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Unrequited love with best friend of opposite sex?





adeeengotha
Have you had a best friend from the opposite sex, with whom you fell in love with and not had the same feeling reciprocated? Did your friendship survive inspite of the pangs of unrequited love. I know that it is quite common for the friendship to be over in such a situation, but it would be interesting and inspiring to hear about people who manage to remain friends inspite of everything.
molif
have heard these sort of things happen.. in movies.

but i guess it can be possible, if both of them work it out. somehow along the way though, they might grow apart because they find different lovers..
benjmd
If someone is a very close friend, you should love them deeply. The difference in your situation is that you also have a physical attraction. If that won't affect your friendship, you are fine.

If that person has expressed that they do not want to reciprocate that attraction, you should consider thinking about how to move on and here's why: Your best friend, someone you care about deeply, will always have to live with the burden of knowing they are the reason you feel sad and heart-broken. You will likely unfairly bias your own behavior towards this friend because of your feelings, no matter how hard you try not to. I have been through this, and it is not worth sacrificing a deep friendship for a deeper yearning that can be rekindled. You can always meet someone else and fall in love with them. That I guarantee no matter how unlikely it may feel now. But this friend is the only copy of them--your only chance to be friends with this unique person.

So how do you do it? First you commit yourself to it by understanding that it is important not only for you (so that you can someday find someone not just to love, but to be in love with, and also so that you can keep your friendship), but is important for someone you care about too--your friend. Second, you shut off the thoughts of desire. Every time one comes into your head, you say, "Nope, not gonna think about that. Instead I'm going to think about x, y, or z." We get into a habit of fantasizing or thinking amorously about someone and each thought only reinforces the emotions. The only way out is to really distract yourself from it. Don't stop being this person's friend, of course! Just refuse those thoughts that are specifically romantic.

And in the end, it works if you really want to make it work.
friuser
I actually think if you are best friends and not just a label or title you use to express all your relationships... you already love each other. If you mean love as in sexual and more "intimate" than it's really nothing more of a crush.

It's really in how you see what love is. I see my best friends as a lifelong friendship. anything additional is a plus but it really depends on the individual. I can't have complicated relationships because it sucks the life out of me but some people live by it.
bartdou
If I love a girl deeply but she only treat me as a good friend, I don't think I can keep this relationship, that's a torture for me, especially when she meets the guy she loves, assume the situation, you and she, and her boyfriend sitting together,you love her so you wish to be wish her,but she continually do the very intimate actions to that guy, how can you bear this? So forget her and get another girl to love, when you achieve this then be common friends with her again if necessary
Da Rossa
adeeengotha wrote:
Have you had a best friend from the opposite sex, with whom you fell in love with and not had the same feeling reciprocated? Did your friendship survive inspite of the pangs of unrequited love. I know that it is quite common for the friendship to be over in such a situation, but it would be interesting and inspiring to hear about people who manage to remain friends inspite of everything.


HELL YES!!! It was HORRIBLE. Well, the sensation of falling for her was just perfect, but there were complications: she had a boyfriend, that lived in another town, and constantly cheated on her; as she didn't see him every day, she couldn't catch him on the fly, so there had almost never been an argument between them. Our friendship did not survive because of HER. Also, some other foes aggravated the situation: they planted poison in her mind. Her boyfriend once refused to come here to see her one time to go to a hooker house. She believed that he didn't even "make a pass" at any one of the ****** in there.
Jaan
Yeah, I'm still friends with many people (3? I think?) in that situation. At first its a bit awkward but then we get used to it. They're all really good friends still.
myrevolt
It happens. Especially if they are lesbian oriented but call themselves bisexual Rolling Eyes . Anyway, you have to just not let it get to you and try to get over them quickly (hint: crush on another girl, hopefully one that is not a good friend of yours already). Some people are not attracted to people they are not familiar with, and the familiarity of a good friend is something that interests them. Best of luck Confused
frozenhead
Yes its true its happen for most of the people but for as long you believe in that you both yourselves are you're good friends no matter what, you'll be still friends. Wink
mickeymoo
It's a difficult situation to be in. I just came back from a weekend away with the best friend in question, where not only did we share a bedroom (twin beds), but it was such a quiet place that for the majority of the time away we had only each others company.
I have been in love with this friend for around eight years now, (close friends and family have ALWAYS assumed we are a couple) he has been made aware of this in the past, and as a result we did not speak for around a year. We managed eventually to pick our friendship off where we left off, perhaps even stronger than before. This does not mean to say that my feelings for him have dimninished in ANY way whatsoever, there have been MANY occasions (in fact just before this break) that I have considered ending the friendship entirely. However, I always come to the same conclusion, it is better to have him in my life in some capacity than not at all.
So yes it can work but it is ultimately an extremely difficult price to pay.
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