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What whould u do when ur gf lied to u?





cvkien
actually i also don't know my girl friend did lie to me or not. but she seems like don't care what i said. few months ago i catch her email with her ex, saying she very miss him and many things and the way she treat me was different after that. we did almost break up because of that issue but lastly we still together. i just don't know how and what i must do. sometimes i'll thinking of she is doing something behind me. i think i don't trust her anymore. i tried to trust her but it was hard for me. it seems like no more secure for me. feels like she betray me.
ca222
I'm only 15, but I can really understand.
My boyfriend who I dated in december for 2 months, I'd never really had a proper relationship before then.. anyways,

We went out but he never took me anywhere accept school? So I wondered sometimes if he ever liked me, and my best friend was his ex yeah. And then a few days into january, I heard rumours that he was hugging my best friend behinde my back, I felt like I was smushed against the floor.
And we broke up. But then we got back together a while afrer and he dumped me again, I've now started seeing his best friend (I've always liked him, when he dumped me the first time I was chatting to his friend and we got close) its been 5 months now, and I'm still with my ex's friend.
And we're soo happy.

What I am trying to say is that, no matter how you're going to feel. You have to trust the relationship, if you don't trust her in the slightest, then whats the point? Okay you may love her.. but you'll be always considering what if. You need to think of what could happen in the future, and not if it'll hurt others around you.
I think if you carry on feeling like this, just stay friends... Trust is the main componant for a relationship


Sorry if that sounded like gobble but, its how I feel? I was hurt, and I'm sure you are still fragile. But you'll find happiness if you allow it to come to you. :]<3
BlockUp
Um, sorry if I offend you ca222, but you're 15. I'm a year older and I still don't feel like I have had any mature relationships. We've both got a lot to learn, so I really don't see how you, or I, can help.

However, in regards to the actually topic... just like any situation where you no longer feel comfortable, it is not the best thing to stay with that person. I mean, trust is an essential part of any relationship.
sanalskumar
BlockUp wrote:
Um, sorry if I offend you ca222, but you're 15. I'm a year older and I still don't feel like I have had any mature relationships. We've both got a lot to learn, so I really don't see how you, or I, can help.

However, in regards to the actually topic... just like any situation where you no longer feel comfortable, it is not the best thing to stay with that person. I mean, trust is an essential part of any relationship.


U R right my friend, Trust is the basement of all the relationships...
ca222
I'm not at all offended.
I've been through some relationships and all I'm saying is they make you more stronger.
cavey
The question is: Is she with you because YOU are the one she wants? Or because her ex doesn't want her back? Have you really talked this through with her? It could really "clear the air".

If you are young, it's easy to get confused from time to time. It often passes (like this time?) and you would be better off not knowing, because it is really YOU she loves after all.

If she cheats on you or lies to you, it's impossible for us to know. Only she can answer you on that one.

I'm curious; how did you catch her emailing with her ex? Did you go through her mail? Or accidentally came up behind her while she wrote?
molif
cavey wrote:
The question is: Is she with you because YOU are the one she wants? Or because her ex doesn't want her back? Have you really talked this through with her? It could really "clear the air".


very good point. it's no use forcing love, and she should know it's not worth being with another just because you can't get someone else..
nivinjoy
If your girl friend tell a lie to you first of all think about the situation that made her to tell a lie..Then consider yourself in her place or position,and think for a while about what would have you done if you were in that situation..After thinking like that you will understand her and now you will be ready to understand her..And if still you can't forgive her its up to you to whether to continue the relationship or not...But always remember forgiving is not a bad thing it is a heavenly gift from God that only some of us gets..
KronikSindrome
there's a lot of people in this world, you can find someone who loves you and only you and would never betray you. dump the girl and keep looking eh.
mike_phi
Well it sounds like a very intersting topic, basically you where presented with a situation you tried to deal with it and now you feel kinda bad.

thats a case of an unresolbed issue, you still have a issue with your girlfreind and it does not matter what she wrote in the mail you actually dont understand it yet.

