Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love
Ok first of all somethings are to be pointed out with you question. First you used the word LOVE. For most people LOVE is they word they want to use bu INFATUATION is actualy what they need to use. It all is in perspective.
As for the actual question what do you mean betrayed. It could mean a world of things from cheating to just loosing interest.
Justly I would say do not do anything stupid just move on with your life.
If you gave me more information, like how long you were going out for, what you call love, etc. That i would gladly help more.
That's a very ambiguous question. You mention that you were deeply in love with this girl, but you did not mention that she love or loved you back.
I agree with the above poster. Just move on. If someone has betrayed you, they are probably not worth it anyway. And instead of talking to us, you should be talking to her. Isn't it a form of betrayal that you would rather confide in a group or strangers than confront her yourself?
Tell her she's fat and ugly, and then buy a giant automobile.
I would forgive and tell her not to do this, if done for the first time.... but if she contnues to do so... i would pretend that i dont know... have a good time... but never marry her 
Asim, this is wrong to use someone else. As in this case you are nothing better than her.
There are several things to be counted here like what's your definition of love and how deep is your relation like others said and how she betrayed you.
Generally and to not suffer alone wondering why... you have to confront her and try no to show that you are hurt. Be strong while confronting her and give her the feeling of guilt.
The other thing, is to move on. In most cases you won't be able to forgive her and you won't forget what she did to you. So instead of sticking with her - which may lead you to think about revenge - move on and get away, forget the whole thing. I know it might not be easy, but this is how it should be to save you and not to hurt her.
move on and find someone less deceptive that you're into and that is into you.
There are 3.6 billion females on the planet, don't go for the one that isn't all you want in a person!
Well since you never got back to my questions i just say move on.
Well I would just move on. Taking revenge on her or doing the same to some1 else just because i was betrayed is not an option for me.
Forgiving someone is very difficult. and he who does it is great!!!
A lot of times, trust is a big thing in relationships. If that's gone, or starts deteriorating, the relationship really can't last for quite long.
| dusara wrote: |
Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love |
ummmm may b kill her 
People you are talking about REVENGE which is not the perfect solution in anyway. No matter how much you were hurt, If everyone seeks revenge after he was hurt, it would be something like:
"If an eye for an eye, we will live in a blind world" Ghandi
I'd say, it depends what kind of relationship you have...
If the relationship is going to break and she betrays me, I would take it as an goodbye. But if the relationship is working for quite a long time and she betrays me, I would take it as a sign. I would want to talk to her to solve that problem.
Ah, I forgot: When she betrays me right at the beginning of a relationship, I also would take that as a goodbye 
It really depends!! If you LOVE each other there should never be betrayel.
If you truely love eachother she wouldn't betray you. If a girl I loved would betray me I'd probably be devastated but I think I'd end the relationship and get over it. Plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak.
| Coen wrote: |
| If you truely love eachother she wouldn't betray you. If a girl I loved would betray me I'd probably be devastated but I think I'd end the relationship and get over it. Plenty of fish in the sea, so to speak. |
Couldnt have said it better. But honestly, Id hate her for doing something like this, that would mean that all the times she said the magic words "I Love You" were lies... And no, there wouldnt be a second chance, never. But it would still leave me in a deep, deep hole...all good things must come to an end. mostly if these things occur it means someone is unhappy.
its a good start of thinking about the whole relation and how u should proceed. just leave the bitter feelings. look at it as a new beginning, although if u really love her of course its hard.. just ask urself..was it worth it.
| king_jofy_joe wrote: |
| find another one! |
Me too 
I'd get over it first before even thinking of 'getting' someone else. It's not wise to start thinking about a new relationship when you haven't dealt with your old one yet. Take some time to "recover" first.
