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Name me a superhero 150frih$ prize

I'm looking for ideas for a new superhero. The superhero actually needs to be slightly tacky and overdone. I'm looking for half-baked ideas here, so don't hold back. It does need to be reasonable enough that a crazy person wouldn't be embarrassed to call himself that.

What I need:
-Superhero's name (and any ideas about super-powers he may have)
-Sidekick's name
-Arch Enemy's name
-Name of superhero's car (or other transportation) (Cleverly disguised as a 1992 Mazda MPV)
-Name of superhero's HQ (Cleverly disguised as an assisted living center)

The superhero is (in his true identity, which he carefully keeps secret) a 74 year old man, gone quite senile.
The sidekick is (in his true identity, which he carefully keeps secret) an illegal immigrant from Mexico. He is 31 years old, and his English is not so good. He got caught up in this job when he read a newspaper wanted ad for an 'assistant'

The winning entry will be used (possibly with a modification or two) in a novel I'm writing. (Don't expect to see it on the shelf any time soon, though.)

Winner gets 150frih$.
Contest ends Dec. 1st. 07 (Probably)

Have fun! Take a shot at it no matter how crazy your idea is! It might just be crazy enough to work.

Oh, I almost forgot; you can make as many tries at it as you want, but please make each one distinct from your other ones.
(And distinct from others' ideas: If your idea is better, but just a modification of an earlier idea, the earlier idea will get the frih$)
Superhero's name - Vinylman,his costume is ridiculously high black pants,with a utility belt just below his chest and a black sweater,he has huge man boobs,which he uses to cause mini earthquakes to throw his enemies to the floor by the means of bouncing,the more he bounces the bigger the quake.

Real identity - Simon Cowell Snr ,an Englishman in New York,works in an old vinyl record store by day,unassuming,typical booky looking old man. Always giving the customers the wrong records,if they ask for abba they end up with ac/dc.

Sidekick's name - Tabasco
Arch Enemy's name - Bob Dylan
Name of superhero's car - jukebox
Name of superhero's HQ - The Vinyl Vault
My above idea is weak,however i think using celebrities as superhero's would work,everything in magazines,on TV is celebrity,we are as a society obsessed with them,so what better than celebrities as the next superhero's,all you need to do is exaggertae part of the way they look or their personality to find their super powers.
Well, I like the pants hiked up and the utility belt around the chest, but I'm not sure about the whole man-boobs idea...
Surely I'm not going to have only one entry, right?
Well, since truespeed was the ONLY entrant in the contest, that's where the prize goes...
that was disappointing...

I'll try just asking in a busier forum...
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