funny jokes

[SP]HaloClan

i will b posting these as separate posts cuz i dont have time to type them all out at the same time...

Once there was a toothbrush company who needed another salesman, so they posted notices everywhere saying there would be a competition to be the new salesperson and to meet at such and such a time at so and so a place. When the boss arrived he found three hopefuls sitting inside the room. He then said "ok first of all introduce yourself and tell y u should be our new salesperson". The first guy said "hi my name is jim and i think i could do a lot for this company". The second guy said "hem hem, my name is william but you could call me will, and i just got downsized so i really need this job to support my family." The last guy then said "My nam es bob. I lik to eet cookeeth." So the boss said "Ok we are going to have a competition to see how many toothbrushes you guys can sell and whoever can sell the most toothbrushes in a week gets the job."
So the guys come back a week later and the boss says "ok tell how many toothbrushes you sold", so jim says "I sold 422 toothbrushes," and will says "aww crap i only sold 395 toothbrushes" then bob says with a HUGE smile "i thold thwee toothbwuses." Then the boss realizing that this guy needed help told the other guys to wait outside and took bob aside and said "listen bob, im gonna give you another chance, but this time get creative" and bob said "otay" then he called the other guys back in and told them "We are gonna have another competition, this time two weeks and whoever sells the most toothbrushes gets the job" So they come back in two weeks and he says "ok tell how many toothbrushes you guys sold" and the jim says "i sold 903 toothbrushes" and will says "hah i sold 956 toothbrushes" then bob says with an even bigger smile "i thold 30,432 toothbwuses" Then the other guys, absolutly blown away by this asked him how he did it. Then he says "well fust i put up a thign thaying 'fwee cookeeth' then wen peopo wud bite into them theyd thay 'these taste wike cwap' and id thay 'they aw cwap wanna buy a toothbwuth?'

[SP]HaloClan

A state trooper pulls over a blonde on a lonely back road and says, "Ma'am, is there a reason why you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."

[SP]HaloClan

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

[SP]HaloClan

A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handyman- type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge?" he replied. The blonde said "How about $50.00 ?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladder were in the garage. The man's wife inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blond came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes, the blond answered and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats". Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.00 "and by the way the blond added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari".

coolpages

cool jokes.. thnks for sharing them
loved the second one..lol Very Happy

airh3ad

Blonde haircut

A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut. The barber asks her to take off her headphones, and she says she needs them and can't take them off. As he starts to cut her hair, she falls asleep in the chair. The barber can't cut her hair correctly with the earphones on, so he removes them, and after 30 seconds she drops dead. Startled by what’s happened, he picks up the earphones to listen what it was and they said: "Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out..."

gamo

XxXEmoDorkXxX

A blonde girl runs home from school. 'Mummy! Mummy!' she yells. 'We were counting today and all the other kids could onlu count to four, but I could count to six. See, one, two, three, four, five, six!' 'Very good!' says her mother. 'Is it because I'm blonde Mummy?' asks the girl. 'Yes, it's because your blonde.' replies her mother. The next day the girl runs home from school. 'Mummy! Mummy!' she yells. 'We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to D. See, A, B, C, D, E, F, G!' 'Very good!' says her mother. 'Is it because I'm blonde Mummy?' asks the girl. 'Yes, it's because your blonde.' replies her mother. The next day the girl runs home from school. 'Mummy! Mummy!' she yells. 'Today we were having gym class and when we showered all the girls were flat chested and I had these!' With this the blonde girl lifts up her T-shirt to reveal a pair of 38-C's. 'Thats very good.' says her mother. 'Is it because I'm blonde Mummy?' asks the girl. 'No,' says her mother 'Its because your 25.'

haha i thought it was funny

Very funny jokes :) :D :))
Some funny Jokes
Two funny jokes...
Really funny christian Joke
Jokes =D

Some funny jokes, Offtopic, but extremely nice
10 Blonde Science Fair Projects:
The Other side
ok few dumb jokes
Joke

very funny joke must read !
How stuff works
Scary Movie 4
Yet another newbie posting
post drinking smokers throat