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Religion vs. Relationship





Satori
Sad but true...the girl I've been dating for a relatively short time has told me it will NEVER work out because of our differences in beliefs. Here's what it boils down to:

I don't belong to any organized religion, but consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe there is a greater force in this universe (call it god if you will) and I believe that our ultimate purpose on this planet is to live our lives with love. When you do so, you bring the greatest amount of joy to yourself and those around you. To me, there is no greater purpose. If there is an afterlife, (which I really can't say one way or the other if there is,) living a life of love will bring you the best results in the afterlife. I can see the good in all religions, as well as the not so good. I accept all spiritual truths taught by any of the great spiritual leaders.

She is Christian, more or less. She believes that the bible is the most accurate historical/religious text available. She believes in a heaven and a hell. She believes that love and happiness are great and definitely worth striving for, but ultimately it's your "relationship with god and Jesus" that will determine where you go after you die.

She has basically told me it would never work because she could never love someone who she was unsure would be with her in the afterlife.

I do like this girl a lot, despite our relatively short relationship. She's younger than me, but mature for her age. She's beautiful and a fabulous dancer (something we both spend a *lot* of time doing.) She's great with kids (having 3 younger siblings and having worked as a nanny at least a couple times in the past.) She has a wonderful sense of humor. She has a lot of great qualities that I really find attractive. I can see the possibility of us having a serious, meaningful relationship that could lead to a life of happiness together.

It's really painful for me to think that the only thing keeping us apart is religion. I can completely accept and support her beliefs, even if I may not choose to agree with them. It's ok with me for us to have different beliefs, but it seems it isn't ok for her. And I think her biggest problem is her not knowing that I'll be up there in heaven after we die. I know for a fact that *IF* there's a heaven and a hell, I'll be in heaven because of my actions in this life. I have no fear of ending up in hell, if it even exists.

So I'd like all of your opinions. Do you think there's any way it *could* work? Do you think there's any way for her to accept me as I am? Do you think there's a way to sooth her fear of me not being with her after death? Do you think it's worth it for me to try? Am I wasting my time?

Any input is greatly appreciated!
JohnCarlo
I believe you must tell your girl that Christians believed that "True Love Conquers All". In Love, Religion must not draw a line.

Try sharing this bible passage to your girl:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Shewolf
Well, you could always become a Christian of some kind, to make her happy. You know, on the paper, and only "partly" in your soul.
Quote:
I believe there is a greater force in this universe (call it god if you will) and I believe that our ultimate purpose on this planet is to live our lives with love. When you do so, you bring the greatest amount of joy to yourself and those around you. To me, there is no greater purpose.

I believe that's more or less the same as Jesus said a thousand times (I wonder why nobody listens), so in theory that should not be too much of a problem. But in real life it's not really that simple, right? - so I guess this is not an actual option.

It must be exhausting for her to worry about whether or not you're going to hell. Silly as it sounds, in my ears, I can understand how she's feeling.
If you think, not want, hope for, nor believe. But if you think she might be able to see past that "stuff", then it's a goal worth a lot of hard work.
And relationships are all about giving and taking, sharing, so you will anyhow have to make sacrifices. But how far are you willing to go, and how far do you think she willing to go? Listen to what she says, not only the words but everything. And try to find some sense in it.
Being in love conquers nothing, it just blindfolds us. But actual love never dies, and it can make you do the most wonderful things. They all are there for you to find.

All the best wishes!
Bluedoll
It is really great that you are finding this out now at the beginning. I share most of the belief’s that you mentioned and most of your girls belief’s too. I don’t belong to any organized religion as well but if I got into some debate over religion and was asked a yes or no question are you a Christian, I would cheerfully say yes. Sure why not Jesus is a friend of mine!

Just love the topic of religion but also recognize how differences in beliefs can be a problem in conversations. The fact that you are talking about it and her statement may indicate that there are other people involved in this. For example many families and religions denominations do not take to “outsiders” while some organizations do quite well, so consider that. If you married her for example most likely you would be talking to someone in her “church” so direct conversation there is good. The one thing you do not want is any kind of conflict now or later.

Her viewpoint must be respected as does yours. Religion, is really only what we believe, in my opinion, it is always far better to focus on the things we agree with and not what we disagree with. For your part you could consider what she wants and if it would be acceptable to you. She may want you to enter with her, like meeting with her Christen friends in some capacity? How do you feel about that? Be honest now and you will never regret it. I’ve always felt that going and listening to people talk about anything to do with the bible never hurt me but never wanted to feel obligated to attend organized functions.

