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How does a person find out about his/her homosexuality?





iyepes
First I have to say I don't have a judgemental opinion about homosexualism. I think everyone has responsibility about their own elections, including sexual orientation. I have no authority to say this or that is right or wrong. However I have a question I've always had about homosexual people.

I remember my childhood years, boys weren't much interesting for me, I used to be the girl fighting with boys in the playground. But suddenly, when I started my teen years, I started feeling attracted by boys. It was just a feeling developed inside of me, a natural thing.

I have to say that my first boyfriend, some years after we broke up, he told me he had found out he was bisexual. Then the question appeared, How does a person find out about his/her homosexuality? does he woke up a morning liking boys? my interest in boys was developed with my body, and it hasn't changed, what kind of circumstances make a person to find out a homosexual orientation?

I'm respectful, I just want to know, not to judge.
LukeakaDanish
Yikes! your a girl on a webhosting forum Razz

I'm no expert on this matter (not being homo/bisexual myself) but I'm quite certain that people often talk about "confusion".

When you started liking boys, you too where probably confused, coz they where the same boys who had been picking on you for many years, and who you had felt you had nothing in common with for all your life so far.

You too probably didn't wake up one morning thinking "hey, I like boys" - rather you probably first developed a crush on one guy (I started realizing I liked girls by having a crush on one) and this "development" probably didn't happen in an instant. I know for one that I fall in love slowly - I'll gradually feel more attracted to the person as time goes by, and as I think more and more of them, and look at them more and more, I'll fall more and more in love.

I expect people discovering that they like people of the same sex probably start the same way - they develop a crush a person of the same sex as themselves, and this confuses them. They go through a transitional stage where they are confused, and then, if they have the courage, give it a chance in real life.
imera
LukeakaDanish wrote:
You too probably didn't wake up one morning thinking "hey, I like boys" - rather you probably first developed a crush on one guy (I started realizing I liked girls by having a crush on one) and this "development" probably didn't happen in an instant. I know for one that I fall in love slowly - I'll gradually feel more attracted to the person as time goes by, and as I think more and more of them, and look at them more and more, I'll fall more and more in love.


That goes probably for everyone; they slowly start liking someone and then discover that they like them.


How someone can be homosexual/bisexual without really knowing themselves is not that hard. Someone can be thinking about the same sex and thinking that its natural, that everyone does that, while others just knows that they are more attracted to the same sex. I dont exactly know since Im not homosexual, but since I consider myself as bi its easier to understand it. I prefer boys but I cant help looking at girls and thinking they are attractive, because someone are.
Coen
I cannot answer that question with a 100% certainty of having it right as I am not homosexual but I imagine that it develops the same way as for straight people.
LukeakaDanish
imera wrote:
How someone can be homosexual/bisexual without really knowing themselves is not that hard. Someone can be thinking about the same sex and thinking that its natural, that everyone does that, while others just knows that they are more attracted to the same sex. I dont exactly know since Im not homosexual, but since I consider myself as bi its easier to understand it. I prefer boys but I cant help looking at girls and thinking they are attractive, because someone are.


Are you a boy or a girl? Smile

I am a straight guy, and too be honest, don't really ever have any doubts about that. Also I don't see any guys as attractive. I can tell which guys attract girls - but to my best knowledge they don't really attract them because of their looks, but because of the way they are. Or should I say "we" are Wink

That having been said, I sometimes don't really feel that attracted to girls (that would make me...asexual?) but that comes and goes Smile
missdixy
I think it just depends on the person. Everyone finds out in their own way, in their own time.

I've always known I am bisexual. As a young kid, I made out with some of my friends (who were also girls) and felt really attracted to them. But, as I grew older, I also developed an attraction for guys.

Some people just have a harder time accepting/realizing that they have an attraction to the same sex.
paytime
Im gay, and don't really ever have any doubts about that. For me, it was nothing not like sitting on a diner table and reading the menu, where you can choose from. So for example "should I go ahead and eat the Hamburger like everybody seems to like or should I rather place an order to eat a veggie salad even though there are lots of people who dont comprehend --> how can he not like a burger".
mk12327
I'm a straight guy and do not have any predudice against bisexuals and homosexuals. Recently, a good friend of mine came to seek help from me but I honestly do not have any solutions or advice for him at the moment. I decided to look up Frihost forums and to my surprise, there is really a relevant posting. Anyway here's the situation my friend is facing:

He realised that although he still ogle at pretty girls, he started to have attraction for a particular guy. (Hope i'm not the guy he is refering to!) He told me that he became more observant when the guy is around and takes notice of the guy's actions and words. He also claims that he think of the guy pretty often. But he says that he is certain he still prefer females physically and does not want to engage in any homosexual acts.

There are many things i don't understand since i wasn't able to really put myself in his shoes. For example, since he still prefers females physically and is not interested in guys physically, I would think he is straight, but him saying things like being more observant and thinking of a guy does look like there is something wrong going on. I wasn't sure if i should tell him that it is just a temporary confusion or to tell him that there might be a change in sexual orientation for him. Or is he becoming a bisexual?
paytime02
theres no need to have sex straight away. They should just spend some time together and see what happens. Watch "Brokeback Mountain". They both never thought about being gay or straight or whatever, but there was some deep temptation inside of both of them. I guess, thats what counts. Not to find out weather you call yourself straight, bi or gay. Whats the point of feeling attracted to somebody. Im gay myself, could be attracted to my female college at work, when she comes in, wearing here high heels or whatever. Sometimes a person has even "only" an attitude which you could be attracted in. So I would just give it a try. If he likes the female body more than the male, than fine... but maybe this guy has something, a girl doesnt have, like a behavior or maybe just a smell you cant resist. Forget about the question, gay or not. Just meet up, make yourself feel comfortable and thats all about it.
mk12327
I'm not sure if it is the right advice, but it does make some sense to me. I'll tell my friend about this advice and see how he reacts to it. Hope it doesn't end up in disaster...
mk12327
I'm not sure if it is the right advice, but it does make some sense to me. I'll tell my friend about this advice and see how he reacts to it. Hope it doesn't end up in disaster...
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