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Why do some men care about virtue so much?





bartdou
I'm Chinese, not married, and I noticed that almost all Chinese men care about their women's virtue very very much, even to an extend that even though they love each other deeply and will marry soon, if the man finds his woman is not a virgin he will abandon her, if not so he will love her much less than before, and this makes he think that this woman owes him something and he will be laughed at by other men.
Most Chinese men consider that his wife's first time should be with him,

but I heard that western men do not care about this, even that there is a young man find his wife is still a virgin at the first night they married and he is so surprised and come to visit his psychologist.

I'm so confused, why??? should we care about our loved girls' virtue?
molif
guess it's the way people are brought up and different values..
fx-trading-education
bartdou wrote:
I'm Chinese, not married, and I noticed that almost all Chinese men care about their women's virtue very very much, even to an extend that even though they love each other deeply and will marry soon, if the man finds his woman is not a virgin he will abandon her, if not so he will love her much less than before, and this makes he think that this woman owes him something and he will be laughed at by other men.
Most Chinese men consider that his wife's first time should be with him,

but I heard that western men do not care about this, even that there is a young man find his wife is still a virgin at the first night they married and he is so surprised and come to visit his psychologist.

I'm so confused, why??? should we care about our loved girls' virtue?


I guess the reason for people to over-value the virtue of the women before marriage (I guess that after marriage everybody or almost value it very much) is a mix between tradition / cultural values and self under esteem.
First one interesting point is:are all these men valueing so much the feminin virtue, also valueing for themselves. Probably not all of them. So in that case they are just hypocrital.
Of course tradition is different depending on the country. It was like that in almost all countries a century ago. But now some contries have kept this kind of tradition and some others not.
One of the reason, maybe also that men are afraid that the women will be able to compare them with the other men she knew before them and they are simply afraid of that.
dredmanj3000
The thing that most people should be concern with is the actual person. It shouldn't matter what type of background a person had or what the person is dealing with. In reality, everyone (especially men) just want someone who is geniuely nice. Love is accepting all the good and bad things about the person to the fullest. That is what love is.
sopetite
Most men are quite not that virtuous. Women who encounter men who are really into virtue should be amazed. Try looking at other parts and cultures in the world, you'll really appreciate those men much much more
TrueFact
In the Middle East it is the same because of religious and cultural reasons that forbid sexual relations and sexual interactions without marriage and for a woman to not be a virgin on her wedding night means that she broke the rules and considered a wh*re or anything similar to this. Of course this disgraces the man and dishonor his wife (in case they kept married and the man told the secret).

Maybe in China it is religious or cultural as well. But in other countries where sexual relations without or before marriage are allowed, a man can expect that his wife had some relations. About the man took his wife to a psychologist because she was virgin on her wedding night, mostly the man assumed that his wife has some kind of psychological problem that made her never try to have sex with anyone.
Da Rossa
Quote:

I'm so confused, why??? should we care about our loved girls' virtue?


Of course you should, man. No need to explain this, also, this can't be clearly expained either. Your tradition of caring about this is wonderful. I wish the Brazilian did that too.
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