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In love with two guys.





sandra
i've been going out with my guy for about 2yrs and 6mnts, we've seen the ups and down of the relationship.I love him as much as he loves me.
recently we had a fight and i travelled to visit friends in another state. I met a guy and we became close friends.
The problem is i love my guy so much but i find myself thinking about this other guy, he tells me he thinks about me also which i believe.
So i in love with them both i need to know.
James007
Moderation note:
I changed your topic name as "I'm i in LOVE with 1 ladies" clearly doesn't correspond with the content of your post.
Da Rossa
sandra wrote:
i've been going out with my guy for about 2yrs and 6mnts, we've seen the ups and down of the relationship.I love him as much as he loves me.
recently we had a fight and i travelled to visit friends in another state. I met a guy and we became close friends.
The problem is i love my guy so much but i find myself thinking about this other guy, he tells me he thinks about me also which i believe.
So i in love with them both i need to know.


You're just suffering from the fog of the fight. One fight is even healthy for a relationship, believe me. This new guy is exactely what you heart currently feels it needs, given the circumstances. He's being nice to you, and something like this seems to be all you need in this crisis. However, I'd say it's too early for you to abandon YOUR guy for this uncertain adventure. This is the time in which you realize who you really cares about.
Azmo
stay with ur boyfriend.. as Da Rossa said.. it's to early.. and IF you are going to start something with this new guy.. make sure u finish everything off with ur boyfriend first.. and it's never a good thing to jump from 1 relationship to another.. give it some time.. talk with ur boyfriend.. it's easy to get a crush on someone when you had a big fight.. or just thinking about someone else.. I've done that too.. but stay with ur boyfriend.. best advice I can give u..
Da Rossa
Azmo wrote:
stay with ur boyfriend.. as Da Rossa said.. it's to early.. and IF you are going to start something with this new guy.. make sure u finish everything off with ur boyfriend first.. and it's never a good thing to jump from 1 relationship to another.. give it some time.. talk with ur boyfriend.. it's easy to get a crush on someone when you had a big fight.. or just thinking about someone else.. I've done that too.. but stay with ur boyfriend.. best advice I can give u..


Azmo just said everything I missed!
SyncM
If you have stay with one guy in 2,5 years you must like him if you feel that he right keep him. The other guy can be attraciv and exiting for the first two months then it will get in the same rutin as the other .
Da Rossa
The new guy will act like a gap filler. This is delusional.
urbanbuddha
I think you are not in love with this new guy. You've been dating your boyfriend for more than two years, so of course the initial excitement and attraction has faded. After a fight with your boyfriend, you've become unsure and in this emotional state, you found a new guy who has sparked some interest. This is most likely superficial. Would you rather be with someone you love and loves you, despite all the flaws and quirks that you've come to discover about each other?

Even if you find yourself thinking about this other guy, I don't think it's love. It's just you being unsure. Thus, it's not worth leaving your boyfriend for this person.
plentyof
I was in this same mess some time back:i've been dating my girl for 19months when we had a bad agument and it really got so ugly.
Well we had to cool off and i decided it was the best time to hang out with my old pals in another city.
I got to meet a girl from my pal and we started talking always, we where on the phone like 3 times a week, i would travel back to see her and thngs like that. meanwhile me and my girl where still badly in love i knew that cause i was always feeling guilty after talking with this new chick.
I found out later that it wasn't going anywhere afterall if i didn't love my lady i wouldn't be with her for so long and after a lil unhearty remarks i didn't see why i should let her go.
To tell you the truth i'm getting married to my lady,i'll send you an ivy if you want to come around.
So i'l say don't let go of your man cause you had to shout to the roof top if that was how it ended stick with him.Tell me want happens in a months time .ok
CptSaladin
Quite clearly as a concerned reader, it isn't as simple as being able to tell you which guy to go with. The real issue here is you. Again, I don't mean to be harsh, but if you can say you're honestly thinking about someone else while with a boyfriend of two and a half years, your might just be stringing him along, and that simply isn't fair. Also, for the new guy in your mind, he is left wondering what he means to you and that isn't fair either. People often look for pity when they have two love interests, but the fact is plain and simple. Your indecisiveness is unfair to both parties and you need to seriously examine yourself to discern what's right in this situation.
molif
its better to stick with an old love. i am not saying this because you have to be answerable to your bf. but through the good times and bad times, i am pretty sure you'll rather stick with him since you loved him for so long. true love doesn't fade. the second guy is a passing crush, and i'm sure he will soon fade in your life.
srinath
just tell the other guy about ur fisrt boyfriend and even then he loves u like he did before then u can further think upon this.........
karysky
The fact that you're interested in a new guy clearly points out that you might not love your boyfriend as much as you think, or that there are problems within your relationship.

