Well Im just curious as to what people think. Ive been dating a girl for 8 months that lives 2500 km away. Ive met her once in person for a week, and in 20 days shes coming here to visit!!
Do you think a distant relationship can work?
It will work if you both find a way to lessen the distance between the two of you. One of my first relationships was long distance. My girlfriend had moved 2000miles away to attend school. It was tough and we wrote tons of letters back and forth. It wasn't until we were together that we were able to move the relationship forward to the next level. Letter writing, phone calls, emails or what have you can only do so much to keep it going. Hopefully you can prove me wrong and manage to find a way to make it work. Good luck!
i say no, when it comes down to it, humans in a relationship need physical connection. and that means constantly...when u get close then distant again, meaning when she flys over and then leaves, u feel withdrawn....feel a break in the connection, feel neglected etc....eventually it will eat at you, it just doesnt work, we need sex, and we need a lot of it....we need to have everyday phsycal interaction. the phone can only do so much. i've had a long distance relationship it's crap...when u wanna have sex, u cant, u gotta wait, urges come up, other hot girls around u, and there u go.....done deal my friend...it doesnt work, take what u can get, get some, learn, and move on....or tell her to move
ok, first of all.. Evilryu530 it's not all about sex, you do know that people do more then just having sex? But yes, sex is a big deal.. but not everything..
Anyways, I don't belive in a relationship with you two that faar away from eachother.. it's alot easier to argue over the phone or IM conversations.. you might break down your relationship to the ground, having small rises when u see eachother, but you'll soon realise that this just isnt the thing.. I know it's har to say goodbye, but sometimes we have to.. I've had distans relationsships too.. and Even if it where like 500km.. a 5 hour drive, it's not thar bad.. however, this makes it possible to only see eachother in weekends.. I guess you guys are in school still.. so you still got some hollidays.. but the second one of you start to work.. he/she won't have those hollidays anymore, and even less chances of seeing eachother... My advide to you would be "be smart, and end it before it get's to painful to do it" cause you are only fooling yourself..
Anyawys, that's just my opinion, ofc I hope you two will work it out just great, however, I'm doubtful.
No offence given with this post, so I hope you arn't mad at me because of anything I just wrote..
as I said.. good luck with everything!
It works for some but not for others. Well, I think it really depends on the couple how to work it out. Good luck for you both.
Funny, I was just coming to post a topic about this. My girlfriend and I have been dating for, well a month today, but I've recently moved pretty far away for studying purposes. We both keep in touch daily and often do our best to keep the love alive. I have to say, so far so good. I'll be moving back to her late September for about a month or so, but then moving away again if I get the job I'm aiming for. Then we probably won't be "together" until next year.
I was too wondering what anyone made of this, or if they've had similar situations. I believe that if the love is true, and the couple are patient, then they can overcome whatever barries life places infront of them.
It is 100% guaranteed to work if you have a relationship and by relationship I mean RELATIONSHIP, all attributes of a relationship will make it work in cases it does not work then it probably would not have worked even if you where together, in these cases the distance and difficulties just speed up a process that was bound to happen.
I have been through long distance relationshits and relationships and the relationship side works out quite easily no stress no headachs and the love shines through.
cheers and good luck
In my opinion, a distance relationship CAN work, but is it really worth it?
It's just harder for both sides. I don't think you'll ever get happy unless you move together.
It's hard. Very hard. At the end of the day, there are one of two outcomes. Either you break up, or decide the distance isn't worth it, which will hurt... or one of you moves to be closer than the other, which can be a huge sacrifice.
It's certainly not impossible.
Some people will say 'is it worth it'. If you're talking in terms of a crush, or a purely physical attraction, then the question is valid. If you're talking about love, then the question is ridiculous, because the answer is always going to be yes.
I live on a different continent to my girlfriend of two years. I love her very much, and am intending to emigrate over there are soon as it's feasible.
It just can't work, I still can't believe it...
It's our two year anniversary tomorrow.
Yes, it just takes a lot more effort.
maybe youre right, but its not for all people. I couldnt live like that...
yes... but mostly no. don't be too naive now.
I believe It can work but its not for everyone, the distance is hard for many people I think it depends on your experiences. I think it gets easier for people who have been in a relationship for a longer period of time because the feeling of commitment is stronger. It is also important to figure out the logistics of long distance relationship before, and the reasons why they are staying in their relationship (i.e are they together for the sake of it, or are they staying together because it is leading somewhere months/years down the line).
So in summary I believe it can work but you both have to put the effort into it.
[It is 100% guaranteed to work if you have a relationship and by relationship I mean RELATIONSHIP, all attributes of a relationship will make it work in cases it does not work then it probably would not have worked even if you where together, in these cases the distance and difficulties just speed up a process that was bound to happen.]
