Jokes !
That occurs to Belgium, in a middle-class house. The maid (Belgian) made dust in the room of its owner
while the latter is made up in front of the hairdresser.
The chambermaid finding a hood worn under the bed:
- Oh Ben then once, that it is disgusting then...
The housewife:
- But let us go Ginette, please... remain correct!
- Of course Madam... but it is nevertheless really disgusting that once!
- It is enough Ginette... you thus do not make never love in Belgium?
- Of course that if Madam... but not at the point to leave the skin there!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Fleming and a Walloon discuss...
I does not extend on its motivation to justify it, but suddenly, the Fleming pushes following exclamation: Ho One
fly!
You will notice that the Fleming carries out this creditable effort to express himself in French.
The Walloon takes it again, and says to him: Not! A fly.
The very astonished Fleming answers him: Gotferdom have you good eyes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian who pushes his very new Mercedes on the motorway.
A gendarme stops and asks him which is the breakdown.
" Not, it is not broken down ", answers the Belgian, " it is new, but the mechanic said to me, during grinding, you roll to 50
k m/h downtown and push it to you a little on the motorway. Then it is what I do!!! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Belgian (or Switzerland, or Newfie) return of work earlier than usually.
It finds his wife with the bed with another man.
It sinks to seek a revolver in a drawer of its office, turns over to the room, fact face with the two lovers remained in the bed and
their lance * by pointing the weapon on its temple *:
- I will stop your small play once and for all
The couple in the bed starts to laughing then in an uncontrolled way (they is certainly the nerves)
Then the misled husband, furious howls to them:
- I do not know what you find of funny with that: Afterwards, it is your turn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They are two Belgians with hunting, they see passing a deltaplane. The first Belgian shoulders and draws:
Bah you missed it!!
Yes but it released its prey.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does one recognize a Belgian in an airport?
- It is the only one which gives to eat seeds with the planes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and why the Belgian submarines must go up all the 3 mn?
... to make breathe the oarsmen...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian who leaves on holiday to the Med Club.
There, he says himself, super, I will be able to make me to women, full women.
One day, two days..., NOTHING.
But at the time of these days of waitings, it noticed a G.O. (Nice Organizer) which does not stop, each time that it moves,
a herd of beautiful creatures follows it.
It thus decides D outward journey to see it to ask him its secrecy.
- But how do you make to have always as many women around you?
- It is very simple (ptit guy!), the morning I rise and I place a potato in my shirt.
- With ouais, J included/understood, say the Belgian...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following day evening, the G.O. re-examines the G.M. (Nice Member) and asks him how happened its day:
- Then that went (ptit guy!)
- Ben not I does not include/understand!*$!???
- Hé guy, is necessary for it to put potato in front!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
for our friends Belgians:
That occurs to time from Mitterand.
The king of the Belgians, exceeded by the French jokes on his subjects, will see the French president to ask him for a favour:
Baudouin: Mitterand hello; say you could not once make a large connery which one can make fun of you fieu???
Mitterand: good of agreement. and it decides to build a superb bridge in the desert.
On this, the Belgians marrent themselves like the insane ones of the French connery.
At the end of one year, the king cost sees Mitterand and says to him:
Baudouin: good go fieu, one has enough laughs, you can destroy it your bridge.
Mitterand: it is not possible.
Baudouin: Good Ah, why fieu???
Mitterand: Is necessary to wait until the Belgian fishermen go down from there!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Belgians discuss and one known as:
- thus Say I would like to test the echangism with your wife and mine.
- Oh Ben yes once, one can test.
One Saturday, they organize one evening.
At the end of two hours of echangism, one of the two Belgians known as:
- You believe that they are made as much chier that us at side our wives??!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
French returns visit to one of his friends Belgian who has just been Papa. French, seeing nourrisson in his pram
fall in admiration.
- As it is beautiful, And that makes him which age?
- 15 days, answers the Belgian.
- And how is it called?
- Ben that one does not know know you, it does not speak yet!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brussels is invaded by the rats. There is everywhere. It is the horror! They very tested, the rat poison, the cats, the raptors...
Nothing goes. But one day, they learn the existence, in the fine content of the South of France, of an old hermit who would have
miracle solutions for all. " Why not ", are said they... Then here are the wise ones of Brussels which leaves for Marseilles and its
scrubland. They find the old hermit and explain their problem to him. The old man laughs and says to them:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- I have the solution with your problems. Take this limps. Open it in your city. A rat will come out of there. It will make leave all the others.
