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You've crapped on your shirt... what would you do?





datter
A hypothetical scenario;

You are presenting to the Board of Directors of a large outside firm, in a meeting that will make or break your small company. You've been called over to present your case to them, and hopefully win them over to your point of view. It's not a hostile environment, but it's not friendly either. This is a very hard to get, one shot, important meeting.

You arrive and check in with the front desk and are told to have a seat while the receptionist checks in with the boardroom, but she thinks they'll be ready for you in about five minutes. Knowing you have a short time before your presentation you ask her to take your jacket and briefcase of materials into the boardroom while you visit the facilities. She agrees and you part ways, her into the board room to announce your momentary arrival and to leave your things, and you to the washroom. Owing to your nervousness at the situation, you've felt an increasing need to visit the restroom since you got in the cab to come over here. Thankful for the opportunity you rush through it, regretting steak and beans you ate the night before. The smell is something out of a horror movie and it occurs to you how embarrassing it would have been to have any related issues during your presentation.

Unfortunately as you're cleaning yourself up, the tail of your shirt flaps down and you inadvertently wipe your ass with it as you go through the motions. Owing to your nervousness and your haste, this isn't a "light" problem. You completely just wiped your ass with the tail of your shirt such that the entire part that would tuck into your pants is now caked with something unpleasant.

Your jacket, briefcase and presentation materials are now in the board room. You have nothing with you, and there is nothing in the washroom but the standard restroom facilities. As the realization of what's happened sinks in you hear a knock on the door and you hear a voice ask if you're coming, as the Board of Directors are waiting.

What do you do?
Relentless
Well well well, what a messy situation...

I have 2 senarios

Senario 1
I would take my shirt off and run it under cold & hot water... If all fails I will take my shirt off and proceed without my shirt...

I would have to say to the board that I had a nervouse accident in the little boys room, Explaining that whilst washing my hands the top splashed up and socked my shirt... I had to through my shirt in the bin...

If all goes to plan... one of the directors should find it laughable and ask me to continue,

Then I may have to ask for a shirt as a large company must have spare shirts laying about...

But hey! if my company is a large seller of razers then I my presentation will become a visuale presentaion of how well my products work but how nice and smooth my chest is lol

-----------------------------------------------------
I know it seem a bit wiered but was the only idea I can come up with ( i dnt really shave my chest lol)

But having wiped my arse with my shirt I think I would Sh*t myslef again...
-----------------------------------------------------


Senario 2

Climb out the small window run past the large window of the meeting room, all the way to the nearest shop , steal a shirt. and run back past the large window of the meeting room again Laughing .

-----------------------------------------------------

but still Senario 1 still seems more fun lol
rightclickscott
Is this like a text adventure game? Because I'd most likely be eaten by a grue.
missdixy
I'd probably cry.
OR laugh.
maybe both.
Blaster
I would just wash it the best i could with cold water then tuck it in. Go back and try to forget about it. If you know it is there then you will think about it making you nervous.
Insanity
This is quite an unfortunate scenario and my condolences to anyone this has actually happened to. Best bet would be just to wash it off as best you can with soap and water. This SHOULD get most of it out.
datter
Insanity wrote:
This is quite an unfortunate scenario and my condolences to anyone this has actually happened to. Best bet would be just to wash it off as best you can with soap and water. This SHOULD get most of it out.


It is pretty unfortunate and that's the point really. It's from an old discussion involving putting yourself in an uncomfortable, and near impossibly difficult situation to give consideration as to how you'd cope with it. The one above it admittedly pretty silly, but at the same time it's basic enough where people seem to be able to put themselves in the role and think... oh dear... what would I do.

Funny thing is I've posted this same thing elsewhere and some people got very upset about the entire thing. Smile
Ghost Rider103
I agree with the others, I would probably just try to wash it my best with just soap and water, then tuck it away.

This would be a very hard situation espicaly if it were really happening.
Agent ME
Do best to clean it off, but then my clothes are wet, so I'd quietly use my cellphone to call my secretary or someone and tell them to bring me a jacket.
Relentless
Agent ME wrote:
Do best to clean it off, but then my clothes are wet, so I'd quietly use my cellphone to call my secretary or someone and tell them to bring me a jacket.


Considering you don't have a cell phone as all your stuff is in your brief case which is with the receptionist...

datter wrote:
you ask her to take your jacket and briefcase of materials into the boardroom while you visit the facilities.

So...
carlokes
Hi there,

First of all i would freak out lol.
Then I would consider tearing the part of the shirt that would be crapped to simulate an accident with the door of the bathroom and i would hurry to the Meeting and wear my jacket as soon as possible.

Stay Cool.
friuser
Lol.

I don't really get this because when I buy shirts they are never that low that I would ever be able to "wipe" it on my ass. Also if you ever did laundry you should know that it's not a stain that is not removable so it should be easy to wash over the faucet. Unless theres blood which I would recommend you visiting the doctor.