It might sound a little bit harsh for me but for me, betraying starts before even kissing another giy...a girl that loves me normally wouldn't even think of flirting with another guy, or play games with him if he starts flirting with her. It is a little bit extreme, since most people I know would not even call kissing another guy betraying, they would call it an "ausrutscher" as we say in German (means a small error). In case a girl betrays you, it all really depends on the girl and on your personality and the way you usually handle things. I am the kind that is really nice to my girl and expect the same from her. If the situation come to betraying or being betrayed then I am very hard, on the opposite to my normal behavioor. It can vary from not even talking to her and acting as if she was transparent (because of a profound disgust for her after such an incident) to talking to her like normal but really letting her know each time what I think of her. It is just this way, people who do not care about the feelings of others are no good. I may even wish her that her next guy does the same to her.
forgive her then slowly poison her coffee. ('
') I would certainly reccomend to keep her alive. But that's not entirely on topic I guess.
I think I already got betrayed...kind of. By my own emotions. I like this girl, but one of her friends found out and told her and the girl I like was 'repelled' by me, and now just cause of that she doesn't even want to be my friend anymore....
That's really sad to hear. On the other hand, if that what she really is you might want to be happy she isn't anymore. I think you have two options; either you talk to her about it and it will get better or worse, or you just leave it and get over it. Although you might be sad now you might come to the conclusion that she wasn't that kind because of her reaction. That might only happen when you're over it though so I reckon you don't look at it like that now.
| Coen wrote: |
| That's really sad to hear. On the other hand, if that what she really is you might want to be happy she isn't anymore. I think you have two options; either you talk to her about it and it will get better or worse, or you just leave it and get over it. Although you might be sad now you might come to the conclusion that she wasn't that kind because of her reaction. That might only happen when you're over it though so I reckon you don't look at it like that now. |
Thanks for the concern. 
But, I'm over it now. It's just like meh, although she was cool. | dusara wrote: |
Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love |
I would investigate what was leading her to betray me and try to solve things out with her. But I would consider leaving her and find someone else, because betrayal is a serious thing in relationship.Just move on and find someone else. Plenty of fish in the sea.
Hum...
It's a hard question. XD
If this happens... I'll find someone else, too. 
After reading some Billy Shakes...Pull an Othello ftw
| supjapscrapper wrote: |
| It might sound a little bit harsh for me but for me, betraying starts before even kissing another giy...a girl that loves me normally wouldn't even think of flirting with another guy, or play games with him if he starts flirting with her. It is a little bit extreme, since most people I know would not even call kissing another guy betraying, they would call it an "ausrutscher" as we say in German (means a small error). In case a girl betrays you, it all really depends on the girl and on your personality and the way you usually handle things. I am the kind that is really nice to my girl and expect the same from her. If the situation come to betraying or being betrayed then I am very hard, on the opposite to my normal behavioor. It can vary from not even talking to her and acting as if she was transparent (because of a profound disgust for her after such an incident) to talking to her like normal but really letting her know each time what I think of her. It is just this way, people who do not care about the feelings of others are no good. I may even wish her that her next guy does the same to her. |
I think you need to chill out, then. I can understand jealousy if you are in love but it is not like you two are married or even any kind of commitment. That is over the top.probably break the person she cheated on me withs legs, then tell her where to go, simple as lol
It's not an easy situation. But, I suppose that if I have to do something, I would move on and find someone else. There isn't motives to suffer by someone who has cheated to you.
| dusara wrote: |
Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love |
If a girl betrays me besides a girl that i love so much, i would kidnap her and take her as a hostage and then i would do what ever i think is right and that is all i have to say....i would treat her like sex toy, dats it and would never marry her
i should... what should i? i think i should be very f´cked up, and if im f´cked up, i dont know what i do...
love needed two side cooperation, love need understanding, love need trust, love need freedom, love cannot be force. if you love someone, and she don't love you, then let her go, bless her. if you love someone and she ran away, leave her and bless her. by the time, she was letting you to find a better one than her.
Well, I guess in this case you'd need to understand that there is no future for you guys and move on. You can't keep hanging in the hopes that things would work out no matter how much you love the girl. But it was a first mistake and that too arising out of a situation that you might be responsible in a way, then there might be a chance for forgivness and a continuance of the relationship.
| dusara wrote: |
Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love |
Love usually puts blinkers on us all. I do not think there is a person more easily self-deluded than someone who is in love. And then betrayal usually follows the following stages. Total devastation and inability to admit it to yourself, and you delude yourself that you are deeply in love with this person. Then slowly you realize what has happened and you get very angry and want to take revenge. Then after the anger you get completely depressed, as you begin to realise that the love belongs only to you and is not shared. You may also get bitter as well. And then finally if you have managed to go through all these stages you are ready to heal and start again.