Give it then inside and bring back it for me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wise ones set out again in their city and open limps it. Inside there is a rat. Any pink. Pink eyes, pink legs, the tail
pink, the pink hair... In short, a pink rat. The rat comes out, runs through the city, and soon all the rats of the city follow it. It finishes its
round while jumping in the river, and while swimming on other side. And, the rats of the city which follow it embed. The pink rat returns
in its limps. The wise ones think that that could be to make him well make the last turn. And they start again... Some
last rats finish also embedded. The city is released from its rats!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wise ones set out again for France, to bring back the pink rat to its owner.
Once on the spot, they gives the rat, and looks at the ones, the others.
An idea emerges. One of them is addressed to the old hermit:
- And, heu... you would not have one, heu... Flemish, of the same color?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Belgium prohibited the in vitro design...
... on already stopped six couples with the cathedral
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian truck driver which is pointed at the entry of a tunnel with its large truck. It must slow down considering that in front of him it y
has another Belgian truck (with Belgian driver) stopped in front of the input of the tunnel. The second driver goes down and asks
first why it is stopped. This one shows him the panel: maximum height 4.00 m and explains to him why its made truck
4m20, then that will wedge.
The second driver says then to the first:
- You t'en insane, it does not have there cops!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you know which is the best contraceptive means among Belgians?
Catapults...
... Pour to shoot at the storks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the border between Wallonia and the Flemish country (two areas of Belgium one speaks French, the other speaks Flemish,
find two factories:
At the entry of the first in Wallonia one reads " Ici, one does not speak Flemish "
At the entry of the second in Flemish country one reads " Ici one does not speak, one works "!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian, on the ice... He comes out his saw and his cane to fishing, and starts to cut out a hole in the ice. At this time
there, a voice of in addition to tomb, frozen, resounding, announces:
" IT THERE A NO POISSON HERE... "
The Belgian, amazed, stops, looks around him, sees nobody, and continuous.
" IT THERE A NO POISSON HERE! "
Still once, it stops, and tightens the ear... Anxious, it resumes its work
" IT THERE A * NOT * OF POISSON HERE!!! "
And the Belgian to answer: " But which speaks, once?! "
" - THE DIRECTOR OF THE SKATING RINK! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Belgium: They all are not idiots!
... The scientists question themselves all the same
That occurs to Belgium, in a middle-class house. The maid (Belgian) made dust in the room of its owner
while the latter is made up in front of the hairdresser.
The chambermaid finding a hood worn under the bed:
- Oh Ben then once, that it is disgusting then...
The housewife:
- But let us go Ginette, please... remain correct!
- Of course Madam... but it is nevertheless really disgusting that once!
- It is enough Ginette... you thus do not make never love in Belgium?
- Of course that if Madam... but not at the point to leave the skin there!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Fleming and a Walloon discuss...
I does not extend on its motivation to justify it, but suddenly, the Fleming pushes following exclamation: Ho One
fly!
You will notice that the Fleming carries out this creditable effort to express himself in French.
The Walloon takes it again, and says to him: Not! A fly.
The very astonished Fleming answers him: Gotferdom have you good eyes!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian who pushes his very new Mercedes on the motorway.
A gendarme stops and asks him which is the breakdown.
" Not, it is not broken down ", answers the Belgian, " it is new, but the mechanic said to me, during grinding, you roll to 50
k
m/h downtown and push it to you a little on the motorway. Then it is what I do!!! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Belgian (or Switzerland, or Newfie) return of work earlier than usually.
It finds his wife with the bed with another man.
It sinks to seek a revolver in a drawer of its office, turns over to the room, fact face with the two lovers remained in the bed and
their lance * by pointing the weapon on its temple *:
- I will stop your small play once and for all
The couple in the bed starts to laughing then in an uncontrolled way (they is certainly the nerves)
Then the misled husband, furious howls to them:
- I do not know what you find of funny with that: Afterwards, it is your turn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They are two Belgians with hunting, they see passing a deltaplane. The first Belgian shoulders and draws:
Bah you missed it!!
Yes but it released its prey.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does one recognize a Belgian in an airport?
- It is the only one which gives to eat seeds with the planes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and why the Belgian submarines must go up all the 3 mn?
... to make breathe the oarsmen...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian who leaves on holiday to the Med Club.
There, he says himself, super, I will be able to make me to women, full women.
One day, two days..., NOTHING.
But at the time of these days of waitings, it noticed a G.O. (Nice Organizer) which does not stop, each time that it moves,
a herd of beautiful creatures follows it.