People who are in love enough to work on a distance relationship will work hard enough to eliminate the distance. This is a no-brainer. I haven't made one work. But I wouldn't give up a true love for something as trivial as short-term distance. Come on? If you've been involved with someone who meant a lot, I'm sure you know they were/are worth the effort of making it work until life plays a friendlier hand.
Life is like climbing mountains (deliberate steps) and rivers (going where currents take you). If you're lucky enough to have had the river drift you into someone important, you owe it to yourself to take a purposful step up the mountain.
i believe it can work, if both parties set it out to work it. like Azmo said, it's not about sex. sex isn't what brings 2 people together most of the time..
eventually the 2 would have to stay together, and that might be hard. especially if they get together but have belonged from 2 different parts of the world.
I was in a relationship just like that. I was great for 2 years, however I cheat on her she didnt know find out, but I had to face the true and tell her. It could work if both love god more than anything else.
Well that's a new approach... I would have said it can work if you both love EACH OTHER more than anything else.
With a LOT of work, it can work. But you can't stay long distance forever, so there will come a time when you both need to make plans on lessening this distance and perhaps one of you may have to move away from your family to be with the other. Good luck!
it depends on how much u trust each others..otherwise this type of relationship is not going to survive long enough
its worked for me so far
the girl ive been seeing lives about 45 minutes from me, and we see each other about every weekend
i feel it makes things more exciting because the anticipation of seeing them builds up over time, instead of living in the same city/area where as you see the person every day, and you could quickly lose interest
Now my most successful relationship was about six months but I do have some experience with distance. If you have a strong relationship before you move apart then I think the chances are very likely that things will work. However with a long distance relationship there needs to be an expectation of seeing each other again or plans for being together again in the future.
And usually during the times that you are apart realize that the relationship will not grow...so the more time spent apart the more time wasted that could be used getting to know the person better.
I hate relationship
First off, I wish the poll had a "kinda/maybe" option, lol
But anyway, for me... a bestfriend relationship didn't even work long distance, so I would't try a boyfriend/girlfriend long distance relationship. However, that's just me. I believe that if you are in love or you really care about each other... then it will work.
Everyones different, for some people it could work 100% and others just can't handle it. I think it mostly depends on whether it is okay to both of you that talking on the phone or visiting a couple times ever so often is as close as you can get to actually being with each other. For some people it is hard for them to be in a relationship like that. If you are really close and share the same interest, I'd say it will work out. And in the end, who knows you could be with each other or living together some day.
It works both ways. I think somebody in a distant relationship builds trust between each other, because you have to believe in your heart that that person isn't cheating on you. On the other hand, people get to controlling and again can't handle it. So it all depends on each person... you can really answer your question with a correct answer, only with your personal experiences.
No. Again no.
The whole point in a relationship is to stay close. Within reach. Unless you could cement something higher than physical contact, then maybe you have a shot. But it's still pretty hard to pull off.
I had a long distance relationship when I was younger, and all the issues
everyone here has braught up were deffinately a factor. The trust must
be high, and little things can easily break that trust. The longing,
yearning, and missing the other person can not only damage the
relationship but also be depressing at times.
When you really love someone you want to be there for them when they
need you (and vice versa) and the frustration from not being able to do
that (or have that) can be very hard to cope with.
Not to mention, the only way to REALLY know someone is to be with them
regularly, someone you love from a distance can easily turn out to be
someone you can't stand in person on a continuous day-to-day basis.
(that was my problem) Things that can easily be hidden or kept out of the
picture long distance come to surface when the distance is gone.
All things are possible, depending on how compatible you two are there is
a good chance you can make it work - However, I would suggest
eliminating the distance as soon as possible without risking too much in
the event things don't work out (emotionaly, and financialy)
that's my two cents...if you're unsatisfied..I will accept refunds
good luck to you!
Well I didn’t vote because I think the answer is completely depending on how loyal the two people in the relationship are.
Well here is my opinion. I my self have only been in one real relationship and i can actually give you both sides of the story here. From my perspective the best thing in a relationship is waking up one morning and knowing you are going to see this person. If that happens once a week or once a year it doesn't really matter. On the other hand because you are not seeing each other that often it means that there should be a really strong sense of trust. As much as everyone denies it jealousy is part of a healthy relationship but to much can ruin one.
Now from my personal experience i once travelled to England and stayed with some of my mates for a while. Well i ended up fancying a girl there. She fancied me back but when I left we found that it was to hard to base a relationship on what we had. Now my current relationship is with a girl who goes to my high school. I can argue that seeing someone every single day for a great deal of hours can be difficult in the beginning. But you get used to it. But i have recently been offered the opportunity to participate in a year long trip across the world. In my opinion this will have very little bearing on our relationship because it is already strong.
In the end ill end with: If it is the right 2 people, and the right circumstances than it doesn't really matter how far away you are from each other.
Best of luck mate
to make it work, either one or both have to move.. definitely.