There should also be like a hand dryer which with a firm twist and a minute or two hovering it should be relatively dry. Furthermore it should not be difficult at all to tuck up your pants because it's that flexible to hide any lower portion that is wet.
cLean
Sense its the part you tuck in, I would cut that part off and go about my buisness
Vladalf
Pretty embarissing situation. I would probably wash it and if it looks... weird, I would pull that part under the pants. This is a hilarious question lol.
-Vladalf
apple
Oh my!
now I wanna walk with spare clothes every time I have something important to do.

I'd try to clean if off like most everyone else said.

I being a woman and all don't think my shirt would be long enough to reach my butt...lol.
I believe I got spared the embarrassment!
Nameless
rightclickscott wrote:
Is this like a text adventure game? Because I'd most likely be eaten by a grue.


Code:
Oops! You've crapped your shirt.
> i
You have a pair of pants (worn) and a shirt (worn).
> examine shirt
Your shirt is overly long and crapped.
> Flush toilet
You conclude your business without further problems.
> Look
You are in a bathroom, complete with cubicals, sinks, paper towel dispensers, a bin, and a small window letting light in. There is an exit to the East.
> Open window
The small window is locked.
> Smash window
Your feeble efforts bounce off the window.
> use sink
You turn the taps on and water beings pouring.
> wash shirt
You take off your shirt and attempt to clean it, but a foul smell remains.
> take paper towel
You take a sheet of paper towel.
> dry shirt
Your shirt is now dry, but a foul smell remains.
> hint
Hints have been disabled for this game.
> crap
Yes, that's rather your problem isn't it?
> STFU
What's a 'STFU'?
> ...
What's a '...'?
> Look in bin
You look through the bin and find a key hidden in the bottom! [Your score has gone up by 2 points.]
> unlock window with key
The key matches the window and it slides open.
> crawl out window
You crawl out the window and congratulate yourself on your escape. Then you remember you're on the eighteen floor. You fall to your death.
GAME OVER. You scored 34 out of a possible 182 points. Restart, restore or quit?
> quit
datter
LOL.. dude you should get about 100 Frihost points for that. Hilarious. Very Happy Very Happy

EDIT: Done. Wink
apple
lol @ nameless
DjMilez
Nameless wrote:
rightclickscott wrote:
Is this like a text adventure game? Because I'd most likely be eaten by a grue.


Code:
Oops! You've crapped your shirt.
> i
You have a pair of pants (worn) and a shirt (worn).
> examine shirt
Your shirt is overly long and crapped.
> Flush toilet
You conclude your business without further problems.
> Look
You are in a bathroom, complete with cubicals, sinks, paper towel dispensers, a bin, and a small window letting light in. There is an exit to the East.
> Open window
The small window is locked.
> Smash window
Your feeble efforts bounce off the window.
> use sink
You turn the taps on and water beings pouring.
> wash shirt
You take off your shirt and attempt to clean it, but a foul smell remains.
> take paper towel
You take a sheet of paper towel.
> dry shirt
Your shirt is now dry, but a foul smell remains.
> hint
Hints have been disabled for this game.
> crap
Yes, that's rather your problem isn't it?
> STFU
What's a 'STFU'?
> ...
What's a '...'?
> Look in bin
You look through the bin and find a key hidden in the bottom! [Your score has gone up by 2 points.]
> unlock window with key
The key matches the window and it slides open.
> crawl out window
You crawl out the window and congratulate yourself on your escape. Then you remember you're on the eighteen floor. You fall to your death.
GAME OVER. You scored 34 out of a possible 182 points. Restart, restore or quit?
> quit


I lol'd at that.

20 FRIH$ for you.
Bluedoll
This is one of those things that happen that you can do something about. You respond to the person that summons you with a friendly, "I will be there in a moment thank you."

If you can you lock the door or if someone comes in totally ignore that person and if required ask them to leave you alone. You compose yourself and take the time. You are going to be late. There is nothing you can do about this so why fret about it. When you arrive late you can offer a quick apology and go right into you presentation. For now however you switch to innovative mode. Whip off your shirt and rinse off the substance. Seek out soap and completely wash out the remaining smell from the soiled fabric only not the entire shirt. Then dry completely. Go with composer to your meeting and be successful even in the face of adversity, smile.

If the bathroom does not have working components such as soap (use a disinfectant if you have to and rinse thoroughly) or dry with towels. If none of this is possible you have no option to make a run for it into a store with a dress changing room and buy something.

You are much better off to miss your meeting than to make a mess of it.
Indyan
ewww.. this is quite a goowy situation.
Obviously I the first thing I would do is to wash off the undesirable material. And then I would try to tuck the shirt in to hide the wet part. If that is not sufficient then I would sneak out and grab a coat or something similar from somewhere to hide my shirt.