It thus decides D outward journey to see it to ask him its secrecy.
- But how do you make to have always as many women around you?
- It is very simple (ptit guy!), the morning I rise and I place a potato in my shirt.
- With ouais, J included/understood, say the Belgian...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following day evening, the G.O. re-examines the G.M. (Nice Member) and asks him how happened its day:
- Then that went (ptit guy!)
- Ben not I does not include/understand!*$!???
- Hé guy, is necessary for it to put potato in front!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
for our friends Belgians:
That occurs to time from Mitterand.
The king of the Belgians, exceeded by the French jokes on his subjects, will see the French president to ask him for a favour:
Baudouin: Mitterand hello; say you could not once make a large connery which one can make fun of you fieu???
Mitterand: good of agreement. and it decides to build a superb bridge in the desert.
On this, the Belgians marrent themselves like the insane ones of the French connery.
At the end of one year, the king cost sees Mitterand and says to him:
Baudouin: good go fieu, one has enough laughs, you can destroy it your bridge.
Mitterand: it is not possible.
Baudouin: Good Ah, why fieu???
Mitterand: Is necessary to wait until the Belgian fishermen go down from there!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Belgians discuss and one known as:
- thus Say I would like to test the echangism with your wife and mine.
- Oh Ben yes once, one can test.
One Saturday, they organize one evening.
At the end of two hours of echangism, one of the two Belgians known as:
- You believe that they are made as much chier that us at side our wives??!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
French returns visit to one of his friends Belgian who has just been Papa. French, seeing nourrisson in his pram
fall in admiration.
- As it is beautiful, And that makes him which age?
- 15 days, answers the Belgian.
- And how is it called?
- Ben that one does not know know you, it does not speak yet!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brussels is invaded by the rats. There is everywhere. It is the horror! They very tested, the rat poison, the cats, the raptors...
Nothing goes. But one day, they learn the existence, in the fine content of the South of France, of an old hermit who would have
miracle solutions for all. " Why not ", are said they... Then here are the wise ones of Brussels which leaves for Marseilles and its
scrubland. They find the old hermit and explain their problem to him. The old man laughs and says to them:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- I have the solution with your problems. Take this limps. Open it in your city. A rat will come out of there. It will make leave all the others.
Give it then inside and bring back it for me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wise ones set out again in their city and open limps it. Inside there is a rat. Any pink. Pink eyes, pink legs, the tail
pink, the pink hair... In short, a pink rat. The rat comes out, runs through the city, and soon all the rats of the city follow it. It finishes its
round while jumping in the river, and while swimming on other side. And, the rats of the city which follow it embed. The pink rat returns
in its limps. The wise ones think that that could be to make him well make the last turn. And they start again... Some
last rats finish also embedded. The city is released from its rats!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wise ones set out again for France, to bring back the pink rat to its owner.
Once on the spot, they gives the rat, and looks at the ones, the others.
An idea emerges. One of them is addressed to the old hermit:
- And, heu... you would not have one, heu... Flemish, of the same color?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Belgium prohibited the in vitro design...
... on already stopped six couples with the cathedral
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian truck driver which is pointed at the entry of a tunnel with its large truck. It must slow down considering that in front of him it y
has another Belgian truck (with Belgian driver) stopped in front of the input of the tunnel. The second driver goes down and asks
first why it is stopped. This one shows him the panel: maximum height 4.00 m and explains to him why its made truck
4m20, then that will wedge.
The second driver says then to the first:
- You t'en insane, it does not have there cops!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you know which is the best contraceptive means among Belgians?
Catapults...
... Pour to shoot at the storks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the border between Wallonia and the Flemish country (two areas of Belgium one speaks French, the other speaks Flemish,
find two factories:
At the entry of the first in Wallonia one reads " Ici, one does not speak Flemish "
At the entry of the second in Flemish country one reads " Ici one does not speak, one works "!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a Belgian, on the ice... He comes out his saw and his cane to fishing, and starts to cut out a hole in the ice. At this time
there, a voice of in addition to tomb, frozen, resounding, announces:
" IT THERE A NO POISSON HERE... "
The Belgian, amazed, stops, looks around him, sees nobody, and continuous.
" IT THERE A NO POISSON HERE! "
Still once, it stops, and tightens the ear... Anxious, it resumes its work
" IT THERE A * NOT * OF POISSON HERE!!! "
And the Belgian to answer: " But which speaks, once?! "
" - THE DIRECTOR OF THE SKATING RINK! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Belgium: They all are not idiots!
... The scientists question themselves all the same