None of us out here have the answer, you will have to go back to your girlfreind and have a constructive conversation, and dont be shy to express exactly how you feel, and make sure not to make her feel afraid to loose you or anything like that let her feel totally comfortable and she might open up to you.

and if she is with you because she loves you then you have no fears, this really is a special case like all other cases and you will have to be patient and constructive when you talk to her and once you understand the given situation and resolve this issue within yourself you will feel fine.

the main thing is the way you bring it up and present it to her there my tip would be be honest tell her your deep feelings about this and try not to let your ego be your feelings, if you want to keep her and be with her let your heart be the feelings, and dont cross question her when she speaks just present your feelings and offer her your ears and just listen.

hope that helps cheers and good luck
Srs2388
Trust is vital... you have to trust her... she has to trust you. otherwise you'll be going crazy thinking what she might be doing... who she "really is talking to" etc.
It's hard to trust some of them man... I have had so many lie and cheat it's ridiculous. I myself find it kind of hard to trust sometimes.
... But you can always talk it out and try to make it work.
kohn
I've had ladies lieng to me all the time, i'm a god reader of someone and at the end they just have to come clean.
I jsut take it as it comes for reasons i don't know myself yet,my girl has lied to me i know cause i told her upright she was lieing and if she doesn't come clean it'l be over she did and i let it pass.
we are human you know, if GOd above can forgive i don't see why i should not..
kuyman
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to actually find out if she lied or not, and then find out why she lied. It's far fetched, but maybe she lied to see if you really liked her well enough to survive a lie. As was previously mentioned, sometimes it can build up a relationship. I hope things turn out all right for you.
evilryu530
just roll out my friend.....do ur dirt, get what you can take and bounce, u deserve better...
sanalskumar
To be in too many relationships is not the thing. To be in Good relation is the thing.
sanalskumar
God is really great!! Who give me a good gf.
cvkien
i actually hack into her email. because that day suddenly she place her laptop very close to her, like hiding something from me. and that make me curious. then i read those email she wrote and i found out what was happened. and since then i don't trust her anymore. everytime she online, i'll suspect she email with him. actually i also don't want like that but, feeling... i guess i'm acting according to my feelings. but recently is better.
tinilam
You should care for girl. I'm joking.
ca222
No offence, but heres a thought;

Get rid of her, don't accostomate yourself with her. Leave her to be an idiot, and leave her be.

Don't talk to her ever ever ever again.


Is that the thing you want to hear?
missdixy
It's hard for a relationship to really work if there is no trust.
molif
you spying on her means you did not trust her in the first place.. maybe it's best you move on..
Liu
If I was in your position I would stop wasting my time and energy, and dump her.
daferx
well for me .. if you do love someone.. you must trust and respect each other.., you must be patient, kind, not jealous.(but its hard to do this things) but you must do.. if you do love someone.. Smile coz love conquers all!
ca222
I agree, leave her alone mate!
You clearly don't like her enough to trust her. If my bf did that to me, He'd seriously should think about being ashamed of yourself.
So what if I was missing my ex, people still have feelings for their ex's.
Do you even think she moved on properly?
And it sounds like I don't blame her, because you're spying on her.
She needs privacy?!
Leave her alone, she's clearly wanting to be with him again. So wash your hands, and wash her out of your thoughts also. Just please, don't spy on a girl... its devius.

Has she ever done it to you?


(No offence on the harshness here, but its clearly bugged me the spying, he doesn't trust her. So why should he bother if there isnt any trust)

Move on chuck!
Molle
Even though a girl lie to you, you should get rid of her... (It depends on what she lied about) Ofcourse there is hard to get a relationship to work without trust, but if you can't forgive... yeah, you should forgive sometimes, other times not.
cavey
cvkien wrote:
i actually hack into her email. because that day suddenly she place her laptop very close to her, like hiding something from me. and that make me curious. then i read those email she wrote and i found out what was happened. and since then i don't trust her anymore. everytime she online, i'll suspect she email with him. actually i also don't want like that but, feeling... i guess i'm acting according to my feelings. but recently is better.


