just need to vent to someone (good true story)

markblu

My biggest regret...

well it started we were dating and it was perfect for 10 months
i 19 she 17 yes that is us in my picture
we broke up because i was getting lazy and doing nothing for her or for my life but we still loved each other its not like a bad relationship where somebody messed up
but she had plans for her life she said and wants to finish school and think things through
i cried a lot but said ok
while we were broken up she started dating the "other" guy
they lasted like 3 weeks and i asked her back out she said yes i was so happy
i started doing everything for her being perfect taking her places getting her things she was happy again
so then one day we're sitting at my house and i left my email open... and she found this email...
well i had gotten drunk the very night after we broke up which i usually don't do and sent a couple "bad pics" of her which i had shot to a girl she knows. i regret sending them Sad

i had no reason or excuse i mentally kill my brain every day going over what i did any trying to find a reason but i can't and i can't let this go
again, i know even though i was drunk its no excuse
it made her feel like a w_hore and everything we had together was a lie and she lost her trust and love in me Sad

we talked it out and she forgave me but wouldn't forget it ever she said
two weeks later its my bday she is talking to the other guy the night before and wouldn't tell me i know she was on the phone with somebody though so i let it go
well when i get to her house in the morning i check her phone and sure enough she was talking to him at midnight
its not like i care but she wouldn't tell me she was talking to someone the night before and it bothered me
so i said something and asked her why she didn't tell me and she got all defensive and said i shouldn't be looking through her phone
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i started something bad
we tried to calm down and have a good bday for me though
she bought me a cake and balloons no one has ever done that for me
so maybe 2 days later she breaks up with me
since then we've actually hung out and talked civil we went bowling together. hung out at her house. talk to her all the time on text and phone.
now its like a week later and yesterday i hung out with her at her house because she says she still wants to talk to me and be my friend so i was helping her with her homework she was sitting on my lap and a little flirty but anyways i checked her phone while she was in the bathroom and this guys name is under "babe<3<3<3" now and there are texts saved saying "we're soulmates" "i love you we belong together" yada yada yada the things i was saying to her
i dont think they are dating yet she says she doesn't want a bf but wow and she was texting him and i read over her shoulder she was saying i love you back and i was like i love you and shes like i know and i was like no thats what you said to him and shes like gets defensive and is like no i could be talking to anyone but i saw the name
so i just dont know what to do if i should hold on because this kid ive only heard bad things about and he still has an ex he is holding onto but she knows about that
why can he get away with things i couldn't too i wanna know. cuz today i called her just to talk to her and she was with him and didn't answer her phone. then i called again and he answered and was like shes busy and hangs up. i got pissed and called again and she answered and i was like you never let anyone answer your phone that was rude and uncalled for why are you letting him be controlling like that. and she was just like dont worry about it. so i dont know.
but like i said she is still talking to me and wants to hang out and i've even kissed her a couple times but she always says "this doesn't mean we're dating even if we kissed"
so i really don't know i want her i wanna hang on but she is just using me it seems and i don't deserve this Sad

so really my question is simply, after all that writing:
girls and guys can answer,
if you really truly love your bf/gf
and your bf/gf (while you were on a "break" for whatever reason)
sent naked pictures of you to a friend of theirs of the same sex
then you got back together and found out about it
and talked about it and forgave and even had all traces deleted of the pics from the computer to both email accounts
would you still stay with this person?
what would you feel/say?

Chris24

Answer just one question honestly and you will have the answer to everything that you have written....

Am I happy with this girl?

In my opinion from your post I think not. You can't trust each other, you continually break up, she is with someone else, she lies to you, you lost her trust.....Time to move on to greener pastures and learn from this experience when you have another relationship

natem

Move on, and learn from your mistakes. This relationship is over, and you have been punted into the dreaded "friend zone" Sad

This chick may mess around with you, but the trust has been broken, and so has any real chance of a relationship. Give it some space and time and you will feel a whole lot different later.

xkobram

I've written it to you on Regrets discussion...

I like some ideas which guys have written here. (Am I happy with this girl?)

molif

her trust in you has broken... and yet she's holding on. but i can't blame her for losing trust.

if you really think it could work and hold on, tell her what you feel and ask her what she feels. tell each other you'll be completely honest with each other so that you'll can decide where to go in future.

if not, both of you'll should let go. good luck buddy.

Flarkis

Personally if some one sent pictures of me like that to other people i would be quite pissed off. But if i did truly love that person i would probably find a way to get over it. On the other hand if i were the person who sent the pictures being drunk defiantly is not an excuse. One thing to know about alcohol is that it doesn't create new feelings, it just brings out suppressed ones. So if you did send those pictures it does say something about your deep down respect for them.

Markus

apple

It is possible to regain trust after it has been broken. The process is a hard one tho and it takes a lot of time. There will be many frustrating times when you wanna call it quits.

This is the thing, you broke her trust and shared "sensitive" material with a stranger and now you're the one paranoid about if she fooling around. I fine this a bit funny!

If she does not trust you, sorry to say this but your made it that way.

Instead of being paranoid about what she's doing or who she's talking to, maybe you should place your attention on the things that will possibly make your relationship better again.

TrueFact

Move on... may be a guy can regain his trust into a girl... but it is much much harder for a girl to regain trust in a man. Women and girls always seek confidence and settlement... and you've made it hard for her to find this with you.
Another point, she's telling the so called other guy 'I love you' back... wake up man... she's mostly after revenge because of what you've done with her pictures.

Forget her... I know it is real hard because you truly love her... but if you don't she will and if she does... she will tear you apart and break your heart... save what's remaining of your dignity and move on... she's not the last girl in the universe...

Aleksandroz

I was recently in your situation... Very similar! And from this point.. I can say to you.. let it go.. if you are ment to each other, you will probably get together back again later, if not.. be happy it happened now, and not in a couple of years later.. I brake up about two months ago, and I think of her even so, today.. but, after some time I started to notice very beautiful and nice girls around my college.. Don’t try to get her back, only because you feel bad and because you are split now and it is hard to deal with new situation..
I don’t want to be rough, but maybe you are feeling love towards her, just because she left..
If you are not feeling love, because of that.. And you love her because you just love her.. Than my suggestion is to stand up, smile and don’t loose your dignity.. She will have more respect for you.. And, the most important thing –you will respect yourself more.
And then you will realize that there is plenty fish in the sea..

That is how I solved my problem...

Aleksandroz

ainieas

My biggest question is - what kind of homework required her to sit on your lap?!! Otherwise to summarize your manuscript, you've screwed up. Its the whole not appreciating what you have thing.And would you stop messing with her phone. Like i always tell my GF- if you wouldn't have looked you wouldn't have found! I think if you guys continue there will be some unresolved issues that will keep coming back.Dnt expct thngs to be same as before. Aside from that, its your call.Just ask yourself - Is she worth it?