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please give me some advice...





Srs2388
Hello everyone... I really need some advice here..
I have a job at a factory... i am a machine specialist there. I f***g hate it there though.. it's a dead end job.. i want out and want to go to school for computers or something like that.
but my parents wont leave me alone about staying at the factory.. i seriously get up every morning and hate my life so bad i don't want to get out of bed... i have started smoking,drinking and taking pills to help me deal.
i have given my parents nearly 2,000 dollars of what i have made... i feel like im working for nothing.. it sucks.
me and some friends have been trying to get an apartment together and go to school and work in the city there. but again my parents tell me how stupid that is and that i should stay working.
right now i am just sick knowing i have to go back in to the factory and put up with more people.
yesterday someone tried to get me in trouble there by saying they told me what i was running was bad... they never told me anything *there job is to tell me what it looks like at the other end of the machine* She told a boss "I told him he didn't listen" so I was at the re work table because of her...
i have thought about just getting a fifth of vodka and drinking it all... ending all of it.
but i don't think i should...

what would any of you do??
SonLight
Hi. I don't think I (or anybody) can really give you advice, as you need to make your own decisions. Apparently your parents think it is wise for you to have the security of an established job. While I understand their position, I think it's important for you to take some steps that will lead to a better job in the future.

Have you checked around to see if there is a community college or something where you can study part-time? If not, it may still be possible to get some training from the internet that will lead to useful certifications. I hope you and your parents can discuss this, and even get counseling if necessary.

I wish you the best. I pray that you will find a way to see and reach out for a productive future, and find the strength to deal with your present circumstances.
Srs2388
thanks.. that's really nice. I can't really talk to them about it because they just guilt trip me and stuff. they say "we got u that job ur just throwin it away bla bla bla"
I just want to get out.. get a job that i can go to school and work.. because the factory wont work with me.
it sucks Sad
darvit
A guy in my class worked in a factory, too. Well, he still is working in the same factory, and is going to school at the same time [his employer gives him some form of financial aid]. You're right about having to leave right away. "Leave tonight, or live and die this way," said Tracy Chapman.

It's going to be a really bad cycle, if you don't. As for what your parents tell you, well, it's your life and you have to take control of it. If there's something you really really want to do, you will find a way to do it.

Please, I know it's hard not to, but please don't end it. Take good care of yourself--you'll need all the strength that you can get. What about looking for another job that would fit into your plan of working+going to school? I agree with SonLight's suggestions... Try teaching yourself some valuable skills, even if you have to do it over the internet. Look for a community college that could help you, or get some counseling. I hope that your parents would understand, but I guess it's all up to you to make them understand...

I hope that everything turns out fine. Best best wishes!
Srs2388
wow thanks darvit... well another reason i want out is i have a "benchmark" I have to run 75000 cards a day... and i have been doing good work.. making over my benchmark... and i got trained 3 weeks instead of the 8 they are supposed to train... i have been getting a lot of good words from the bosses.... telling me i am doing a great job. my 90 day review was TERRIBLE.
the boss doesn't like my parents so she gave me a bad review.
she comes by gives me a dirty look... stares at me. it's really annoying. i just continue to do my job. I am getting out asap though.. i will go to school more than likely for computers because i know what i am doing on one now and i can learn alot about them easily because i am interested in that field.
rainmaker
Hi!

First of all Srs, don't give up. What you're going through now is temporary, because nothing lasts forever. Secondly, I'm sure you can find some way to go to college if you look hard. Have you looked around for government grants? In order to qualify most of these, you'll have to fill out the Free Application For Student Aid (FAFSA) and turn it in. Based on your income and your parents' income, you may qualify for grants and the like. To supplement this, you may look into students loans. It's really sad, but sometimes the interest on these isn't as low as one would hope. (When I looked into Wells Fargo's student loans the interest was anywhere from 8-11%, I think.) At any rate, though, start familiarizing yourself with what's out there and work out a feasible plan for yourself. Another thing you need to remember is that your parents won't be there forever; you need to make decisions that will have a positive impact on YOUR life, not just those that will make your parents happy. I wish you all the best of luck!

--the rainmaker
patasarriba
My two cents:

If you hate your job so much that you're smoking, drinking and taking pills, YOU'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE! You obviously won't be able to stay there forever, or even for as long as your parents want you to, so escape before the place kills you. And the same goes if your boss has it in for you -- quit while you've still got an OK shot at a reference, because the longer you're there, the more "fault" (real or imaginary) she'll find with you and the worse she'll speak of you to potential employers.