I could quote something out of the bible but I think its far better to say something to you from my heart ok. You know, by your writing, you sound like a nice guy and you wouldn’t be writing anything if you didn’t have affection for her so . . . I think God loves people that love each other and it doesn’t hurt to say (call a higher power if you like - God wouldn’t mind) “please help these two lovers work it out, because I trust you!” in a whisper and I bet yah that will help.

Smile
Sephy22
What denomination, if you know, of Christian religions is she? Cause like Bluedoll said, some religions don't allow marriage outside of it's religion. Some (not necessarily Christian religions) even go as far as not allowing communication out side of it.
Also, some things that people look for in a relationship is someone that can help them grow in their faith. So maybe you could even think about becoming a member, there's usually some classes that you can take, just to learn about it, and if you accept it's teachings, join it. That way it would remove any religious boundaries. But don't only join it for her, cause if you don't accept all it's teachings it could eventually ruin any chances with her.

Since she likes the Bible so much, she should probably realize that there's a LOT about love in it.
When Jesus came He taught the new Law, love thy God with all thine heart, and love thy neighbor as thyself.
Love is the fulfillment of the Law.

But if you truly love her, and her you, then I believe you were meant to be together. For all we know, it could be God's will that your together so that she can bring you to know, love, and serve Him.
I believe in the afterlife, Heaven and Hell, Paradise and a place of damnation. And at the end of the world there will only be one of the three greatest virtues(Faith, Hope, and Love), Love, which is the greatest, cause it will last for all eternity.
For Faith is believing in something unseen, hope is the desire for a future good, when we see God face to face, we will have no more Faith(cause He's no longer unseen), and there is no future past eternity(therefore one can't hope). Hence there will only be love.

lol, so I don't know if I made any sense to you. I know whatever happens will happen for the better. But I wish you the best of luck.
Coen
If you love her so much, why not become a christian? That's what I would do. I am an atheist myself but if I was to fall in love with a religious girl that told me we couldn't be together because of religion, I'd probably turn christian so I could be with her. I think love is way more important then religion.
apple
Sephy22 asked an important question....What denomination, if you know, of Christian religions is she?

Let me speak from a personal stand point.
Most Christians and other organized religions (as you wonderfully phrased it) are conditioned by the doctrines/teachings they sit under.
They believe everything to the point that they feel to deviate from it is to displease god and be eternally condemned.

I will not even suggest that you convert to christianity in order to be with her. The end result of that is failure. Cause I think if you follow any organized religion then you do it of free will and because you believe (at least a bit) what they are teaching.

I would like to tell you that things will be well and that if you convert to be with her, birds will sing etc etc...but I would be lying. The biggest mistake you can make is doing it to be with her.

If she loves you, truly loves you then she will explain the ins and outs and clearly show you from her religious stand point why there is no future for you two.

That's just my 2 cents.
ladybugzox
wow.
In my opinion, this girl isn't worth your time if she wont be with someone if they're not of the same faith as you. I, like your girlfriend, consider myself Christian but i will not discriminate to other people who do not share the same beliefs as I do. My own boyfriend, is nt of the same faith as I am and we plan to share our lives together. We do not allow our religous views to get in the way, because when it boils down, we have the same BASIC beliefs and the same morals, and that is whats most important. Our parents do not share the same view as we do on the relationship, but that hasnt stood in our way. If the girl really loves and/or cares about you, religion shouldnt matter. BUT.. to some people it really does.
Either way, goodluck bud! if this one doesnt turn out, perhaps the next one will. regardless, you will find someone you connect with perfectly, it just takes time! Laughing
iyepes
Having different beliefs is an issue to me. If I'm thinking about long term relationships, what would you do when you want to raise children? it could become into an argument.

I really have desisted on men who don't share my beliefs. It's enough to me handling with the rest, to put my faith in the middle.
Coen
ladybugzox is right, religious beliefs don't have to spoil your relationships. Your girlfriend says she might not be able to see you in the afterlife. There might not even be an afterlife and even if there is she isn't dead and nor are you. I'd focus on her life here on earth first before thinking about the one after you're dead. Religion doesn't have to be an issue if you truely love eachother. And as I said before, if it means that much to her and you truley love her you could always consider to convert into some type of christianity as you write you do believe in a god or some force and you believe you should live your life with love.
Satori
Thanks everyone for all of your advice. Sadly, it doesn't seem that any of it will do any good Sad She has very, very clearly stated that it will never work. She has even gone so far as to tell me just last night "this isn't what I want." This isn't what she was telling me before. I think she's realized that the only way I'll give up is if she tells me just that...because if she doesn't want it, I have no chance.