This gives her a big reason not to trust you either... No matter what you think is going on, no matter what IS going on. You have no right hacking into her email.
illegalhost
hey, give her a GOOD ONE!!!! LOL.. DAWg, u've wasted enough of time, its time to MOVE on!!!!! she STILL has feelings for THAT guy, mate!!! give it a rest, and move along!! i think that it will hurt both of you IF u insists on settling it....... unless she approaches u and says sorry or something, otherwise, hey, there ARE other pebbles out there!!!! maybe she will get back with her ex if u push her tooo much to get back to her!! so, do the math, mate!!! all da besT!!!!! oh, and one more thing, next time, before u poke ur eye into her mail, it would be better to ASK first??? goodness!!!!! mails ARE private!!!!!!!!!!! they are like a DAIRY to all da girls!!!! but hey, it would be better off for you, now that u know she is treating u differently THAN before!!! i hate it when gals do not make up their mind about relationships - how could they miss their EX???? it is an EX for goodness sake!!! LOL.
jmlworld
I dunno what I would do if my girlfriend will lie to me... OK, Mya be I would like to take the decision at that time, however I'm not far away from my male counterparts, if she lays to me more than three times, just I would let her go away, cause, women today are pretty more than the guys on Earth, so I have my net laid on the road, and once again, I may grab bigger fishes! Loll![/b]
Subsonic Sound
cvkien wrote:
i actually hack into her email. because that day suddenly she place her laptop very close to her, like hiding something from me. and that make me curious. then i read those email she wrote and i found out what was happened. and since then i don't trust her anymore. everytime she online, i'll suspect she email with him. actually i also don't want like that but, feeling... i guess i'm acting according to my feelings. but recently is better.


Alright, stop and think.

You are having difficulties trusting her - but are you being any better? You are hacking her email, and invading her privacy. She shouldn't trust you either!
Drawingguy
See, now right there's a problem. These violations of trust can't be expected to help anything. If you don't trust her, and she shouldn't trust you (come on, you hacked her e-mail...if that was actual mail, wouldn't it have been a felony?), I think that you should both just move on.
windrei
But if you do not trust her anymore, you 2 will face a hard time and can no longer maintain the relationship. Trust is the most important in all relationships, right ?

if you think your girlfriend lied to you, why didn't you ask her ... ? did you ? i think, if she still concerns the relationship, she will tell you what's going on. First, she does not need to hide anything from you. Second, she will concern you that you will be unhappy and worry. Obviously from what you said, she does not concern the love with you anymore..... will you consider break up......

good luck..
cvkien
erm.. i did ask her bout that but she don't want to tell me anything. everytime i ask her, she will avoid me. and her friend, just a friend told me about her and it is totally different with what my girlfriend said. maybe dump her is the best way but it is hard to do it than say it. let say that was you and you love her so much, will you just let her go like that?? but i believe times can overcome everything. however, knife has already slice into the heart, so no matter what it is still pain.
LeatherRose
cvkien wrote:
erm.. i did ask her bout that but she don't want to tell me anything. everytime i ask her, she will avoid me. and her friend, just a friend told me about her and it is totally different with what my girlfriend said. maybe dump her is the best way but it is hard to do it than say it. let say that was you and you love her so much, will you just let her go like that?? but i believe times can overcome everything. however, knife has already slice into the heart, so no matter what it is still pain.


Honestly... why waist your time worrying about her when she is "talking" and worrying about other guys and now you. your thing sais you are an adolesent..i dont know if that means your age or if its a type of user..i just signed up yesterday..
but if she truley loves you and wants to be with you... tell her how you feel, what you think, and that it hurts you that she is "talking" to other guys. i put talking in quotations because you don't know if she is just emailing her ex or is going out to see him. I'm engaged and living with my fiance..and i can truely tell you that things work out..but she has to try as much as you. me and my fiance had to change something about ourselves and who we talk to because no matter what i would rather have him then anybody else in the world.
if she isn't willing to get over an old boyfriend and be open and honest with you about who and what boys she is talking to then she isn't worth the trouble. why are you going to be with a girl who is doing that to you when you are young enough to find somebody else who can treat and resect you better than that. i say tell her everything even what her friend said and tell her she needs to resect that you need to know what she is doing in her life because you care and if she isn't doing anything wrong then why is she hiding from you?
if she can't do this then she isn't worth it and leave her.
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