FRIHOST FORUMS SEARCH FAQ TOS BLOGS COMPETITIONS
You are invited to Log in or Register a free Frihost Account!


So I was supposed to break up with her..





dan751
For the few that have been following my threads and commenting to them, this is more of an update.

On Saturday, my girlfriend and I were out doing homework at the local library. And when we got home we both got in a lot of trouble. My parents don't support the relationship in any sense. And, well, my family gave me more grief by pushing me into a corner and I was all flustered I didn't know what to think or do or say. So, on Saturday , I told them that fine, I'll break up with her (forgot that I had made the promise never to do so). I love her soo much that today I only took one look at her and I said to myself, I cannot do it, and I remembered the promises we made to each other: That we'll never break up with each other.

So, my plan to 'end the relationship (cold turkey)' had changed. What we're going to do is keep the relationship limited to school for the time being. No meeting up outside school hours.
RubySlasher
You still get to see each other every day then. That seems fine.
So why exactly do your parents not approve of your relationship. Is it simply because you've gotten too close with this other person, or is it another issue, like ethnicity or religion?
dan751
It's a few things.

First: Her and I are of different religions (but that doesn't matter to the two of us).
2nd: My parents think I'm not mature enough to handle a relationship.
3rd: My parents don't like her, BUT they've never taken the time of day to even get to know her.
bluefossil
obey your parents. Even if you don't support their decision, they are still your parents. Just like our president. Obey your president!
dan751
bluefossil wrote:
obey your parents. Even if you don't support their decision, they are still your parents. Just like our president. Obey your president!

I do obey them, on everything else. But, who are they to tell me who I can or cannot date or marry? I mean, I respect them on their opinions, but at the end of the day, who I date or marry is ultimately my decision.

// Off topic
And by the way, I don't have a president, I have a Prime Minister. Razz
apple
dan.

apart from your parents not taking time to get to know her.
Why do you think they don't approve?
and what religion are you?
dan751
apple wrote:
dan.

apart from your parents not taking time to get to know her.
Why do you think they don't approve?
and what religion are you?

Let me say this right now, why they don't approve, based on my parents religious beliefs. What religion I have doesn't matter, to me anyways. So, there's no real point in saying.
My dad spoke with me a little before I wrote this post and he said that if I don't end the relationship, he'll take it a step further, probably try to end the relationship himself or kick me out. He'll fail on the first one, but, well, the second won't be too pretty.
applejunk
i don't know how old you are, but there is truth in what your parents say about people being too young to handle a relationship. i know you promised not to break up or anything but unless your extremely dedicated and trust yourself and her to be faithful, the relationship will eventually end. people mature differently, and as your thinking and thoughts change, you might have trouble staying in a relationship that you were once committed to. my best advice is that if your under 16, to end the relationship but still stay friends so that when you both are ready to be independent you can pick up where you left off, IF you two still want each other. if your older than 16 you'll be out of the house soon anyways so continue the relationship.
dan751
@applejunk
She's 17 and I'm 18. She'll be 18 in August, but her maturity, I could swear she's 18/19.
On top of that, look at it this way, her family never had a problem with me. The only time that they did begin to have a problem is when my parents decided not to approve of the relationship. Any my parents won't leave it alone. If they simply left it alone, we wouldn't be having any problems AND I wouldn't be talking about issues that wouldn't exist.
molif
seriously, religion can be an issue... i know, i am in the same situation with my girl. how we are dealing with it? taking one step at a time...
dan751
molif wrote:
seriously, religion can be an issue... i know, i am in the same situation with my girl. how we are dealing with it? taking one step at a time...

I know it can be an issue. But this has gone beyond religion. My parents have people watching (more accurately, stalking me) at school, and I don't even know who they are.
applejunk
Then if you're really serious about this relationship, talk it over with the girl's parents and hopefully they'll support both of your decisions in this matter. There's honestly nothing that you or her can do to change your parent's minds, even if her parents decided to talk to them. I think it's like in the classic case of Romeo and Juliet, it'll take something drastic for them to see the love you guys have for each other.
dan751
@applejunk
my parents have said terrible things about me (that aren't true) to her parents, and her parents scare me because of some of the things I've heard.
And yes, it sure seems to emulate the case of Romeo and Juliet.
molif
out of curiousity, what religion are you both?
xkobram
I think you are old enough.
May I ask where do you live?
Bacause...
This problem is to me very unusual, because It's normal in my country to have partner from about 15 years. Long lasting relationship with all things connected with it.

Most people in my country are atheits so I don't know problems with religion.

If I was you, I would be prepared for everything and I would fight for her. I wouldn't end that relationship in any case. If it's necessary, find some place to live, find some job and say parents goodbye...
mawfia
If you really both love each other than I would say do not tell your parents that you are still dating and hopefully your significant other will understand if you have to keep the relationship under the radar for the time being. Do not let your parents find out that the relationship has continued and hopefully they will believe you. I gues you would have to keep up the lie to your parents until you are able to live on your own...not sure how long that would take because I do not your situation.

It sucks that you have to lie to your parents and in most cases I would say they know best however my current gf's father doesnt like blacks...im pretty sure his judgment is a little skewed on that one. So no parents do not always know best advice or make the best choices for their kids.
dan751
@milof: She's Christian Lutheran and I was JW.

