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If six people tell you that you have a tail...





Manus et Therion
Is one's sense of conviction a justifiable cause for not wanting to associate with that person? Some people find themselves very dissuaded simply by the confidence and poise others display in their manner of speaking. A person so certain of his knowledge that he speaks in such a way as to leave little room for doubt is regarded by those who have no such power of certainty as something to hate and sometimes rile against. Are you such a person? Do you stand with such firm conviction that you sometimes find that people dislike you simply because you have that level of confidence? Or are you on the other side of the fence, so unsure of yourself that you instantly dislike someone who displays a great amount of self-efficacy (not to be confused with arrogance, btw)? These people who find themselves uncomfortable around men and women of conviction, are these the same people who refuse to participate in activities they already imagine they are not good at doing, like various games or social activities?

Self-esteem is established by a persons ability to judge their own self-worth and self-efficacy. These two pillars of value must be correctly viewed if our self-assessment is going to be of any merit. How exactly do you go about determining these things? How should a person contemplate self-worth and how best do we determine self-efficacy?
tidruG
How thick is your fence?
Pictorially, I imagine a fence as not thicker than an inch or two, whereas the 2 sides of the fence are expansive areas. Applying the same analogy to what you're written about, one would imagine that perhaps you believe that most people fall into either of the 2 categories - (A) - the diffident, (B) - the overconfident. I believe, however, that there are plenty of people who are somewhere in the middle.

I am quite confident of what I have to say, if at all I have something to say. I try generally to view things objectively from an outside POV before saying something. I also find overconfidence mixed with cockiness extremely annoying. For instance, a friend of mine was CONVINCED that all bands record all songs live. The only reason it sounds like there are more guitars playing in the chorus is because of the "chorus" effect that the sound mixer adds. However, I KNEW that most songs are recorded track-by-track and finally, the tracks are put together by a sound technician. It took me days (of irritation, frustration and sometimes anger at his stubbornness) as well as a Yahoo Messenger conference with someone who's been in a pretty successful band to finally change his mind. I find that even though I seem to be a little headstrong, I do keep an open mind. Confidence in yourself is no excuse to become headstrong or cocky.

On the other hand, I find myself not wanting to spend too much time with people who are diffident, for their lack of conviction can be contagious.
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