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Why is it so difficult to start a relationship





dwinton
It just doesn't make sense to me. What is the advantage? I mean the first school dance is this weekend and everyone was stressing over finding a date. What's the downside? Also, what's the downside at any time?
xkobram
I think you should explain more because I don't really catch the connection between difficulty to start relationship and other questions you've written.
hunnyhiteshseth
Well I can understand your point. The problem is the difference between our basic nature and our society.
Our basic nature is to be just ourself. But building relations in our society require being someone else, a much better, good-looking, more etiquette person. When we try to be that, we end up being just opposite. We again try to be what we are not & again we fail. So, basically, we just get engrossed in just any other thing but building relations.

If we just be ourself, then may be it will take time for building relations, but those relationships will be with our true self & hence much better. If we just practice to be ourself building relations would slowly become more easy.





P.S. I know its easier said than done & even i cant be myself all the time. But still its worth a try.
missdixy
It's difficult to start a relationship because it's one of those things you can't really force.
molif
missdixy wrote:
It's difficult to start a relationship because it's one of those things you can't really force.


well said. and also because sometimes you don't know if the feelings are mutual
scotty
Having a date to the school dance and having a relationship are two different things. Your date can just be a friend, just because you go to a dance together doesn't mean you have to go home and make out although one or both of the parties may want that! Relationships as said above can't be forced, that's why its hard.
Aleksandroz
If you are a beginner - I think it is because we don't know many about them - what to do in relationship, how to act..

If not - I don't know, maybe.. if we were hurt by someone, earlier in the past, it could be hard to open to another person again
Flarkis
i agree starting a relationship can be a very hard thing. I go to a small school so most people know or have heard of you. Its tricky sometimes to find people who don't have a bad impression of you but that you also might be interested in. Its mostly a combination of luck and good timing finding the right person.

Markus
Da Rossa
dwinton wrote:
It just doesn't make sense to me. What is the advantage? I mean the first school dance is this weekend and everyone was stressing over finding a date. What's the downside? Also, what's the downside at any time?


Unfortunately since mid 1800`s people are more driven by the..... pride. This is kinda akward to process but that`s the way things unfolded. Lets take this microexample of a girl going to a dance up to find a date, but she won`t hit on anyone directly, instead, she`s waiting to be attacked. All she wants in that time is: a guy that meets her currently criteria, that could include a broad of characteristics in that man. perhaps she`s looking in that night for a guy that looks to be wealthy or have a good sex appeal. Ok, let`s say she finds one. They go out, get laid, she screams in pleasure during the sex and..... what? Time to know the partner closer. THEN she realises that that guy she banged is just... another guy. where is the complication? In her initial criteria and in the ambient/circumstances she went out to find a guy. See the difficulty to start a relationship?

Ok, you could be asking yourself ``but aren`t there any other ways to make the approach?`` Sure there are. But what is the most common way out today? In parties and happy hours. Ther is not much other things that young teens do today so... what are you looking for? You will find what you looked for: an affair but... that`s usually the beginning and the end of the thing.
bluefossil
it's hard to start a relationship because girls are shy and guys have no balls.
Da Rossa
bluefossil wrote:
it's hard to start a relationship because girls are shy and guys have no balls.

Simple and plain!
Guelila
molif wrote:
missdixy wrote:
It's difficult to start a relationship because it's one of those things you can't really force.


well said. and also because sometimes you don't know if the feelings are mutual


Well said aswell.
The hardest thing is to know if the other person feels the same way about you.
molif
bluefossil wrote:
it's hard to start a relationship because girls are shy and guys have no balls.


in that case, a couple need mutual friends to pull them together
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