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Help! Like best friend of 4 years, what to do!?





Blnd4lyfe
Alright so here my problem..

I'm 16, ok fine.
Of course I've had girlfriends, flicks, and my "on again, off again" partners but to find out that I like a close and dear friend of 4 years more than any other girl I've liked before is something I find hard to deal with emotionally and physically. I mean how would I feel making out/love with a best friend of mine? I don't know how I would react, honestly.

Now here's my big problem. I've been busy for the past few months and haven't exactly had contact with her, all communication became obsolete between the two of us( The guilt is heavy on my shoulders to be sure). She went her way and I went mine. She's had her loves and I've had mine.

THE BIG QUESTION:

Do any of you think I have a remote chance in hell of being able to tell her my feelings towards her without getting completely rejected and if I do how should I approach it, seeing as how I'm in a difficult position at this point in time, having not talked to her in months and having not taking the opportunities I've had in the past to ask her out.



ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!!
I've done a lot of heavy thinking on this and I've got nothing, it's been bugging me for the past month or so, to the point where I began to stress in my sleep about it. ( talk about emotional yea?lol) Razz
molif
just ask her out! give it your best and don't look back.

it's better to have taken the chance then to live without knowing..
Blnd4lyfe
lol
Never actually thought it would be that simple.
I'm still afraid though, afraid that if she does reject me, I've been living these past months thinking about nothing but her and she hasn't had any feeling towards liking me as more than a friend?
Does this make sense? Confused Or am I just being to paranoid about this whole situation?
akshar
dude u r too young. Wait for 4 more years and you realise that you need have posted all this on a forum.
molif
i don't think you're being paranoid.. who knows, maybe she does have some feelings for you?
Blnd4lyfe
well lets hope so.
I guess I'm gonna give it a shot, worth a try.
Thanks for your advice, Molif and others. I appreciate it. lol
molif
good luck.. and if it works out inform us.. Smile
Sadow
Just ask her out on a date. Nothing really special, but... you should say you missed her lately. Don't say anything else, just this. If you are afraid to ask her directly you could call her, or if you don't dare call her just e-mail her or write a small note whatever.
Just ask her out and tell her you've missed her. Preferably you should let her wait for the date for atleast 5 days.

Okay, here it comes. The date has come and you pick her up.
Did she dress up for you? did she put some effort into the occasion to impress you? and if not.. no worries, the evening is not over yet. She might want to wait and see what your intentions are.
As the evening progresses, let her know by how you act, that you actually really like her. Give her compliments on how she looks. Tell her that she has beautiful eyes or whatever, you know what to do. Make eye contact.
It'll give you the information you need if you will observe. If you give her the extra attention and you see she likes it, then you'll know it will be okay. Ask her out soon on another date.
And your age... this is not an issue at all. Wink
markblu
yes i agree with sadow, just go on a date first, ask her out somewhere. to the movies even! and DONT BE NERVOUS. acting normal just be like hey you wanna hang out insert-place-to-go. actually see this same thing has happened to me with my current girlfriend. SO MAYBE I CAN HELP!! Smile for the last 4 years we have known each other, known each others friends, were friends ourselves, hung out like every month or so lol, but we talked online a LOT. anyways i finally got the courage and just asked her if she wanted to go to a movie sometime, thats all i said, no details or anything, and she made the plans and gave me her number cause i had forgotten it. i was so happy. in the movies we started making out, and i had asked her out on the way home. that was 9 months ago! we are doing great now and since we've been talking i found out she kind of did have a crush on me. i'm 19 so we're not too far apart man. just go with your instincts. and DONT THINK ALL DAY AND NIGHT ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF lol you will stress yourself out so bad. SO BAD. well hope this helps!
molif
that's the thing.. relationships start as friends.. so any news yet? Laughing
supjapscrapper
Blnd4lyfe wrote:
Alright so here my problem..

I'm 16, ok fine.
Of course I've had girlfriends, flicks, and my "on again, off again" partners but to find out that I like a close and dear friend of 4 years more than any other girl I've liked before is something I find hard to deal with emotionally and physically. I mean how would I feel making out/love with a best friend of mine? I don't know how I would react, honestly.

Now here's my big problem. I've been busy for the past few months and haven't exactly had contact with her, all communication became obsolete between the two of us( The guilt is heavy on my shoulders to be sure). She went her way and I went mine. She's had her loves and I've had mine.

