Now, I know that no family portrayed on television or in a movie is going to be exactly like yours, but which one do you feel is most like your own family and why?
I'm sure my answer won't be believed, but my family was closest to... The Addams Family; TV show or movie version.
No joke.
Take away the money, the big house and the obvious physical abnormalities of some of the Addams clan (as in "Thing" & "Cousin It") and you've (basically) got my family.
Examples:
My mother dressed me in girls' clothing when I was growing up, treated me like/thought of me as her little girl and had obsessions with Elvis & fake flowers.
She also collected lint from my stepfather's bellybutton and saved it in a little crystal jar.
Don't ask why.
My father talked to himself constantly and considered conversations with imaginary people far more important than conversations with real people.
He was a habitual liar and enjoyed lighting things on fire in the backyard.
My half-brother was an incompetent thief and a heavy drug user who was constantly searching for homemade ways to get high.
My great aunt thought she was Napoléon Bonaparte.
My grandmother ran a who®ehouse, made moonshine in her basement and had a fascination with poisons.
My rich uncle (mom's brother) collected pictures of other people's family members and claimed them as members of his own family to anybody who asked, giving them all names & fantastic histories and saved his toenail clippings for whatever odd reason.
My first stepfather was a violent sexual deviant & alcoholic who could vomit on command.
My second stepfather was an egotistical, violent, homophobic, racist, all-around jerk who enjoyed watching my mother & I through hidden peepholes in the bathroom wall.
So... there you have it: the trailer-trash version of The Addams Family.
I'm sure my answer won't be believed, but my family was closest to... The Addams Family; TV show or movie version.
No joke.
Take away the money, the big house and the obvious physical abnormalities of some of the Addams clan (as in "Thing" & "Cousin It") and you've (basically) got my family.
Examples:
My mother dressed me in girls' clothing when I was growing up, treated me like/thought of me as her little girl and had obsessions with Elvis & fake flowers.
She also collected lint from my stepfather's bellybutton and saved it in a little crystal jar.
Don't ask why.
My father talked to himself constantly and considered conversations with imaginary people far more important than conversations with real people.
He was a habitual liar and enjoyed lighting things on fire in the backyard.
My half-brother was an incompetent thief and a heavy drug user who was constantly searching for homemade ways to get high.
My great aunt thought she was Napoléon Bonaparte.
My grandmother ran a who®ehouse, made moonshine in her basement and had a fascination with poisons.
My rich uncle (mom's brother) collected pictures of other people's family members and claimed them as members of his own family to anybody who asked, giving them all names & fantastic histories and saved his toenail clippings for whatever odd reason.
My first stepfather was a violent sexual deviant & alcoholic who could vomit on command.
My second stepfather was an egotistical, violent, homophobic, racist, all-around jerk who enjoyed watching my mother & I through hidden peepholes in the bathroom wall.
So... there you have it: the trailer-trash version of The Addams Family.