The whole thing makes me very sad, because we had something that we both really enjoyed before any feelings came into play. I don't want to lose that. And it doesn't make sense to me that realizing there are feelings there is what seemed to really kill it. I don't think I'll ever understand how faith in a religion can cause someone to choose a path that causes only pain for both people. I won't ever understand how faith in a religion can cause someone to exclude someone they care about from parts of their life. None of it makes sense to me, and I don't know that it ever will. All I can do now is do my best to move on...
Coen
You could try telling her all that and see what happens. She might just realise what she's doing or question it. However, if you want to avoid more possible pain I think it'd be best to try and move on. Although that'll be hard too. One way or another, you'll get over it again in the future. It only takes time. Best of luck.
Cddhesh
Well i would like to tell story of two lovers in our village who had same problem of religion in their love.Boy was Muslim and the girl was Jain.They had strong opposition from their family.But they loved each other truly.Finally they left their own religion and both accepted Buddhism.They are living happy life.This was just a example.
Problem with you is that your girlfriend loves more, her religion then you.So she wants you to be of her religion indirectly.Its your decision now what to choose.
The-Ron-Man
Judging from your post, I'd consider you to be something like a Deist (like myself). Now, what I'm about to say isn't very politically correct, and isn't very nice, but it's what I believe to be true. Zealotry is not something that you can just "forgive" in a relationship. It's a very serious and dangerous thing when someone lets superstition rule their life and relationships. I, myself, wouldn't make any sacrifices for a person who rejects other people (in the name of Jesus, of all folk) for the ambiguous dictations of confusing scripture.
supjapscrapper
I mean if the girl is that religious that she doesn't see a future for you together, then you have one of 2 choices: either switching to her religion if that is not in contradiction with yours (I personally would never, even if I am thoroughly in love...) or you convince her to let go of her strong beliefs. If none of the previous works then just give it up, and fnd yourself another one. religious convictions are one of the most tenacious and the most profound in a human being. being weak enough to not respect them on one occasion can haunt oneself for a long time maybe for life. You my hgave a year of happines and things could come back and spoil your life both for life...
Satori
The-Ron-Man wrote:
Judging from your post, I'd consider you to be something like a Deist (like myself). Now, what I'm about to say isn't very politically correct, and isn't very nice, but it's what I believe to be true. Zealotry is not something that you can just "forgive" in a relationship. It's a very serious and dangerous thing when someone lets superstition rule their life and relationships. I, myself, wouldn't make any sacrifices for a person who rejects other people (in the name of Jesus, of all folk) for the ambiguous dictations of confusing scripture.


Well, Ron-Man, I wouldn't agree exactly with what you're saying. I can understand to some extent where you're coming from, but I guess my biggest problem would be your stating that what she's doing is something I shouldn't forgive. Though I may not agree with her beliefs, she has every right to them, just as I do to mine. It very well may not work out because of those differences, but in the end, if I can't forgive her, I only end up wronging myself. Forgiveness is absolutely one of the best things you can do for anyone, because forgiveness is only wrought from love. There is no better way to show love than with forgiveness. And being that my beliefs are what they are, I wouldn't be living the way I want to if I couldn't forgive her for what she's done. When you don't forgive, you carry around a grudge. If I couldn't forgive her, I'd always be angry about what she's done...I'd carry it with me. And to carry such a thing takes a tremendous amount of energy. It's better for me, my health, my well being, and my spiritual beliefs to forgive her. Forgiveness really is something that benefits both the forgiven, and the forgiver. I know this to be true from my own experience.

Also, I'd like to touch on your use of the word "sacrifice." To me, a sacrifice is when someone "gives something up" for someone elses benefit, often because they feel they have to, or often with the expectation of getting *something* out of it...usually some sort of satisfaction in knowing you "did the right thing." To me, this implies that in "giving something up" or "sacrificing" you actually don't want to let go of what you're giving, or you expect something in return for what you've given. When you give and feel like you're "sacrificing" you often find that later you regret it, mainly because you lost something dear to you that you were attached to in some way or another, or you didn't receive what you expected in return. That to me is "sacrifice."

