Hi guys, I'm just kind of newbie here, though I've adopted with the site. I think here is the place to post such a topic since its related to LOVE.
A friend of me is having a problem with his girlfriend. He is bit worried about her loyalty and he often tells me that she is cheating him. I, personally, know his GF, and she is my friend, too, and I don't see her going with other guys, and when I asked him if he saw her with another guy, he told me that he never spotted on her with another guy as he never saw her even dating another guy via phone, email, etc... The only thing he claims is that he is doubtful.
I tried to calm him down, but he's really loggerhead person and then he asks me an advice every minute!
What is your idea? What do I tell a doubtful person? Please help!
It's not your problem - it's his. He clearly has a problem with trust. You should do what all mates do for each other - speak truth. If that means telling him he is being paranoid and overly-jealous then so be it.
Just tell him to visit the psychologists, those kind of people may help him, because he seems to be unconvinced and in psychological problems.
By the way, does his gf know that he mistrusted her?
He clearly has a problem. And the problem is not his girlfriend. If he does not realize that he has a problem with trust/jealousy, he can ruin his relationship, and later his future relationships. It sounds bad to contact a psychologist, but it may be the only solution for him.
It is as obvious as the sun in the afternoon and as what everybody else has said before me, it is his problem not the girl's. The idea is, even if they continue for now, they will break up later. And your friend can't and won't keep up with her or anyone else unless he can solve this issue. Advice him to see a shrink... That's all what you can do for now, I guess...
It's call paranoia. His over protectiveness is only an act of love. Though there is not much you can do, my advice to you is that you keep telling him that there is no other guy and also, tell HIM to go find out if she's cheating. Ask him, how the heck should I know if she's cheating on you or not. If he keeps asking, I suggest you tell him that it's getting annoying and ask him to stop asking that questions regarding to her "loyalty".
I think this is a classic case of insecurity in a relationship. Possibly the girlfriend is not as in love with him as he is with her. Possibly this is just how she is, she tends to hold back of herself (my sister was a little like that). Could even be that his insecurity is causing her to withdraw. And yes I can only agree. She will no doubt completely withdraw if this behaviour continues. I think it is better not to give any advice as it may have the opposite effect. He needs to find his own way.
Yes, just ask him how he discovered that she's not in love with him. As we humans don't have a magic power to know the hidden secrets, so if his problem is only "estimate", he won't able to tell the way she cheated on him.
If he can't trust her, then maybe he just needs reassuring. Is there some way he could investigate himself?