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Age difference... does this matter?





Zombie
Errr... hi,
I don't want to give too much info but I'm asking a relatively simple question... err for my friend. Anyhow, here goes: Does age matter when the guy is 19 and the girl is about 29? I mean can this work as a serious relationship? I've been told that there's way too much of an age difference, but that's the funny thing about me... I mean my friend... so actually I ..... I mean HE needs some reasons. Why couldn't this situation work? What are some disadvantages/problems that could arise?
Thanks for any input,
Peace
Coen
I, myself, have heard of relationships in which people got married while one was 10 years older then the other so to answer your question whether or not it is possible: Yes, it is possible.

Whether you'd want it is a diffrent aspect though. How mature is your friend and how mature is the woman he's after? If they're to far apart from eachother then it'd be reccomendable to wait till both feel that they are equally mature.

Another thing, does the woman know your friend is in love with her or is she unaware? If he's really uncertain about it the best thing to do, I think, is coming clean and tell the woman his feelings. If he thinks she's attracted to him too then, what the hell, give it a try if that's what he really wants.

Just bare in mind that people don't have to be very mature at the age of 19 whilst most people on the age of 29 will be so that there might be some sort of gaph between the two of them. If both get older a relationship might not be impossible at all.

Hope this helps, feel free to ask here or to PM me if you have questions Smile.
doppleganger
its all in the head, age difference does not matter as long as you both are compatible with each other
loryl
But if this is a relationship that originated from school as an instructor-student relationship, you might want to tread carefully or avoid it entirely.
sefilim
I think age distinction shouldn't be greater than 10 Cool
Zombie
loryl wrote:
But if this is a relationship that originated from school as an instructor-student relationship, you might want to tread carefully or avoid it entirely.

Lol, my friend doesn't roll like that. A relationship like that would be built on the wrong basis in my opinion. The instructor would be attracted to the student because he's young, and the student might have the idea of free A's or something. That type of couple wouldn't last very long. Rolling Eyes

But Anyhow, thanks for the info Coen, you gave me some stuff to think about. Err also... to answer one of your questions, my friend told me that he is insanely in love with her, and they both enjoy each other's company. But he's afraid to try and take the relationship any farther due to the whole age thingy.
Philou
Two friends of mine are expecting a baby, with something like a 20 year difference between both. I think the age difference is not such an important factor in its own, if the two persons can get over the differences they might have in their attitudes, in the experiences they had, etc..
Zombie
Wow! A twenty year difference? That's something like me marrying an embryo... talk about awkward lol. Anyhow thanks for the info, it's good to know that relationships aren't wholly dependent on age. I do have a quick question though, how long have they been together? Also, do you notice any problems they have due to the age difference? Errr if thats too much info you don't have to answer. Shocked
JustCarol
I think if your friend is mature enough to be in a relationship at 19 and the other person too, I think there is no problem here.
I mean it has to be a relation that's all about love (like all relations) because they might have some different point of views because of their age experience. I mean, your friend is like 19 and if the relationship go on for like 5 years he is going to be 24, in the middle of the 20's and maybe building a life, a carreer... his girl will be around 34 so ready to have children, to marry and your friend might not think about it "so early" in life. You can say to me: ohh don't think about it, enjoy the moment... but if you are in a relationship and the couple don't agree in some terms someone is gonna get hurt sooner or later. The girl may not think about getting married now but believe me, if the relationship go on for a couple of years at least, she will Smile It's what most girls want: to get married and have children. When you are 29 it is still ok but when the mark of 35 passes you go like "ok, time is running, I have to marry and have my kids..."

I'm not saying that this does not work. Again, it's all about love. But your friend has to keep in mind that maybe he and the girl are in different points of life so if there's no comunication and agreement (I don't know if it's the correct word... LOL sorry I can get really confused by english sometimes) someone is going to get hurt. Are they thinking about the same things, I mean, they have the same planes in life and want to run in the same direction for a while? Ask them and if the answer is yes so say "enjoy it"!

Razz
Zombie
Hey JustCarol, thanks for taking the time to write such a lengthy reply concerning my friend's question. As I consider everything you and Coen and others have said, I realize that there is no "yes" or "no" answer to my question... There are so many factors involved that the only sure way to work this out is to discuss it with her. This is going to be a tough subject, but I'll find some way to bring it up(which is the most difficult part of any tough subject).
again, I thank you frihosters so much for your informative advice... and my friend in grateful as well Wink
Satori
Age difference CAN be a problem, but it all depends on the people involved. I dated a girl who was 6 years older than me and the actual age difference didn't bother me. It ended up not working out because we were in two very different stages in our life (which CAN be somewhat related to age.) She was ready for kids soon, and I wasn't. She wanted kids within the next 4 years or so and that was too soon for me. So, in a way the age ended up being the problem...but like I said, it was less about the age and more about where we were in life. Had the age difference been there, but she wasn't ready for kids, I think it's possible it could've worked out. But who knows...my whole point is that physical age isn't important. What's more important is that you guys are in the same place in your lives. Figure that out...because it's much more important than your difference in years.
divya
Nothing matters but how you both feel.

Relationships aren't about statistics and rules and "should be"s and "can't be"s.

Both of you should listen to your instincts, if you both don't know you're right for each other, then who will?
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