I posted a really long story also but to make it simpler for some people i'll ask less drawn out questions.
If my gf has another guy buy her dinner and take her out is that considered a date? Should she tell me that she is hanging out with a guy in this way? Also should she tell the guy she is with that she has a bf?
I think that she should definitely tell the guy she's with that she has a boyfriend if he doesn't already know.
I'm not sure if I'd consider that a date, but it really depends on the two people. In some situations one may consider it a date but the other one wouldn't. In this case the girl almost certainly wouldn't consider it a date if she had a boyfriend, unless she was intending on cheating on him...which would be bad.
Put it this way if you are really meant to be with this girl then her meeting other guys shouldn't matter because at the end of the day and and she will realise that you are the one for each other.
If they are just friends, and no one of them wants any more than friendship, I would just call it "hang out". She should pay for her own food, unless she has little money, and there should not be any secracy about it. If they kiss, Its definitive a date (obviously).
I don't think it's a problem if she and the guy are friends cause I go out with my male friends and hang out and my fiancee does not have any problems with that.
What you need to know is if this guy is aware that she has a boyfriend.
Just ask her! You probably know what she will say, but still if you listen to her carefuly and if you trust her, you will feel more sure about that theres nothing between them. But by careful! When my gf had went on meeting with one her friend the next day she broke up with me...
if the guy have to pay for the dinner or other activities, then it is definitely a date
i wouldnt like it if my girl went of in that scenario with another fella.
but, if its a life long friend then it would be fine,
if its an old boyfriend, a single man, a secret, i am a secret, then no, its not ok
I disagree with a lot of the previous posters who suggest that the guy paying means that it is a date. Frequently my friends and I will go out and each pay our own way, but if I'm not feeling strapped for cash and I am out with a female friend, I will often insist on paying for her to be gentlemanly. For those that have boyfriends, I am perfectly aware of this and have no intentions other than the friendship and yet feel no qualms about paying for a dinner. If your girlfriend genuinely cares about you, then she will continue being your girlfriend and your girlfriend alone. If you have to "keep" her from spending time with guys that would buy her dinner because she engages them romantically, that suggests that there is the much deeper problem of her not really caring that much for you and while you can steer her this way or that all you want, in the end you don't really have her heart.
Since I got a boyfriend, I stopped hanging out with one of my (only) guy friends.
This is because I wouldn't want my boyfriend hanging out with any gal friends, and I don't want to make a double standard thing.
For me, guys and gals have the tendency to go out with someone other than the one he/she committed to...if both are being true and give their trust to other then its not a big deal...other than that, if she/he really loves you, then he/she can't leave you hanging on the air alone..
I would just classify it as a date if it has romantic feelings behind it for either person.
well my take on this situation is it totaly depends on the circumstances surounding the whole thing, as its easy to use a few buzz words and it sounds like a date e.g.
"She lets another guy buy her dinner"
the above statement could sound dodgy however if you paint the entire picture
she goes out with her male coligue and allows him to pay for their lunch meal
mmm now that is totally innocent I even buy my colligues both female and male lunch now and then and it means absolutly nothing
so depending on the contex of the whole situation the story means totaly opposite things.
all you have to be carefull off is make sure you dont let jealousy be the driving force to your thoughts and you will be able to figure out whether or nt this is a dodgy situation or not
last tip if she was up to no good with this other guy you probably would not know about the encounters she has with him my gut feeling is at least from her side she is just being a freind to this guy and no matter what his intentions are is non of your concerns as she should handle and judge this other guys advances
good luck and cheers for now
A date is when you have to pay. If it's not a date, she will do dutch
Well thank you for all the replys. Here is a little bit more information. One of the guys she is friends with really likes her and is one of the same guys that pays for her flight to see him and buys her dinner.
I asked her if she would mind if I payed for other girls dinners even if we were just friends and her answer was no. Seems a bit unfair to me. I would like to get to know her guy friends but for some reason that is a side of that has been hidden.
I have told her a couple times that I makes me uncomfortable and I would not hangout with another girl unless she knew her or at least had an opportunity to meet the person.