Good luck, I hope you find your place soon!
rheanna
I would quit and go to school. It's easy to get financial aid. You should try applying for it. You only live once. I would do what makes you happy rather then doing something that will make you miserable.
ThornsOfSorrow
First of all, a dead-end job isn't something to end your life over; there are very few times when someone is actually stuck working somewhere. However, it seems like you were upset when you wrote your first post and that you've gotten your head straightened out now, so I'm happy for that.

Anyway, I'd hold off on the apartment. If you think that paying your parents $2000 is bad, then you definitely don't want to move out and pay even more in order to live on your own. Start school (if that's what you want to do), then determine how much food you eat each day, how much gas you use, how much you pay for classes, etc in order to figure out how much your cost of living is. Then determine how much you'd be paying to live in an apartment and compare that cost to your salary at work. Only move into your own place if you can easily afford it. I know that seems obvious, but a lot of people find a cheap apartment and move in while forgetting that they need to buy food, toiletries, etc. What I'm basically trying to say is that you should appreciate your parents and not be in such a hurry to move out. Plan your life first.

As far as your job goes, aren't there other factory jobs where you live? It seems like your problem is with the people, not the work, so maybe you can find employment at a different factory while you're going to school. It will probably be difficult to work full-time while taking classes (unless you go to a community college twice a week or something like that), so if your parents could help you out so you can only work part-time, then that would be even better. If they're not willing to do that, then just stick with your job (or get a different one if you can) and go to school, but take it slow; there's no need to take ten classes all at once. It sounds like you have a tough job, but maybe going to school and knowing that you won't need to work there forever will help you get through each day.

Last, it seems like you really need to talk to your parents. Tell them how difficult your job is, and make them understand that you just don't want to do it anymore. They should be happy that you're ambitious to find something better. However, if they still don't get it, then don't let them stop you from doing what you really want to do.
Srs2388
hey thanks.... doesn't really mater now i was fired friday.... i was in a bad wreck about a week ago and was fired because i couldn't come in because of a broken back Sad that shows how sorry the employer really is.
now i wont be able to work for at least six months. Sad
SonLight
BUMMER!

I know, of course, that there is a bright side ... at least the situation you were in has ended, even though it was in a bad way. I hope you can smile a little about the fact that you now have a new situation and some time without too many demands to figure out what to do next.

I hope you can find an opportunity to start doing something creative and working toward a better future job. I'll be praying for you.
Srs2388
Thanks sonlight ... i know what you mean... that shows how the employer is someone broke their back and can't come to work... don't offer something a little easier don't try to help just fire the person
darvit
Wow.

I'm not too familiar with the labor laws or anything, but you could get a disability benefit for that back injury, right? And isn't it unlawful to fire anyone because of an injury/disability? You may have a claim somewhere, try looking up the labor laws in your state. Razz

Anyway, that just sucks. I'm sorry you got fired. SonLight is right, though--at least you got rid of your old problem, and you can now look for new ways to reach your other goals.

Best wishes!
Srs2388
yeah it does seem like it should be illegal to be able to do that... but when i am well i am going to try to go to school for computers because i wont be able to do physical labor.
I think im going to look into what they did because that place does so many unethical things to it's employees. My parents both work there my mom was sick and throwing up there and she said they need to refill the medicine thing there for nausea and they said that she was "messed up" and made her take a drug test. she went through her purse to show all the medications she is on..
She was suspended from from until the results come back in.... dad went to Human resources about that to ask about it and the person in there yelled at him and told him that if he walks out he will be fired because he said mam i have a test today at school. She was smart with him and yelling and everything. Stuff like that happens all the time there.
but im paying a lawyer to look into it for me. my parents have been there for like 18 years. you don't treat employees that have been there that long like that.
MsRedImp
Don't listen to your parents, do what you think is right. Get an apartment with your friends and go to school and learn. Mad
cvkien
hei, i am a future counselor. erm... i think i can feel what you saying if what you said is true. all right, what i can say is only yourself can make your own decision. and any choice you have make, you have to deal with it. if you had any problems with your family, i think the best way is talk to them. tell them how you feel, but don't argue with them. then try to understand from their side, and think that why they want you stay working at the factory? then you let them know your thinking, what is your feeling. this is the alternative for you if you don't want to continue the job in factory.

otherwise, if you had no choice, then try to think of what you can do to make yourself comfortable for that job? and using substance only make your health more harm than good. substance only can settle those bad situation in short time. and one question i wanna ask you that, why do you choose that job since you don't like it so much? facing troubles with open minded and reality can makes you deal with those problems more happy. you are the one who can set your own future, you are the person who can make yourself happy. all things are decide by you. you choose to use substance and you can also choose not to choose substance. you choose to feel bad and you can also choose to feel good.

i think if this can't help you, i think that would be good for you to see a counselor, a career counselor i mean. they will give you some test to test your personality and they can tell you what job suitable with the personality type you have. then you can make decision on what is the real job you like the most, and then discuss with your parents. if you had problems with your family because of that, i think you can go to see counselor and do family counseling. i believe your problem will be solve by time.

