet is a dangerous place. Only start thinking that theres no possibility when you see her on webcam/speak on the phone, etc.

because right now, whether you like it or not, your in love with the ideas, beliefs, personality and appearance in pictures of a girl which might not exist.
Satori
wumingsden wrote:
because right now, whether you like it or not, your in love with the ideas, beliefs, personality and appearance in pictures of a girl which might not exist.


My point exactly!
wumingsden
Satori wrote:
wumingsden wrote:
because right now, whether you like it or not, your in love with the ideas, beliefs, personality and appearance in pictures of a girl which might not exist.


My point exactly!


Smile

Also:
http://uk.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUKN1541585320080515?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0&sp=true
molif
hmm.. dont waste ur time boy... seriously..
ssthanapati
get a life dude and stop dreaming Wink
nigam
I am also confused with you. How can you say that you are inlove with this woman while you haven't seen her or even a picture? Are this really happening? If I were you, asked her to for a date and let's see if you will still love her. You might not know if she is true to you or not. You might not know if she is really a girl or not. This is just a piece of my advice because you don't know to whom you are talking to.
cavey
You don't need a face or a voice to fall in love. Your use your personality while you chat or email. While it's easy to fake you are, and not show your real self in real life. It is much easier to pretend to be someone you're not online. You might have fallen in love with a psychopath, a serial killer, or even an 70 year old man. To meet this love of your life for real, might make your love disappear pretty quick... 6 years older? Well, how old are you? Its a big difference if you're 14, or if you're 34...
Bluedoll
This is my... idea! Hope it helps!


It doesn’t matter if it is someone online or your next door neighbour - by the way what is the single girl next door like? Do you know her? The same rules apply. Get your sleep, you need to use your brain, seriously. You want to communicate and be there for your lover right, who ever she will be, so you need your sleep.

After you feel better and you will feel better when you are not so confused, you will know what to do. We know love is blind and how love can be romantic. The important thing is to recognize something and then get yourself unconfused.

It is ok to feel infatuation, it is ok to feel anything. You own your feelings and no one else can tell you what or how to feel, ok. Soooooooooooooo.....

You really like or love someone online. You can leave it there. Enjoy your online time, enjoy what it gives you, providing that it is something positive of course and forget little things like age and real life for a while.

What is important when two people decide to meet in real life is some first steps. Yep, a picture or several, some details about each other, plans to meet in a public place just as a normal date and really so it is not too stressful, keep things simple. Not everyone wants to meet in real life though because once you make that decision to meet, there is no going back to the safety net or the secure environment of an online world that people do enjoy.

Even on line, people can want only a certain kind of relationship because we all have limits and some kind of value system. We are after all, real people behind a keyboard.

So my advice is to get it straight in your mind and decide where you want to go with these feelings. Yeah, time is important to us. You can look at different possibilities and act on them.

1. Stay with her as a brother and develop that relationship.
2. See if she will accept you as someone closer online.
3. Ask her what she thinks about meeting you in real life.
4. Drop the whole online thing altogether.

Now ask yourself which choice makes you feel the best and go in that direction. Take control and feel good about your life(s).

Smile
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