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Need some help with relationship

Been in a relationship with this girl since February 07 and I am at a dilemma.

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About me: im in the military, 26, both adoptive parents deceased. I have no other close family members. I have been in the military for over two years, I just started living out on my own the last 8 months previously i lived on base. I am in flight school which is very demanding.

Here's the background she messaged me on facebook and things pretty much got started that way. First we chatted on facebook then on myspace. Eventually I ended up meeting her and and her sister at a club in Mobile AL. That was all cool and we talked on the phone for a while also during the first month.

This is what I come to find out about her as we are getting to know each other. She is 21 and she dropped out of highschool to do home school then she stopped doing that for a while. She left her parents at age 15 to stay with a guy. She lived with several other guys between ages 15 and 21, and none of those relationships were successful. She ended up back at home with her parents. She tried to get herself back on her feet by working as a waitress but she ended up wrecking her car on her way home from work one day.

At the point that I met her she had just lost her car and wasnt able to work. She also was very determined to finish classes for her GED, and eventually some how become a registered nurse. I was impressed with how motivated she was to get what she wanted and also sympathetic to the fact that her home situation was not all that good (supposedly why she left at at 15). So we ended up getting closer then eventually date. This entailed me driving 80 miles to see her from Pensacola one-way, picking her up and driving her back to my house, then repeating the process to drop her back at home with her parents at the end of the weekend.

Well this continued for the majority of months we have been together. I made a big mistake I didnt tell my ex gf, who I am still friends with that I had another gf. My current gf however was a little concerned that I was friends with my ex, so in order to smooth things over I openly suggested that they talk to each other. Push comes to shove and my ex finds out that im in a relationship and it becomes a big trust issue, however I apologize and we eventually move on. This happened in April.

In May she got her GED. She had been working on it since starting homeschool at age of 15.

Fast forwarding to August I decide that this relationship is starting to wear on me especially with the driving. Not to mention she still does not have a job so I have to pay for everything always! I lie to her and tell her that I am changing duty stations in another state. This lie only lasts for two weeks as we are still talking on the phone. She decides to move in with her sister and this whole situation ends up negatively affecting her and what she is trying to do.

I want to help her so I tell her that i lied and she decides to move in with me because I still live in pensacola. The situation we agree on is that I will pay all the bills, groceries, etc with exception to her phone bill. This was to allow her to save money and get a car before I do actually have to change bases on Dec 15th. I help her find a job and eventually I take her to and from work plus my own job responsibilities. BTW I decided it would be better for her so stay near her family and not have to worry about out of state tuition, as opposed to moving around with me and trying to maintiain a job. During this time period we also consider marraige. IT would give her 250 a month plus medical benefits while I am away overseas. I go back and forth over the issue because im and not ready for that much commitment yet and we have only been dating for 10 months. Plus if she gets pissed off at me or upset she can royally screw me over. In addition she occosionally brings up the subject of marriage and tells her family that are getting married without us really deciding on it yet.
So we live together and I help her as much as I can. This is when things get shaky.

Throughout our relationship I have noticed that during some conversations if I ever get in hearing range she will end the conversation abruptly or leave the room. Sometimes shell tell the person that she has to call them back later or another time.

She has also admitted that so has no female friends because they end up not working out. All of her friends are guys that she liked or that like her but the relatinoship for some reason didnt workout. Her best friends is a guy named kareem and they have been friends for over a year. Later on I find out that he really likes her and hates me for lying to her (even though i confessed).

One day she is on the phone with a guy for around six hours and she ends up missing work (she needs the money btw). She deliberatly makes sure I cannot hear the conversation by either leaving the room or going outside. During the long conversation I see her cry and when I ask her about what happened later on she says it was nothing important.

I eventually find out that the phone conversation was between her and kareem. My gf told kareem that she was living alone, paying her own bills, and that me and her were not having sex anymore. he apparently knew about me but he thought that we were no longer together. The 6 hour phone conversation was about him finding out and confronting my gf which apparently made her cry.
She never really apologizes for keeping it a secret from her guy friend. The next week she plans a trip to Atlanta were she will miss two days of work and I find out she lied about him paying for the flight ticket and how it was just going to be kareem and her sharing a hotel. Her excuse was that they were really good friends and nothing would have happened.

So after this all comes out we agree to tell the other person if we end up going on a date or hanging out with the opposite sex. Now we are in the current week where she deciedes that she wants to hangout with her family and help take care of them even though we visited them last week for thanksgiving. Her sister has a cast on her leg and her mother is in a wheelchair. I say okay however I notice she takes the clothes I bought her to go clubbing in and some of her other nice clothing to go out in.

She leaves and the evening I go up to possibly watch a movie with her (yes i was actually checking up on her). When I get to the apartment shes staying in her sister will not let me in or answer her phone. My gf isnt there and no one knows where she is. I eventually get a hold of her sister who still will not let me stay until my gf gets back. So I wait in the car out of sight...
Eventually a cars parks with a guy in it and my gf gets out. I end up going up to the car and asking if the guy took my gf out on a date...and he says yes. I leave her and the guy and go back home.

And this is where the relationship is now. I was suppose to pick her up so she could make it to work but I dont even want to be around her anymore. She doesnt think she is doing anything wrong. The only thing she thinks is wrong is that i dont trust her and check up on her.

So who is wrong in this senario? I know I have made mistakes but I fess up and try to fix them.

The End
trust... it's so important. i can't really say who is wrong but i feel she doesn't trust you because you lied to her. you already apologised, and if she really loves you, she should forgive you and stop doing what she's doing.

imo, both of you are wrong, but she's still continuing the wrong...
i agree with molif Very Happy
My brother.....and I am your brother....I was in the Nav for 8and1/2 and saw a lot of relationships like this. She is treacherous and you need to cut your losses! I had many a shipmates in very similiar situations as yours. You are a free ride for her! She gives you a "little" you keep paying the bills, she has another "friend" (which is a bunch of bs because friends don't act that way when they find out about boyfriends. Do yourself the favor cut her loose, change duty stations and find a good Christian girl to take care of you! I'm not kidding about this, those girls are a dime a dozen around the Nav bases, she is bilking you. Good luck brother!
Agree 100% with ajm71. This gf of yours is not taking you seriously. It's OK that she has male friends but if they're just friends then there's no need for her to conceal the phone conversations.

Yes, in Wall Street speak, cut your loses now!
The current situation is that I am on leave right now in Texas. In february I will leave for 29 Palms CA. Not even a week after I have been gone she tells me she just wants to be friends but she wants to try again after I get back from Okinawa. I find out from her roommate that another guy has been staying with her. Oddly enough she keeps her myspace with in a relationship status.
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