I was in a distant relationship about 2.5 years ago, it only lasted a year. Both parties (that is both the two people in the relationship) have to be very strong willed and passionate about the relationship, or else it probably won't last. That's my experience and findings.
* I decided not to vote because it may be in opposition of my post.
i think it depends on how much the two people are going to make it work and how much do they truley love eachother.
but other than that..i don't think most of them will work out because you can't be with the person. laugh with them, walk with them, spend quality time together, and bond.
I do believe in fate when in comes to real love. Whether it's long-distance relationships or the gal just lives next door, if she's fated for you, then it will work.
good point.. i believe in fate.. if it's your fate/destiny to have and maintain a long distance relationship, you will have one..
Sorry if I offend someone by saying this but I think they are pretty muchs tupid altogether
I have been in one and I hated it, do u mean long distance as in internet relationships? if you do,
I think internet relationships are asically just sad, you don't ask ther person out in person which doesn't help when you actually do come around to asking someone out in person, the one I was in the girl cheated on me which is probably another bad thing about them, You don't spend any time together in person (go to the movies, resteraunt) which I think is essential in a relationship, well for me anyway, people laugh at you and the fact of the matter is, you dont know if thats really a girl/boy your talking to (47 year old paedophile?)
I used to be in a long distance relationship a few weeks ago. My girl was half way around the world from me and we still used to be so close. But she always used to tell me to come over there and I could not leave my family and go half away around the world. Also, she was the one who had to go that far from me instead of living/studying here. For that she gave all the stupid reasons.
But anyway we were together for about nearly 2 years and those 2 years were very hard. She was so far from me and we used to get to talk with each other only sometimes. We both promised that we would wait for each other but one day she finds this other guy who she tells loves her very much. She then told me that she needed his support and had to let me go. She also told me that she still loves me and will always love me.
My reaction:- bullcrap. No more long distance relationship anymore. No more serious relationships anymore. I do not want to get hurt anymore.
I think I dare to say that I probably have on of the "worst" long distance relationships. I live in Sweden, and my girlfriend live in Hawaii. I met here when I lived there for 6 months as a volunteer. We have been a couple for over 7 months now, and out of those 7 months, we've been together physically (being in the same place) for about 3 months. I must admit that it is tough at times... but man do I love her. She's a fantastic woman!
I think this is a personal view point between the two people. It really comes down to how people feel in a relationship. To me being in a relationship is about being together, sharing your life together. So this is pretty hard when youre not living together.
Im talking from experience here I ve tried the long distance relationship and it was pretty hard with all the feelings you have for each other.
However good things come to those who wait
I didn't have one yet, but i think it could work, but no for a long time.
well I could just add that me and my girlfriend (who I wrote about in an earlier post) are still together, soon reachin 8 months as a couple! hopefully I will be able to get her here for christmas, for like 4 weeks! Gosh Im so stoked on her coming here!!!
I think it depends of the person. If both of them take seriously the relationship, it works.
Hugs, kisses and sex is not everything.
Look at the old married couples, you rarely see them doing these kind of things, and even that, they love each other, because they reached a different level of the relationship.
I agree totally with deadxdusk, of course, if your relationship is based on sex, it won't work. Then the relationship wouldnt last a week on long distance probably. Personally, what I miss the most about the physical, is that sometimes, say if you're both maybe tired, been workin, school or whatever, and you dont really feel like talkin, or are too tired too, you could always hold eachother or something and still have an awesome time. Since all I can do is talk to and see her, those days when we both are too tired to really talk, usually turn out kinda weird... So I really miss the ability to just hold her days like that...
It puts a lot of strains on relationships. I have tried it thrice and none was successful. It's better not to prevent situations that are bound to hurt our feelings than allow them to create scars on our minds. It hurts to build a relationship and just allow distance to break it down. Distance cuts off proper communication, it cuts off the real essence of relationship-complete feelings
of course, it does not work..... when you fall in love with someone, you always want to see him/her, meet him/her... how can you stand the lonely days.... you can say that you 2 can communicate through webcam and phone, but meeting face to face is completely a different feeling.
if you really love her, move to her city ....
The only way to make a long distance relationship work is to take out the long distance part(ie. if you keep it long distance too long its bound not to work out).
Time needs to be spent in person. Besides, I really hate talking on the phone for more than 3 minutes. I'd go insane is some woman expected me to waste 3 hours everyday on the phone.
well my hawaii girl is coming to sweden for christmas, wohooO!!!! So at least my relationship will not be long distance during christmas! Oh my gosh Im so excited! Btw does anyone have any suggestions how I can work it out so I can be with her? She's from hawaii, Im from sweden, we both study... how can we get to be together? I cannot afford to pay for american schools (schools are free here in sweden, so...) and she cannot really find classes in english that fits her major in sweden....
yes, my long distance relationship has been working for the last 5 years and doesnt show any signs of ending. So id say yes it does work, but both people in the relationship have to be willing to make it work.