Anyway, how the heck did you concot such a situation? Must say this is one of the most interesting threads I have seen in the general chat section.
lagoon
Hmmm... I would probably just wash it off, and then dry it with the hand drier. At this point, I would go in and say to the board of directors that I had an extremely important call, and that I had to take it. Say that the factory had a big accident or something.
James_Hicks
I would attempt to wash it off. I would yell at the person knocking for some damn privacy. If it were a skyscraper, I might just jump out the window and have the blame for getting the crap scared out of me on my descent. At least then I could avoid humiliation and point the blame on my relaxed bowels.
TVme
I wouldn't try to hide a thing. I'd walk right in with every bit of courage... I'd look around and say "Ladies and gentleman, You granted me this opportunity because you like my vision. When I arrived here today I was so impressed - I didn't know whether to crap or go blind. My choice was obvious" I'd confidently take of my shirt, wad it up and throw it in the trash. I would continue with my amazing presentation without a bead of sweat. When you're right confidence always comes through.

- That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
KronikSindrome
seriously - only the tails of a shirt would reach that far
anyway - you could just TUCK that shit in and forget about it, or yeah,
wash it in the sink and pretend you spilled coffee -- or something-

but I mean what kinda jerk off would actually wipe their ass with their shirt ---

if you're that unobservant you don't deserve to make my tacos
at taco bell let alone be some buisness man at a confrence -
Worldcraft101
I would walk proudly into the room of board directors as the bathe in the stench of my shit stained shirt
PatTheGreat42
I'd totally do it shirtless. That's manly. Damn manly. Chest hair manly.
Thumpercats
Easy,

I would take the shirt off, and then wash it in the sink. It would be a heptic time, as I would probably be nervous enough about presenting the case. Worst case scenerio, people just look around for where the smell is coming from. Heck, if that actually did happen to me, and I couldn't get the shit off, I would stat the presentation by making a joke about it. Come on, how rare would that happen? Really?
deanhills
I would very carefully take the shirt off. Really carefully, as of course chances are that this can get worse if you do not watch out. Then do a carefully cleaning job with soap and water. Cold water though. Hopefully there will be soap. And if yes the soap will at least get rid of some of the stench. Once everything is clean I will tuck the shirt in normally and pretend as though nothing has happened. When I get in the Board Room I will put the jacket on as normal, as that would be the diplomatic thing to do anyway. Laughing
Josso
Hahaha, I think they should have implemented some "crapped on your shirt" scenarios into Zork.
watersoul
Haha! Oh my gosh that story really did make me laugh!!! Did this really happen to someone? Probably somewhere I would imagine.
Right, what would I do, probably just run away I reckon, there's no way in the world I could enter a boardroom with that on me! Such a crazy scenario, I hope to God that never ever happens to me! Laughing
tony
lol - yeah, I love the game text :p

As for the answer, I would just clean it off as best I could in a few seconds and then tuck it in.
j_f_k
hhm phoneing someone for help- climbing out to the shop is not an option you have no time.

wash shirt as best as you can smearing all the soap you can find onto shirt to hide the smell. dry with the blow drier. tuck shirt in. if s**t stains are visible then don jacket and or be concsoius never to have back to your audience so that they can't see.

do presentation as if nothing has happened (think Oof Jim Carey's dishevelled look in liar liar during the middle of the courtroom scene) and hope for the best. Odds on no one on the board will say anything becase they don't want to seem trivial and/or possibly think you did this on purpose and are laying a trap for them to make them look silly. (you wish it were true) so you'll get away with it.
guissmo
Aw. I thought it was some story about someone actually crapping on their shirt. Sad
Disappointment!
[FuN]goku
rightclickscott wrote:
Is this like a text adventure game? Because I'd most likely be eaten by a grue.

I shall smite you with my +2 Mace Razz
PatTheGreat42
I would leave my shirt behind and show off my beautiful pectoral muscles. Rah.
Zombie
if i crapped on my shirt? wow I dont know. I would probably shoot myself for being so stupid. If someone else crapped on my shirt i would run home and take a shower
soljarag
ha... umm.. I wonder how you came up with this topic Smile

thats a pretty messed up situation, if this did NOT happen to you, then you have a really twisted and messed up mind Smile

I would probably first throw up in the toilet (i can't handle gross stuff) .... end up with puke on my pants and in the floor... slip on the puke.. hit my head on the toilet

Then when they find me passed out laying in puke and crap... claim I was mugged!
Starchance
cry. T_T
thejam
dawm! thats a shitty situation.. Although this is fictional, these things always seem to happen in the wrong time indeed. hahaha any experience with this situation? Wink
Anyway, I think i'll wash it as much as possible, tuck it in my pants, excuse me in front of the board, and try to get another shirt ASAP..
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