Good luck.
ciureanuc
my advice is this: your parents AREN'T YOU! So, do what do you feel is best for you. Believe me, it will be better to see what are you capable of...
I did like I said and I feel better. My sisters listen my parents and... they are like me now (I'm talking about money here) but with much more stress. Smile
cloudship
well, taking pills, smoking and drinking sound no good to me, and nor to you. My advice for you is to quit those things first before you quit your job.

If you do really want to learn something new, you might learn it in night school, or even you can teach yourself. You should show to your parents how good you can do other jobs and display to them that your effort to change your life, but not only your work. Communication sometimes is better working out by evidence than conflicts. And winning their support and help (if possible) is also very important to you.

Anyway, it will not be an easy way to go when you want change your concurrent situation. It takes efforts and pains to do it. You should probably think about it. I think if you can provide your parents with those evidence, you would probably succeed in winning yourself a good job tomorrow. Otherwise it is hard to say whether you can find a new job thereafter. And the job you are doing now could be a best drive for you to quit it Wink
atia
Please, I know it's hard not to, but please don't end it
Luciferdf2
join the military btw your speed test sucks.
deStructuralized
Srs2388 wrote:
yeah it does seem like it should be illegal to be able to do that... but when i am well i am going to try to go to school for computers because i wont be able to do physical labor.
I think im going to look into what they did because that place does so many unethical things to it's employees. My parents both work there my mom was sick and throwing up there and she said they need to refill the medicine thing there for nausea and they said that she was "messed up" and made her take a drug test. she went through her purse to show all the medications she is on..
She was suspended from from until the results come back in.... dad went to Human resources about that to ask about it and the person in there yelled at him and told him that if he walks out he will be fired because he said mam i have a test today at school. She was smart with him and yelling and everything. Stuff like that happens all the time there.
but im paying a lawyer to look into it for me. my parents have been there for like 18 years. you don't treat employees that have been there that long like that.

Absolutely press this issue. What they did sounds illegal.

http://www.workplacefairness.org/disabilityleave?agree=yes#1

If you're still able to do your job in spite of the accident, they're supposed to let you stay. If you can no longer perform to the same capacity without assistance, they're supposed to provide you with special accomodations given your disability status, and absorb the small hit.

It sounds like this company is shady as hell, and its management/HR seriously needs to take a few motivation training courses. I suggest you read up on as much employment law as you can because it sounds like they're doing a LOT of things they shouldn't be doing. I suggest you sit down and have a nice long chat with your parents about where their loyalties lie and the possibility of ALL of you finding jobs at another institution.

Note that I'm not a lawyer and I'm not qualified to give legal advice, so take this with a grain of salt. This is just based on what I do know.
mk12327
On top of what many of the helpful members here had said, you might want to quit the smoking, drinking and pill popping too. Those things harm your health and they cost money too... Once you quit those bad habits, i'm quite sure you'll find that you have more money to pursuit your dreams. If by now you still have not ventured out to study, try spending the money on more useful stuff such as books. With your interest in IT and computers, you might wish to get books related to those. Get those that are more concept-based. Syntax or software-based books get outdated too quickly to be worth the money and those can be learnt through research in the Internet. Education is important, knowledge is useful. Hope you are all at well now...
fpwebs
You are in a really bad situation, I'm not going to lie. I would hate to be in that situation. I can tell you what I would do though if I was in that situation. Get together with 2 other friends who both have jobs and can pay rent then I would make sure that I have enough money saved up from the factory that I can use to move out. I would move out of the house and into an apartment where I would share the rent with the other two friends. That way the rent is split into 3rds rather than you paying for the whole thing. That would get rid of your parents problem. But as for the factory I would keep that job and try to search for another job since you really don't enjoy working there, then what's the point of having the job in the first place? So I recommend you move out with some friends and share the rent, and then find a new job where you can work and then try to get a community college or an online college while you're working. Since the rent is split into three you have some extra money saved up that you can use to study! Good luck
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