THE BIG QUESTION:

Do any of you think I have a remote chance in hell of being able to tell her my feelings towards her without getting completely rejected and if I do how should I approach it, seeing as how I'm in a difficult position at this point in time, having not talked to her in months and having not taking the opportunities I've had in the past to ask her out.

ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!!
I've done a lot of heavy thinking on this and I've got nothing, it's been bugging me for the past month or so, to the point where I began to stress in my sleep about it. ( talk about emotional yea?lol) Razz


don't get me wrong, but you talk like you were collin farrell being a hero taking life on his own with 150 years of experience who finally discovers real attraction after he has been with 36000 different women Very Happy

you're 16, son don't take things too seriously, and I dunno what the hell does sex does even do in your question, if you have real feelings for her then sex should not be a big matter in your mind...

oh jeeeeeeeee.. I have a freind of mine who experienced the same thing as yuo with two differences:

he was 23 at the time and the girl did ignore him the whole time and didn't even answer him.... he kept on confronting her and asking her for explanations, without telling his feelings, one day he followed her to the toilets and wanted to put everything on the table... they are now together...
that's life, it's strange and we canonly hope that it'll end with the best.
Jaan
You're way too yung d00d.

gtfo and mature up a bit. she will as well (i'm guessing shes the same age as you). and in a few years you probably won't see her ever again.
patasarriba
Who cares how old you are? There are people who met in kindergarden, ended up getting married, and stayed in love their whole life. DON'T wait four years. What happens when you're both off working or studying halfway across the country and you realize you missed your big chance? My boyfriend and I were friends for well over a year before he took the chance to tell me that he was in love with me, and now we have a great relationship. Don't live your whole life worrying about what people might think, if you want something, you've gotta go for it. Good luck!
tahoestyle
You have plenty of time and years ahead but I have always like the saying -

"If you risk nothing, then you you risk everything."

Very Happy
indianinworld
Ok and ask her.........

Actually you should have told this to her instead of posting it in the Forum Laughing

If you can post these things in the Forum, then why can you just go and say this to her ? And Love starts with Friendship Smile

Just speak with her. And if anything is gonna work, then let us know. Razz
shigella
Just be yourself. Tell her the you love her and promise her nothing. Don't think too much, let it happen smoothly. Time will give you luck
cavey
Hope she will return your feelings! If she is your best friend, that also means that she really likes you as a person. There is absolutelly nothing wrong with having your best friend as your girlfriend. If you should end up spending the rest of your life with her, it doesn't hurt that you are also best friends :)
aniston
I had this crush for a friend of mine once, i didn't tell her until some years gone. To my surprise she had this same feelings for me also and was waiting for me to ask her out. I'm happy i didn't cauase not all friends you live can be a good lover.

I believe if i went out with herwe might end up ending the relationship someday and might be able to be so close anymore, i cherish her as a very good friend, thats where i want it to be.
You might want to give it a great thought, friends are easy to meet but good friends rae hardto keep, which side of the fence would you rather let her be a good friend for life or later to be your ex.
Blnd4lyfe
Hey, im back
I decided against telling her.
Like the last poster said it really is hard to come by extremely good friends like her these days and I want to keep it that way.

Yes I love her to death and I wish to god I could be closer than ever to her but I don't EVER want to have any bad feelings between the two of us.
apple
Blnd4lyfe...
let me share 2 experiences from my own life.

when I was 13 I met a guy and we hit it off...we always hung out and had lots in common etc...for the following years I liked him and wanted more than friendship but never told him...9 years after one day while we sat in the mall I told him I had liked him all those years ago and he was in shock. he asked why I never said anything before, I told him I was afraid to lose the friendship and he held my hand and smiled and told me for all those years he also wanted to tell me he wanted more than friendship and was also afraid to lose the friendship.

Well we had quite a laugh at ourselves. It's been 15 years now and we're still very good friends.


story #2...

I got this friend named brent. We used to go everywhere together and hang out all the time. When I needed to talk I could call him and vice versa. I never thought we'd be more than friends so, after 7 years of friendship, when he told me he has always been in love with me and was upset when I got together with my fiancee....I was shocked!
That happened 3 years ago and he's still a bit upset. I guess he thought I'd just know how he felt cause we spent time together etc.

I said all of that to tell you...you're not alone in situations like these. Seeing that you decided not to tell her, then be the best friend you can be. Smile
iyepes
It's ok, keep your friendship, probably it last more than anything else.

However, being in love of a friend is a thing, that the other person finds out in one way or another. Be honest with yourself, if you are really able to keep this friendship as it is or not.
akshar
oh so many advices??????
he crux is you are too young
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