I rather like to choose never to sacrifice, as I don't ever want to regret my actions. When I give to someone, I give unconditionally, knowing that whatever I'm giving is something I'm completely ok with letting go of, and I don't expect anything in return. What I've found is that when I give freely, instead of "sacrificing," I don't regret my actions. I don't regret giving this girl any of the gifts I gave to her. I don't regret giving her all the love and affection I did. I didn't "sacrifice" any of these things, but rather gave them freely and happily. If I look at it objectively, I can see that honestly, I didn't get much in return. But since I wasn't expecting anything, I was actually happy to get anything I was given. This is why I don't "sacrifice."

Again, I will reiterate that I don't agree with some of her beliefs or even some of her actions, but because I have the tools of forgiveness, giving freely without expectations, and acceptance of what is at my hands, I have no regrets at all about what happened between us. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Satori
Just thought I'd post an update on the situation for anyone who's even remotely interested Smile

After having been through some very emotional times and agreeing to be just friends, we saw each other a few times at places we normally would see each other (mainly dancing.) Things were, at best, awkward. It was hard to deal with just being friends as we had become so accustomed to having something more. To me, she felt very distant and withdrawn. She didn't seem to enjoy dancing with me, which was really hard for me, as in the past we had enjoyed such wonderful connection while dancing. So we found ourselves having another talk after dance one night. We basically said a lot of the same stuff that had already been said. We agreed that we couldn't go back to what we had, and that seemed to be the end of it. But much to my surprise, I got an email from her the next day in which she stated she wanted to "start all over." Now, this is an option neither of had either talked about or even considered (though honestly I don't know why, looking back.)

This makes me very happy. Because while we are still just friends, somehow this decision to "start over" has completely removed all of the awkwardness between us. It also has removed the feeling of rejection that I'd been feeling, which is wonderful for me. Things may never progress pass just friends again, but that's ok with me. I'm just happy that we've come to a solution that is actually working and making both of us happy again. Of course, anything can happen now, and maybe things will once again progress past friends...I have no way of knowing right now. But at least all options are open and we've been able to completely move beyond everything in the past.

I wanted to also thank everyone again who posted on this topic...I really appreciate it!
molif
even if i'm a muslim and my gf is a christian.. we don't care what world gonna look at us..

cos love is something we wanna share with, however, reality check, i wonder how we are gonna settle down.. sigh..
Coen
I am glad the both of you worked it out. Best of luck.
Satori
@ molif: Looks like you might be in a similar situation. I hope that you guys can work it out in the end...to me religion shouldn't be something that gets in the way of love. It should instead be completely supportive of it. If only everyone thought so too Smile

@ Coen: Thanks...I'm glad things seem to be worked out too. It seems that things are going ok...and might be going in the direction of more than friends again. I've realized I just have to be really careful. Pretty much the worst thing I can do right now is pressure her in any way (which has never been my intent...though my past actions did indeed make her feel pressured.)

So let's open this topic up for more discussion. Have any of you found yourself in a similar situation? Do you like someone but have differing beliefs that are causing problems? Maybe it's ok with that person, but not their parents? Let's hear it! Because I can certainly sympathize Smile
Shewolf
molif wrote:
even if i'm a muslim and my gf is a christian.. we don't care what world gonna look at us..

cos love is something we wanna share with, however, reality check, i wonder how we are gonna settle down.. sigh..

Actually, your religion states that it's okay for you to even marry a christian without her converting. Because you're both "people of the script", or something.
I find that rather nice, to tell the truth Very Happy

Satori: I am glad it worked out for you, even though it was not the way you might have hoped when you started this topic Smile
ptfrances
I'm as well glad that you relation has worked Satori. Because it''s not always the case, unfortunately

Depends a lot of the families
apple
Satori....congrats on starting over.

So how's it going?
sheedatali
Interesting topic, I have been in this situation, you like you religion but you also love the person who does not believe in same religion. It is catch 22, you have to question why base relationships on religion and how to convey this to the person you are in love with that it does not matter what my or their religion is, what matters is that we both love each other. Things will be so easy.
Coen
I thought the entire point of religion was to love. So it seems kind of stupid to demolish a relationship because of that. Only my point of view though.
c'tair
Im a non-believer, kinda hard to classify because I think it's a damn deep topic to label oneself either an agnostic or atheist so I just don't do it and wait for a few quiet days when Ill have the time to think all of it over and decide what am I.

