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Affection only when they want something?? Why??





Miriah
What would be some of the reasons that a person would show affection to another person only when the person in question wants something?

A husband only hugging his wife when he wants to go to bed and take a nap. Another person that only shows affection they want to get out of doing something "like chores".... A child that wants to hug everyone but does not want affection when not initiated by her? She will back away and sometimes become physically aggressive to get the other person to "back off".

I would really like opinions on this subject.
apple
hi,

manipulation is natural to people. we see kids at 2 years old faking so they can get what they want. women cry when they feel cornered etc so their men will feel sorry for them.
men buy gifts etc when they wanna go to 'bed'.

Like i said....manipulation is natural to people and we all do it cause we want out own way, when we want it.
Coen
It is human nature to do something that will benefit yourself in the end. It isn't only human but encountered in nature itself. We only do things because our own survival can be guarantueed by doing so. Things as love are beautifull but when looked at in a certain way nothing more then something to make our own lifes more comfertable. So it's natural, really.
supjapscrapper
This is always the case...Humans are very egoistic, egocentric, sometimes even unrespectful creatures..theygive ove or affections or display signs of it only and mostly only when they have something in their minds, something immediately or at a later point. Children often don't want to get or show affection to their mother, it is the part of their growing process and getting more towards the end of being children, by becoming more independant from the person that gave them everything, their mother. This is my view on the point al least.
cavey
I think people often do it like they got used to when they grew up. If you are used to receiving hugs for "payment" or wish for forgiveness, that might be what you will be giving hugs for too.
iyepes
I've met men who only show affection when they want sex. I think they haven't learned to express intimacy in any other way, and, they don't consider much their partners needs of affection.

I don't think it's good, but many people aren't taught about giving and receiving affection, it's like a emotional dishability.
thadnation
most of the girls I know are very materialistic. When you are brought up around ipods and cell phones and the like, many lose respect for kids like me who don't have video games or cell phones. we don't even have cable. I guess they just don't realize that they are d-bags.
Satori
This is a pretty common issue for most people. They learn while growing up that they can usually get what they want through giving certain things. Sometimes it's affection, other times it's material goods, etc. This is a learned behavior. In the long run it actually brings less happiness overall. You may get what you want in return, but that sort of happiness doesn't last. Because you just end up wanting more. You associate giving with expecting something in return, and then sometimes you don't get what you expect and then your happiness fails you. Your attachment to getting what you want in return only ends up hurting you in the long run.

When you learn to give for the sake of giving, to love without expectations, you'll find that true happiness comes from within and that the best way to grow this happiness you have is to share it unconditionally with everyone around you. You find that simply giving a gift, or sharing your love is what truly makes you happy and you feel free to do so any time you want and you never expect anything in return. Then when you actually do receive love in return, it feels like a blessing and not just like something you "should" be getting. In this way, your happiness is multiplied and you become truly wealthy (not necessarily in a monetary sense.)
James_Hicks
I don't know what you people are talking about. I've done everything a husband can do for his wife and it's still been four months and no sex. It was right before she had our second son. I told her than when she healed I'd be waiting. I know she's been healed for at least six weeks now. Oh well.
TrueFact
We, here in Egypt and Islamic countries, learn to give for the sake of giving and helping others and wait the income in heaven. Practicaly, it doesn't go that way, Why? becuase after all we are al humans and this is our nature... We do things to earn other things. We learn on the long run tht life is about giving and earning not only giving nor only earning.

But, some gain the habit of pure giving for its sake and nothing more, and yes you can see them have happy lives and being loved by everyone. Giving for the sake of giving always gives you better results and earnings on the long run, if you can learn it.
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