@xkobram: We live in Canada, but where we live isn't the point it's the religions that clash. Oh. I'm fighting for her. So much, my parents are kicking me out of the house.

@mawfia: We tried to hide it twice and we completely bombed, people figured it out. And this time, we're not hiding it at all. But, we're both getting out next year.
molif
i didn't know those 2 religions clash as well... but considering you would be living on your own(since one day you want to move out right?), it would be easier for the parents to see that you 2 would be happy together...

also, do you and her have any religion issues between each other?
dan751
@molif: No, her and I don't have any issues as far as religions go.
And also, our parents cannot see that her and I are happy together. They cannot understand it.
molif
dan751 wrote:
@molif: No, her and I don't have any issues as far as religions go.
And also, our parents cannot see that her and I are happy together. They cannot understand it.


since they cannot see you 2 together, then it's best you use time to prove it. i wish you 2 the best.
dan751
Well, now we kind of have to use time to prove it. Last night, her family gave her an ultimatum, break up or get kicked out. And because she needs to be home for the rest of this week due to medical reasons, she has to say she's "broken up" with me. So, really I don't know what's going to happen next.
missdixy
I wish you the best also...if it's meant to be, you guys will get through this.
xkobram
Well, my next suggestion is little bit crazy. How about making this thing more public? Some posters on lights, in school, just everywhere and more people interested in it. Explain your problem and maybe you will get some real help not only stupid suggestions...
dan751
Well, here's the problem. If the parents see that we don't "end" the relationship, she's kicked out of her house and I'm kicked out of her house. And neither of us have anywhere to go and stay. We just have to ride the rest of this school year out. We won't have to deal with any of this come September 2008.
jenice
My first husband and I met in high school and met with religion issues. I understand to at least a small degree where you're coming from.

Having had several years to look back on it all, the best advice I can give you is to ride it out. You have time. You know how you feel. If it's meant to be, you two will last the tide. You just need to have faith in each other that when the time is right and you finally have everything in order that you can do what you want with you life.

Right now, you don't have a lot of choice than to do what they tell you. But that doesn't stop how you feel does it? If it's something you really want, then placate them until you have the means to live your own way. They probably don't realize the damage they're causing by forcing you into a corner.

They can't control you forever, though I'm sure at the moment it may seem like it. I agree with you that they don't have any right to choose your mate. That should be solely your decision.

Just play carefully, and be patient. Make your plans, and watch for your chance.
molif
dan751 wrote:
Well, here's the problem. If the parents see that we don't "end" the relationship, she's kicked out of her house and I'm kicked out of her house. And neither of us have anywhere to go and stay. We just have to ride the rest of this school year out. We won't have to deal with any of this come September 2008.


that is a pretty long time to wait to, but i believe you two can make it through. till then, i hope when the time comes, you 2 can finally be together in 1 place and prove something to her parents.
dan751
molif wrote:
that is a pretty long time to wait to, but i believe you two can make it through. till then, i hope when the time comes, you 2 can finally be together in 1 place and prove something to her parents.

well, it's not just her parents that we'll prove something to, it's mine too. Really, all these problems are my parents fault. And yes, it's about 8 months or so, but we'll make it.

@jenice: I'm confident we'll make it it's not a whole year, or an eternity or something like that.
asim
bluefossil wrote:
obey your parents. Even if you don't support their decision, they are still your parents. Just like our president. Obey your president!


Exactly after all they are your parents... and if you love that irl very much... you can still wait for the right time... start behaving in matured manner... start taking responsiblities and help your parents i day to day work.. and see the world change.... good luck... this will realy work
dan751
Yeah. Just yesterday. we've "broken up". We have 8 months to go of being "broken up". Then things won't matter anymore.
apple
Hi Dan..
I'm happy that you all have found a temporary solution to the issue. 8 months is not a whole year but as each day passes the weight of it may seem like too much to carry.

I wish you all the best and I do hope you'll be back to keep us informed.

apple Smile
xkobram
I'm sorry to hear that you had to make this decision. But I'm sure that sooner than in you will be able to sort out this problem.

Is being "broken up" the final solution? Or are you still workning on some new solutions? I know you know that being "broken up" is very difficult and you can and broken up and so how about trying to live on your own? Is it somehow porhibited or would be there some problem with getting money somewhere (I mean you don't have enough time to work or something like that.)
dan751
Being "broken up" is the only solution we have left. Neither of us have places that we could stay at untill next September. The biggest problem, is that we couldn't afford our own place at this time, otherwise we probably would be in our own place by now.
And well, I'm trying to think of another solution but the problem is really there isn't. It's an extremely difficult situation.
@apple: yes. I'll be sure to keep you guys informed.
Related topics
The worst book you've ever read
Want to know if LOVE is real?
How to get over a break up?
what to do when she wants you back...
My son's hamster broke her leg
500,000 posts
Phrases I hate. Add your own if you want.
Harry Potter 5 (own written version)
What pets do you have?
Handwritting Analysis
uhm...
My new lady... A cute Arabian filly (w/ pics, of course!)
Why girls put good guys on a friendzone?
Got a dog awhile back.
Reply to topic    Frihost Forum Index -> Lifestyle and News -> Relationships

FRIHOST HOME | FAQ | TOS | ABOUT US | CONTACT US | SITE MAP
© 2005-2011 Frihost, forums powered by phpBB.