Anyways, my girlfriend is or was a pretty strong catholic, to the point of weekly church visits and weekly confessions. For the first 2 months everything was OK, I don't give a thought to what my girlfriend believes, as long as it's healthy for her and out relationship. But one day she suddenly came to me and said we can't continue having sex once or twice a week, because it's sin, however she understands my 'man-needs' and will satisfy them... every couple of months.
Now, I love that girl dearly, but it shocked me, because in every other way she is quite liberal and doesn't give a sh*t about laws, traditions and other such stuff. I was so shocked that I couldn't believe she wasn't joking and she took it as outrage (which, bear in mind, it wasn't). That was close call to ending the whole relationship, but I managed to talk to her and say that it was shock, not outrage or anger or anything and that kinda broke her, she confessed that she feels so lost, because she doesn't see anything bad in safe sex (especially since I please her as best I can, in ANY way I can Wink ) and is just SO lost because her faith is telling her she'll go to hell for it.

Now... that broke me also, because I hate seeing her suffer, and because a faith is doing that to her it just got on my bad side. Before I was pretty tolerant, maybe had a negative view on religion, but that was over that top and now I see that it harms peoples lives.

People feel guilty of things that aren't 'evil' or of things that they haven't even done. And we all know that guilt can be pretty damn depressing. And of course, they have to atone for their non-existant sins...

But all in all we worked it out, she's more liberal about religion, Im more hostile to it Wink . Funny thing is:
Me, my girlfriend, my good friend John and his girlfriend Ann were all friends since the begining of highschool, 1.5 years ago. Now we sort of... fell in love within the group and that's how we went from friends to 'a pair of couples' Smile . Now, thing is that John and I were always the non-believers, while the girls were always the good catholics. Now John is into Buhddism philosophy and the gals.. well, they started really questioning their faith, which makes me quite content.
aames_prov356
Congrats on starting over Satori! I am glad that everything worked out for you.
Satori
apple wrote:
Satori....congrats on starting over.

So how's it going?


Funny you should ask Smile So things are going just fine. And by that I mean that I've completely lost interest in this girl. For a little while I was hoping things would lead us to get back together, but there've been some events to completely change that hope around to complete happiness that we didn't get back together.

So ever since we "started over" I made it a point to tell myself that I shouldn't wait around for her to realize what I had to offer. I made it a point to be open to other possibilities if such possibilities arose. I wasn't "actively searching" for a new girl, but I at least had my eyes open if one should come around. Now, I wouldn't say that I've really found a new girl, but in keeping my options open, I realized just how many girls are out there that I could possibly be with.

A few weekends ago I went to a huge blues dance event (swing dancing of any form is one of my passions, and has been for about 5 years now.) At this event, I probably could have had my pick of about 4 or 5 different girls (granted, I wasn't terribly interested in all but one of them.) Oddly enough, this one girl happens to be friends with my previous interest. Now, she doesn't live around here...in fact, I'm in Colorado and she's on the west coast, so there's not really any chance right now of anything serious. But to make a long story short, we connected that weekend and it really helped me see that I was just blinding myself with my previous interest.

After that weekend, I was starting to detach, but still found myself interested in the girl of this topic. That is until I find out some very interesting things about her and what had happened that weekend. One of her old guy friends who'd lived here in CO and now lives in TX was there. Apparently sparks flew between them and she's now quite enamored with him. And to make another long story short, she's been telling some of her friends some things about me that aren't exactly kind. Things like "I knew I needed to find a 'real' man" and about how I couldn't ever give her what she needed. And she joked about how I "professed my undying love to her" which isn't exactly how I'd say it happened. Then she said "apparently he made out with my friend and then told me just to spite me." Now, yes, it's true that I did in fact make out with her friend from the west coast...but I only told her so when she asked me "who was the last person you kissed." And I said it matter of factly...not to spite her. I just had no reason to lie about it, so I told her. She didn't care really, because she had made out with her friend from TX that same weekend anyway. And on top of that, there wasn't any sort of relationship between us anyway.

Anyway, all of this is making me realize that she's not for me. She seems to be trying to find the bad in this whole situation and then telling people about it. And the way she's doing so makes me look like I'm some sort of jerk. There's no reason for her to say the mean things about me she has. I haven't once said anything mean about her to anyone. If anything, I look back on the good that we had.

So...there's the update. I'm done with this girl, and I'm glad to be done with her. I'm going to miss the good things we shared, and I'll always be willing to be her friend, but I'm movin' on. There are plenty of girls out there that will want what I have to offer and will see what a wonderful person I am. All I have to do is be myself and keep my eyes open Smile
gandalfthegrey
She (like most young Christians I know) will out grow the religion of their childhood and youth.