There is nothing more painful than someone in love being betrayed. One of the worst hurts and the anger stage can destroy you. Hope you can keep yourself busy with constructive things that can keep you very busy. Probably very difficult to advise a person who is so deeply hurt as that person has to find her/his way out of it their way, but try and think good things of yourself, be good to yourself and just let it pass. Will take some time but eventually you will find that life goes on, someone else will cross your path, and the hurt will get less and less. Time is the best healer of all.I know it sounds harsh but move on! I know you hate hearing it but there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Interesting, so I've been betrayed by a woman before, I mean, come on GUYS, we've all suffered at the hands of a beauty. My goal is to always ALWAYS under-react as per how i'd normal treat the situation. I mean, any human being would EXPLODE at the person who betrayed you but I always feel guilty and end up regretting being so angry, so I make it a point to be half as angry as I should at her then I feel no guilt for reacting calmly and she still feels like a bitch.
wow you sound like you're all pumped up for revenge. Take it easy, man.
If you really love the girl, you would want to find out why she ever betrayed you. If she two-timed you... it could be more than meets the eye. Did she keep you in the dark because she spared a thought for your feelings and was afraid you couldn't take the blow all at once? Maybe she wanted to let you in on it gradually so that it will be easier for you to swallow, and not shatter your heart with one mighty blow? You could say that if she really cared about you, she should have been honest with you and not let keep it from you until you find out that she betrayed you. But consider this: She had loved you before, but she has lost that feeling for you. She now loves another guy. She's afraid to break your heart. She still cares about how you feel. That's why she's under tremendous pressure...
My point is, she might not have intentionally betrayed you. It could be her fear of seeing your heart crumble into a million pieces. Maybe she really cared. Just maybe. So don't jump to conclusions too fast and start hating her.
However if you really don't want her back, then just get her off your phonebook and delete her from your contact lists and move on. There is no need to do anything to get back at her... only a lesser person would entertain petty thoughts. Keep it cool and keep an open mind. Don't lose faith in women and relationships just cos of one person.
It is really difficult to answer from one's shoe of the person who has undergone this.
I understand it is really unhealthy for the person who has truely loved a girl and she has betrayed you. The best medicine at this time would be a shoulder to cry and a person to speak with.
That would be none other than YOUR FRIEND. JUST UNDERSTAND ONE THING. IF ONE HAS BETRAYED YOU AND LEFT YOU CRYING SO MUCH FEELING FOR HER, THEN THINK THAT IF SHE IS REALLY WORTH THAT MUCH FOR YOUR TEARSSSSSSSSssss.
Keep sMILIng guys - KeEp LiViNG guyZzzzZ
_________________
as alwayZz - Cheers and Cherish
indianinworld
Visit me @ : http://www.sathish.frih.net I wouldn't answer her if she tried to write or call me.
Just ignore her and find other sluts instead :=)
i think you have to talk to her, see why she cheated on you...it all about trust in an relanthionship
Depends on what you have to lose and how much she values you.
If she loves you and is sorry for what she has done etc etc then you have to ask yourself the question, "can I TRULY forgive her and trust her again." If the answer is no, then although it may hurt, you may as well move on now rather than later. Truly forgiving and trusting means never again throwing the betrayal back in her face, not accusing her of foul play when you don't know where she is. Of not trying to win every argument by shouting, "but you're the one who cheated." If you can't honestly do this, then you may decide to maintain the relationship but it will be a living hell. Better to move on.
The second part is how much she values you. Maybe she has no real feelings for you but you are always there for her. Maybe she is just using you, for presents, nights out, someone to be with on weekdays etc. Maybe she likes you as a comforter but is not really serious about a relationship with you. Maybe she needs the someone who thinks she is special, someone to be crazy about her but is not ready to value the person behind those feelings. This is something only you can answer. But believe me, if that is the case..move on. And move on in the knowledge that you will eventually find someone who DOES value your affections and you will be far happier in your relationship than this current girl will ever be.