It happened to me, I was going out with a guy for 4 years.... 4 years! My first serious boyfriend! But I knew that, somehow, I wasn't completely happy with him. I couldn't make him laugh, we didn't have a lot of fun together. But I thought I loved him. The fact is that it wasn't love. I only cared about him, cared deeply, but nothing more. I knew we were gonna split someday.

And then I met this one other guy. Boum! Love at first sight. But I refused to admit it to myself, because I thought I was happy with the other guy. But then, the more I saw the other guy (we practiced the same sport, twice a week together), the more I made him laugh and the more I thought that we were a lot more compatible. And then, I splitted with my boyfriend, after many months of thinking about it (of course, I didn't take that decision on the course of a single night, it took me several weeks and many advices from my closest friends).

I'm still not going out with that new guy, and it's been half a year now. I just need time by myself, and I've grown more and more in love with him over those months. I'm just waiting for the right time, and the right opportunity.

I can tell you that a huge burden was taken off my shoulders the night I splitted with my ex, but that's because he was a burden for me. I know I wouldn't have let my heart beat for another guy if everything was perfect in my relationship with my ex bf.

If your current boyfriend is sweet with you, and you love him dearly, then stay with him.

Otherwise, just think about it, and TAKE YOUR TIME!

Good luck Smile
frozenhead
Yeah, I'll totally agree with the guys here. Stay with your boyfriend.

I guess you just love the idea of your closeness the that guy, I mean that other guy you just met.
arjay
I’ll go a step forward since most have been said about keeping the relationship with the first guy. I won’t be as definite and concern about who to keep but instead I will try to look at the post from a rational-but-commonly-ignored point of view. Smile

Your post indicates a major weakness in your relationship with your guy. The length of time may be ignored for the moment, as length won’t guarantee a successful life of coexistence now and in the future. Wink

But, from the limited information in your post, one thing is clear - the 2 years and 6 months of going out did not produce a stronger relationship. Your relationship with your guy can easily be challenged by any new guy coming your way and it is weakest when you are in your down moments like ‘fights’ and others. When confusions and doubts start to creep-in into your relationship, your ‘love’ becomes unreal and eventually this kind of weakness will lead to a total collapse of the relationship if not addressed properly. Idea

As much as you have shown your interest with the other guy, so be it. Continue being friendly with him. Your guy of 2 years and 6 months does not guarantee that he is better than the new guy, neither I am saying the new guy is better. As much as you are still single gives you a lot of leverage in this kind of situation. But along this line, you should not forget the good moments and memories you have shared with your guy, these are your glories and you just can’t simply ignore them. Smile

Sandra, there is no such thing as ‘being in love’ with two guys at the same time. Either you love one of them or you love neither. This may sound argumentative but before going into the idea, have you asked yourself what does it mean and what does it take to be ‘in love’? Maybe the idea profounded by poster Karysky deserves a lot of credit in opening up realities in a relationship we so often ignored. Think

It just needs one significant moment in our lives to tell us we are really not in love. Shame on you

Wishing you all the best in finding your true love.

Goodluck.
ReubenWilliams
sandra wrote:
i've been going out with my guy for about 2yrs and 6mnts, we've seen the ups and down of the relationship.I love him as much as he loves me.
recently we had a fight and i travelled to visit friends in another state. I met a guy and we became close friends.
The problem is i love my guy so much but i find myself thinking about this other guy, he tells me he thinks about me also which i believe.
So i in love with them both i need to know.


look at me
i'm sandra D
confused by loves Geometry

xx

All I could say would be, take some time away from both of them, and see who you miss more. Don;t do anything without thinking carefully and obvuiosly be sensitive to your bfriend as he has been with you and supported you theese last 2 yrs.
chastise
The fight's still washing over you, and gusy always say that
whether it to be a gentlemen or that they really mean it.

But you should stay with your boyfriend, like you said you've gone through the ups and downs, and a fight shouldn't do anything to your relation, and you shouldn't get another guy to get in the way with someone you've been through so much.
Da Rossa
Oh my God Sandra is gone! Sad

Come back please!! Tell us what you decided!! Very Happy
cath_welch
i am also in love with 2 guys. its difficult. i have realised that you have to go with the flow. you cant change anything thats going to happen. let it settle
Chinmoy
you have an infatuation for the other. Just that you should know which is the other!
James007
I'm closing this topic because of a topic bump, combined with a series of one line replies, which don't bring anything new to the topic.

The topic starter hasn't replied anyway.

-close-
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