One day, a situation or occurance will provoke thought in her mind. This will eventually lead to greater questioning, and with that, new conclusions.

You can try to get her to think about the possibilities of the world and universe. Why would a loving intelligent God allow for so many religions, and for people to be divided and conflicted because of it? Why would a God who is suppose to have infinant wisdom and intelligence, want to be worshiped?

You can also have her watch internet documentaries like Zeitgeist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeitgeist%2C_the_Movie
TrueFact
From your first post I thought 'She wants to end everything' though you said you share many things including love.
Saying mean things about you due to several reasons but this is not the issue now as you started over with your own life with another girl.

Any way, religion or belief can cause such conflicts for sure. Someone said that Islam allows a MAN to marry a woman if she's only a Christian or a Jeweish but not vice versa. The concept is that Islam is trying to spread and having a Jewesh or Christian father may convert the wife or the children.

I've been in this situation loving a Christian girl while I'm a Muslim and things didn't work out due to her parents and the Church didn't allow it at all coasts. We shared things and realy loved each other and diferences in beliefs wasn't an obstacle. As a matter of fact she wanted to convert to Islam which led to a conflict between her and her family. I didn't ask for it, and all what she said was 'I liked Islam seeing its truth'.

I moved on hardly and she can't pass it though it is more than a year now as we meet almost everyday as we work at the same compny.

Cultural diferences can cuase such confilcts as well but to a lesser degree and with a limited effect.
icecool
i find the title of this thread quite interesting:
"religion VS. relationship"

is it a competition?
is it a court case?

personally i believe in faith - that's something from the heart and between me and whoever or whatever i believe exists. religion as a concept is man-made so it's flawed. i do understand all the reasons for "religion" and how as humans we have to have boxes for everything but still - WE invented it, so it's flawed.

now faith. it comes from the heart - just like love. it can't be explained. it maybe shouldn't be attempted to be explained. it just IS. and it should be true, unconditional and total. no if's or buts. so my faith is mine to give - just as my love. if both are accepted as such, great, that's a bonus. seems like alot of people confuse faith - religion and love - relationship.

cheers
for what it's worth
TrueFact
Some religions have some restrictions or limitations about relations like marriage, so is not about faith only if you have to obey your religion's and its God orders and stick to his or its limitations.

Mankind usually, to my opinion, need to believe in a higher force, power or whatever you may call it. This higher power will sure have control over those believe in it that's why people following a certain religion can't just give faith as they give love... you control your love but you don't control your religion, god, or the higher power.
Klaw 2
I know something about this, it happened with some one I knew.

Man - very religious
Woman - atheist

The man started with some objections however they still maried. However he went to curch she didn't and this caused friction then a "fire" started when they got their first child, they had a fight and left each other, the mother kept the baby and is now living with someone else. The father is trying to get the child and after a few "incidents" he is not allowed to enter the street (and neighbourhood??) where she lives. In the end it caused more gallons of tears than seconds of hapiness.

If she doesn't change her stance it won't work out, maybe your love her is enough but she doesn't love you enough. I'm bery sorry but maybe it's better not to continue this relationship and marry someone more openminded.

I don't know if this woudl end up the same I don't know any of you. All I really can say shoose wisely if you do marry just keep in the back of your mind that it all can go wrong. But when you don't continue your relationship you might get sorry over time for not trying.
EDIT in what kind of stage is the relationship, (is mariage even a possibility).
Aiz
Uh, from a similar thing that happened with my friend, I have to say I don't know if it would work out between the two of you, even if it does, it wouldn't be without obsticles...

My friend, an atheist, started dating a pretty devout Muslim Indonesian girl. Even before the relationship fully took off, her parents opposed it @_@. My friend is currently trying to decide if they should break up after all, since both of them knew it wouldn't work and that it was gonna end sooner or later o.o; They were gonna break up a bit ago due to the amount of pressure from the girl's family, but they weren't able to do it. So now it's worrying over it constantly, and I think, being in such an unstable relationship is not really the best thing to do since the chances of a true "happy ending" isn't really that optimistic =/

personally, I think, sadly, religion plays a big role in relationships since like Klaw 2 mentioned, it's not only about your romantic relationship, it would also influence many things that come afterwards...
ssthanapati
Well things b/w me and my grl didnt work out cus she was from a different community (although same religion). Here parents were not happy about it. So she left me.

Hope it works for u though. But its really tough when the other person for whom u want to fight for and make sacrifices fails too see reason.
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