My advice is give her the cold shoulder...ignore her for a while. When she calls, tell her you have other plans. Don't be a doormat for her to walk on. This way she will learn to value you. Say NO to her.
Observe when she calls. Does she only call on weekdays while going out with friends on the weekend? Does she call you to spend special days (holidays, birthdays etc) together?
Sometimes betrayal can enrich a relationship. It can make one person value the other more and help to establish what people really want. It is the grass is always greener syndrome.
In short, be honest with yourself. What are you getting out of this relationship, what are you putting in and do the scales balance out?
I am a very philisophical person and I have many of my own beliefs that I try to share now and again but I also do not push my beliefs on other people. If I love someone it goes by the true instinct of what love actually is. Some people would say that love is a spirtitual thing, but take a minute to think of my stand point here. Love to me is two things: compassion and lust. One can exist without the other (most of the time it does) but if somehow both do exist then follows the definition of "true love." That is my opinion on what love is, but what would happen if someone that I loved betrayed me? Simply put, that person doesn't love me in return meaning there wasn't even love in the relationship anyways (which the reality of that can depress someone). The next step for people would either be to loathe in the "facts" that he/she is the worst person alive, etc. OR that person seeks out for destressing activities that can furthermore benifit the person. If there were no love at all then there is never a problem in this situation! sometimes I guess it's better to just avoid love. For myself I would go out and find someone that I would consider better than the last, but humans should follow their instincts more, because it's a bad thing to be upset since it affects the psyche. | dusara wrote: |
Dear memebers
this is my first post i this forum.If anything goes wrong please take it as granted..
I want people to answer my question,like if you love someone very deeply in reply she betrays you.WHAT will be your next move..
This question is for the true lovers and who has faith in love |
Betrayal? What do you exactly mean by it? I've never been "betrayed" by a woman, so I really don't know what you mean. | fpwebs wrote: |
| I am a very philisophical person and I have many of my own beliefs that I try to share now and again but I also do not push my beliefs on other people. If I love someone it goes by the true instinct of what love actually is. Some people would say that love is a spirtitual thing, but take a minute to think of my stand point here. Love to me is two things: compassion and lust. One can exist without the other (most of the time it does) but if somehow both do exist then follows the definition of "true love." That is my opinion on what love is, but what would happen if someone that I loved betrayed me? Simply put, that person doesn't love me in return meaning there wasn't even love in the relationship anyways (which the reality of that can depress someone). The next step for people would either be to loathe in the "facts" that he/she is the worst person alive, etc. OR that person seeks out for destressing activities that can furthermore benifit the person. If there were no love at all then there is never a problem in this situation! sometimes I guess it's better to just avoid love. For myself I would go out and find someone that I would consider better than the last, but humans should follow their instincts more, because it's a bad thing to be upset since it affects the psyche. |
If yours is true love, and she says sorry, would you forgive her? | cvkien wrote: |
| love needed two side cooperation, love need understanding, love need trust, love need freedom, love cannot be force. if you love someone, and she don't love you, then let her go, bless her. if you love someone and she ran away, leave her and bless her. by the time, she was letting you to find a better one than her. |
Though the English needs some help here, I totally agree. If you love someone let them go and if they come back to you then you know they love you back. If she betrayed you then she doesn't love you.If I cannot trust, she has nothing left to me. Just say Bye Bye!
I believe and have faith that there is true love. If you truely love the person and the person has betrayed you; the first thing to do is to find it in your heart to forgive them. Of course it will take time to get over it but all one needs is time. After a while you know you can live past that hurt and this is understandable because everyone needs a break now and then. If you cannot live past that hurt then you move on. Sometimes we must let go of the ones we love because we love them.
| Greatking wrote: |
| I believe and have faith that there is true love. If you truely love the person and the person has betrayed you; the first thing to do is to find it in your heart to forgive them. Of course it will take time to get over it but all one needs is time. After a while you know you can live past that hurt and this is understandable because everyone needs a break now and then. If you cannot live past that hurt then you move on. Sometimes we must let go of the ones we love because we love them. |
Think I would have to move on, as once betrayed, it would be difficult to trust again. It just won't be the same again. For both the person who betrayed the other person, and the one who had been betrayed.
